Fix a Heart
by snarkysweetness
Summary: Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and [continues within]
1. (Skye) I Tried to Sever Ties

**Title: **Fix a Heart  
**Chapter 01:** (Skye) I Tried to Sever Ties  
**Author:** snarkysweetness  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters:** Team Bus, Team Playground, Team Avengers, etc.  
**Pairings:** Skyeward, Fitzsimmons, Philinda, Triphunter, Huntingbird, Clintasha, &amp; Pepperony with past Hawkingbird, Izzy/Victoria, &amp; May/Skye's Father  
**Summary:** Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.  
**Warnings:** Heavy-handed on the angst, mentions to Bahrain and China, sexual situations, cursing, mild-violence, &amp; oh yes did I mention there's angst?  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Author's Notes:** So I kind of wanted to do something like this awhile back and then the promo happened and I became consumed with this. I'm trying a different storytelling style that I hope works. This has been really painful to write so far and I was planning to post it all at once but I realized not only would that been way too many words to post at once but way too much pain as well. I'm planning to post chapters in chunks as I feel they go together best and I'm hoping this will be finished by the time the second season actually airs. Anyway, enjoy and try not to hate me too much because the show will probably hurt more?

The heels of her boots echoed through the dim hallway as she followed the guard to an interrogation room. Just being here gave her the creeps; and in the past two and a half years she'd been in her share of hellholes, so for her to find this place unsettling…

Well, she wasn't going to think about that. She was here for a reason and so was he; he _deserved_ to be here. She refused to feel sorry for him just because prison was just as terrible as she'd imagined it would be (and she had imagined it plenty).

"He'll be right through here, Agent May," the guard instructed as he led her through into the darkest, dingiest interrogation room she'd ever seen (and she thought The Playground was bad). Skye gave him a short nod as he disappeared and let out a small sigh of relief when he was gone.

She resisted the urge to toy with her new bangs (God, she hated them) and inspected a spot on the wall. There was nothing special about it; she just wanted to avoid having to look at him for as long as possible. Not to mention she wanted to avoid contact with the guards as much as she could. She knew that with her make-over (though the resemblance was already remarkable), her hacking skills, and help from May she'd get away with impersonating May's younger, CIA-operative sister, but it didn't stop her from fearing she'd be caught.

Skye was putting everything on the line by being here and she was not going to allow Grant Ward to destroy her life again.

Her skin went cold as a pair of footsteps sounded through the tiny room. A metal chair scraped across the concrete floor and she could hear him being shoved into it.

"Five minutes."

She nodded and kept her gaze ahead, feeling sicker to her stomach than she'd ever felt in her life (which was saying something).

Skye could feel his eyes on her as the lights flickered. Neither said a word. She knew he had to have something to say, he'd requested to see her so many times she'd lost count; but she'd never come, not until now, not until she needed him.

The chair moved again but she didn't flinch. There was a gun tucked securely in its holster and he'd be dead on the ground before he could touch her. She wasn't the same terrified little girl he'd met all those years ago; she not only had what it took to pull the trigger but she would not hesitate.

"Sk…Skye?" He whispered in a hollow voice. "Is…" His voice broke. "Sweetheart? Is that you? You're really here?" He was close to tears and she hated that after all this time, after everything he'd done, that even though she hated him with every fiber of her being she felt a familiar pull to him.

She slowly turned her head but didn't look at him. "Shh, it's me," she whispered as she slipped her 'badge' out of her pocket and pressed a button. The lights flickered again and then the room went half-dark. She wasn't sure if they bothered to keep surveillance equipment in here but now it didn't matter; at least for the next three minutes.

She gathered the courage to spare him a glance. Just once glance. She just had to see him, once, just to _know_, but when she did she realized how close he'd gotten (she cursed herself for allowing him to surprise her, she was better than this) and she quickly stumbled back, wanting to be as far from him as possible. This of course meant she had to see him, all of him, and take in how…

Every single part of her went cold.

Were they even feeding him?

And when was the last time he'd met a razor?

Ward's expression shifted from worry to hurt and she grew angry. He had no right to feel anything, he was the one who had broken _everything_, broken them; this was all _his_ fault.

"Sk-Skye?"

"I need your help," she whispered, hating that she was here, that she'd allowed Coulson to talk her into this, but…

Well, this wasn't about her anymore.

He nodded like a faithful puppy and oh was there somewhere she wanted to kick him.

"You said once…you'd found things out about me? And when Coulson…He said it was about my parents and that you would only tell me?" Leave it to him to try to manipulate a visit out of her. The day they'd shipped him off to a real prison had been one of the best days of her life (how those all seemed to involve him she would never understand).

"Skye, I'm-"

"I don't care. There are only three things I want to know: everything about my parents, if you still have contacts within Hydra, and if you're committed to proving you can change."

Coulson was big on the forgiveness and redemption, and while Skye didn't agree that Ward deserved it nor that he could pull it off she owed Coulson everything, so she would let this one slide: for now.

He nodded obediently and she moved to the door.

"Tomorrow; noon. I'd recommend staying away from the outer wall of your cell, unless you want to get blown up, in which case be my guest," she instructed as she turned the knob.

"What-wait! I need to tell you-"

"There's no time, tomorrow," she muttered knowing the electronic blackout had worn off.

"Skye!" Now his voice was strong and she'd be lying if she said it didn't break her heart to hear how desperate he sounded.

"No," she hissed, close to tears and having no desire to hear anything he had to say.

"Skye, I still-"

The door slammed behind her before she could hear his confession.


	2. (Skye) I Ended Up with Wounds to Bind

**Title: **Fix a Heart  
**Chapter 02:** (Skye) I Ended Up with Wounds to Bind  
**Author:** snarkysweetness  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters:** Team Bus, Team Playground, Team Avengers, etc.  
**Pairings:** Skyeward, Fitzsimmons, Philinda, Triphunter, Huntingbird, Clintasha, &amp; Pepperony with past Hawkingbird, Izzy/Victoria, &amp; May/Skye's Father  
**Summary:** Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.  
**Warnings:** Angst, canon-typical violence, sexual situations, &amp; swearing.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Author's Notes:** So when Fury makes Phil director he tells him to 'take him time and do it right' which is why the big time jump. I don't think they could get anywhere in a few months even with Tony's help while also staying off the grid and I think Grant needs time in prison so yeah, that's where we are.

_**Two and a half years ago (May 2014)**_

Skye did her best to ignore the knocking on her door but Coulson was persistent.

"Leave me alone," she grumbled miserably.

"I could, but I know a young lady whose favorite ice cream is Americone Dream and would be awfully angry with me if Trip ate it-"

Skye flung her bedroom door open with a gasp. "You didn't? How?" She asked, her eyes lighting up for the first time in two weeks. Coulson held out the pint and a spoon with a smile and she gave him a quick hug before taking them happily. She rushed back to her bed and jumped in happily digging into the ice cream.

Ice cream was one of the few things she'd indulged in back in her van days and she needed the comfort right now. She needed something that felt like home. Plus, she'd been so stressed everything she ate went right into the toilet and man was she starving.

Coulson lingered in the doorway. "May I?"

She nodded as she shoved a huge spoonful into her mouth. Coulson entered and closed the door behind him. Skye made a face as she realized she'd eaten too quickly and now her brain was so cold it was on fire.

"Skye," Coulson said with a sigh and she gave him a pout.

"Not now," she said through a mouthful, eagerly going for more as he sat on the edge of her bed. "How did you guys get real food?"

"Manners," he scolded. She rolled her eyes. It was a little too late for that. "We've gotten hold of other agents, some are on their way, they're willing to stick this through with us, and others are-"

"Stark?"

He nodded. "He's been very generous in offering us help. Agent Hill thought a grocery run would be beneficial so she sent Agent Hunter along with a van-full."

Skye snorted. What the hell kind of name was 'Hunter'?

He gave her a 'look'.

"Right, boss, sorry," she muttered, thankful to have something that wasn't non-perishable. A steak would be amazing right now, come to think of it, and she wasn't even a fan. She was so used to eating things from diners, that held up in her van, and that were bus-friendly that real food was a mystery to her. But man did she want just…everything. She wanted everything.

And she was not eating her feelings, nope, she just needed it. May had been training her twice as hard as-

She scowled and suddenly her ice cream wasn't as appealing as it had been a minute ago and she felt ready to throw it back up.

"Look, Skye, about Ward-"

"No," she whispered angrily. Of course the one happy thing to happen to her since her life had been ripped away from her yet again came with conditions. Why did Grant Ward have to taint every part of her life?

"I'm sorry, Skye, but he refuses to talk. He'll only do it-"

"_No_."

"I know he…" Coulson tried to pat her hand but she drew it away angrily. He sighed. "Skye, I'm sorry, but we need to get as much information out of him as we can-"

"I'm not hungry anymore," she muttered, shoving his bribe into his arms.

"Skye-"

"Please leave," she whispered, hugging her knees to her chest.

She could feel him watching her but she ignored him. A moment later he left her without a word and she angrily threw the first thing she could find against the wall (Ward's ratted copy of _Paradise Lost_) and used her pillow to muffle a scream.

She hated him. She hated this. She hated everything. She wanted nothing more than to feel nothing. But she couldn't. She felt everything. So much it made her sick.

_Then why do you have his things? Why are you wearing his old Academy sweatshirt? Why can't you erase him? _

"I don't know!" She snapped at the voice in her head. A sob escaped her lungs and she curled up around her comforter, clutching a tiny stuffed dog to her chest. It was Ward's. It still smelled like him. Like everything else. She didn't know what had compelled her to take all of his things and hoard them in her bedroom, but she had.

She knew the man she'd fallen in love with was a lie but it didn't make mourning losing him any easier. Once again she'd given a man everything only to have him completely betray her.

She was done. After her shitty childhood she'd tried, hard, to trust people and find love; but Miles? Ward? Her entire life being a lie? She couldn't do it, not anymore. It hurt too much.

Everything just…

She wasn't sure how her tiny body could produce the wail that came out of her but she was now not only in full grief mode but in the middle of a panic attack.

She'd been stupid. So stupid. And he'd…Oh God, just thinking about their last few encounters made her sick to her stomach.

Skye covered her mouth and rushed out of the room she shared with Jemma and made a beeline to the bathroom. She hated that there was only one and- "Oh God, fuck," she muttered as she found the door locked. She turned and found the first thing she could find (a fake plant) and threw up every bit of ice cream she'd inhaled while sobbing.

"I can't do this," she whispered over and over as she fell to the floor, still crying.

She'd tried to throw herself into training and it hadn't worked. She'd tried to shove down her feelings and it only made it hurt more. How was she supposed to get through this when everything reminded her of Ward? Of the people he'd killed? Of the people who had died to keep her safe?

How was she supposed to keep pretending to be fine when the organization that was her family, that had kept her alive, was gone? Coulson could talk about rebuilding all he wanted but they were fugitives. Ghosts. This was too big for them.

"_Are you sure you don't want to-"_

"_No, Trip, he doesn't deserve it," Skye whispered as she stared down at the group from the catwalk. She hadn't known Trip long but for some reason she trusted him (after all he hadn't murdered fellow agents in cold blood and betrayed his grandfather's legacy). _

_She tried not to dwell on Ward's words to her. She'd been wary of May's anger but after that…Well, seeing his broken face didn't hurt her the way it would have yesterday. _

_Skye turned to go anywhere but here. She couldn't look at him anymore and she refused to acknowledge his existence but his eyes met hers for a brief moment and an anger she didn't even know she could possess took over her entire body._

"_Skye? You're shak-"_

"_Get me out of here."_

"_Wha-"_

"_If you don't I will _kill _him."_

"_The only way out of here is down there, Skye, you'll have to-"_

_She shoved past him. "Fine." She was seething. She hadn't hit him hard enough earlier, maybe one more good punch would do him good._

"_Hey, no," Trip whispered as he took hold of her arm. She was now three feet away from him and…_

_She was so _weak_._

"_I will _never_ forgive you; I _hate _you. I hope you rot in prison because hell is too good for you."_

"_Skye, come on-" It was May now but Skye couldn't take her eyes off of him. He'd been angry a moment before but now…good, he deserved his pain because it couldn't be half as bad as what she was feeling. _

_Her heart was broken. This…She'd gotten used to being cast aside by her foster families. That pain was nothing compared to what she felt right now. _

_She watched as they carted him the plane and waited until he was out of her sight to turn and sob into May's chest._

"Shh, baby, it's okay, I've got you," May whispered, echoing the same words she'd said to her two weeks ago.

Skye leaned into her, still crying. "I know I need to do this for the team but I ca-"

"Hush now. You don't have to do anything."

"I can't. I can't…if I see him…"

May pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "He's not going to talk; he just wants to…we can do this without him. He will cave, eventually."

"But Coul-"

"Will get over it. He understands, Skye."

Skye pulled away and wiped at her eyes angrily with her sleeves. "But he's the director now and-"

May took her face in her hands and gave her a very 'mom' look. "You still come first."

Skye glanced away with a nod, embarrassed. She wasn't used to crying in front of people. When you were an orphan you learned how to keep your emotions in check but lately…

"You know, I used to think you didn't like me," Skye whispered as she met May's gaze.

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "I tried not to."

"Why?"

"Aside from you breaking into S.H.I.E.L.D.? And that stunt you pulled with your boyfriend?"

Skye blushed and nodded.

May sighed. "You remind me…let's just say you remind me of a life I could have had."

Skye stared at her in confusion. "What-"

"Come, let's get you cleaned up," May whispered as she helped her to her feet. "My mother has a recipe for nausea, and don't tell Coulson but I know just will help with your appetite."

"Yeah, what's that?"

"Cheeseburgers," May whispered conspiratorially. "By the time everyone else realizes I'm making dinner you'll have already had as many as you want."

Skye smiled and leaned into May, feeling just a little better already. At least with May nothing came with strings attached.

* * *

_**Two and a half years ago (July 2014)**_

"This is your last chance, Skye. I know you're angry and you have every right to be but-"

"I'm sure, old man," Skye said firmly. She wouldn't have any regrets. For the first time in a long time she felt steady. She knew what she had to do and she refused to damage the peace she'd found just so Grant Ward could have closure.

Coulson looked uncomfortable and she sighed. "Just say it."

"He has a right to-"

"He lost that right a long time ago, sir," Jemma piped up. Skye was glad to have her support but she turned to her in surprise. Jemma being away from her lab or Fitz's bedside was rare and Skye hadn't even noticed her sitting in the corner picking at a piece of toast.

"I'm just saying, once Maria's team gets here there won't be another chance. He'll be in a maximum security prison for the rest of his life. Don't you think-"

"Leave it, Phil."

Skye sighed. Great, the last thing she needed was to be in the middle of another one of mom and dad's fights.

"You would be on her-"

"Don't bring your own issues into-"

"Don't you think if he knows that it will make him want to-"

"That's not your choice to make!"

"You know all about making choices, don't you, Melinda?"

"Okay, time out!" Skye yelled, not in the mood. "As much fun as it is being surrounded by liars," May had the decency to look ashamed, "and people who want to buy into Ward's sob story for their own selfish reasons," Coulson looked appalled, "I have better things to do.

I don't need closure. He is going where he belongs. I don't care how tragic his backstory is, he _killed_ people. He tried to murder Fitz and Simmons, he put us all in danger, and I will not tolerate threats to _my family_.

If I go to see him…" She swallowed hard. "That will put my family at risk and sometimes…" She met May's eyes, knowing she'd been hard on her. "Sometimes you have to make hard choices to keep the people you love safe.

I hope he does get help," Skye said sincerely, meeting Coulson's eyes. "I don't want him to suffer but I do want him to pay for his crimes. But that doesn't mean I need to have anything to do with him."

"Skye-"

"Coulson, is he ready to go?"

Skye had never been happier to see the new head of Stark Security. She gave Maria a smile before slipping out of the room. She knew if she stayed…

No. She was stronger than that. She had to be now. This wasn't about her anymore.

She stopped at Fitz's room and watched over him sadly. The steady whir of machinery was a constant reminder of why Grant Ward finally being handed over into federal custody was the right thing to do. She knew Coulson wanted to save everyone but not everyone could be saved.

Fitz was proof of that. Nearly three months and no change. Jemma was falling apart at the seams. She barely ate, barely slept, and Skye knew she blamed herself. There was only one person to blame and he was getting what he deserved.

"Don't worry, kid, things will be alright."

But she wasn't sure she believed it.

* * *

_**Present day (October 2016)**_

"Nice hair."

"Shut it, Fitzy," Skye muttered as she scrunched her nose. She hadn't had bangs since she was five. This was embarrassing; she looked like a child.

Jemma slapped Fitz's arm playfully. "I think you look lovely."

"Not as lovely as you," Fitz whispered as he kissed Jemma's temple and pulled her closer. Jemma giggled as he moved to her neck and Skye rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, Jem," Skye replied dryly, too wound-up and antsy to find their behavior cute today. She crossed her arms with a sigh; she couldn't believe she'd agreed to do this.

"_How many times have I told-"_

"_We need him!"_

"_No, you think we-"_

"_Skye, we need someone who can infiltrate Hydra! If they think he's escaped of his own volition-"_

"_What they'll welcome him back with open arms? Is that it?"_

"_We need to finish eliminating them as a threat! We have them on all sides! Hydra, the escaped convicts from the Fridge, your fa-"_

"Don't_ call him that," Skye whispered darkly. _

_He met her eyes regretfully. "I'm sorry, Skye, but with him out there…I will do whatever I have to do to keep you safe. I think you more than anyone understands that feeling."_

"_That doesn't mean you go running to Ward! And I can keep myself safe!"_

"_It's not just about you anymore, Skye."_

God she hated when he was right.

"Who butchered Skye's hair?"

Skye glared in Trip's direction, not in the mood. "Did you have fun on your little date?"

"I wasn't aware recon duty was considered romantic," Trip teased as he ruffled her hair, "but considering your idea of romance is falling love with dirty, rotten murder-"

"Children, please; no need to fight over me," their new arrival announced by kissing the top of Skye's head.

"Shut up, Lance," Skye growled. His beard tickled her chin and it annoyed her that he and Trip were so much taller than she was. She was sick of being used as a leaning post for them and treated like a child. She was not the child here, she thought bitterly as she glared at them. They were the biggest pair of overgrown, whiny man-children she'd ever seen.

"Who shoved a stick up Skye's ass?"

"The only one who has things up their ass is you," Trip teased.

She rolled her eyes and moved to the cupboard in need of something to put in her mouth before she punched someone in theirs.

"Yeah, I think we both know that's not true, mate."

"Oy, I'm trying to eat a sandwich! When a lady makes you a sandwich you don't need to hear about dicks in people's arses!"

"Stop! All three of you! You're all children!" Jemma scolded. "Besides, Lance, you can't blame her for being a tad bit uptight today. After all…Well, you _know_."

"No matter how low you whisper, Jem, I can hear you!"

Jemma sighed but it was Fitz who spoke. "I know it's hard, Skye. I don't want him here either but if it keeps-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." She caught Lance watching her critically and she groaned. "It's just hair!"

"I know but it's like you're a new person; I barely recognize you."

Skye snorted. "Yeah, think I'd be able to fool my own mother?"

"Dammit where is-" May froze as she entered the room and blinked in surprise. "Skye?"

She smiled sheepishly with a shrug. "What do you think? Do I pass for Special Agent Serinda May?"

"It's…I wish we weren't fugitives so I could send her a picture, it's…wow."

Skye shrugged it off. She didn't think the resemblance was that close. In fact her baby sister looked a lot more like a younger, carefree version of May.

"Come, Fitz, it's time for physical therapy."

Fitz groaned. "Jemma, I don't-I still have half my sandwich left!"

Jemma gave him a hard stare. "If I hear one complaint from you, Leopold Fitz, you'll be sleeping alone for the next week, got it?"

"I'll just take this, then," Trip announced, taking the rest of Fitz's sandwich.

When Fitz began to whine Jemma gave him the death stare again. His mouth opened like a fish and he stammered for a full thirty seconds before growling with a stomp of his foot. "Fine," he complained as he headed out of the kitchen. "But I want you to do that thing you don't like to do!"

"In his dreams," Jemma muttered as she reached for a cookie.

"I heard that!"

"Good! Because I'm not doing it!"

"You should do it more, it's rather enjoyable," Lance teased with a wink.

Jemma scoffed with a roll of her eyes and left the room without dignifying his words with a response.

"You guys are terrible," Skye scolded.

"Oh come on, she can behave as prim and proper as she wants but you don't have to share a wall with-" Trip gave his sometimes lover a shake of the head and he sighed. "Fine, take their side as always. Sometimes I think you should be fucking them instead."

Trip rolled his eyes. "Come on, we've been sitting in a damn van for days; I need a shower."

"So? Go? Why do you need me to-" Trip gave him a 'look'. "Oh, right. See you later, ladies."

Now it was May's turn to roll her eyes (Lance had that effect on people). "Idiots."

"Yeah," Skye whispered sadly. She didn't know how but they'd all somehow found a way to be happy again, even with everything being stacked against them. She was terrified of ruining that.

"Hey, I know…You're incredibly brave, Skye; you can do this."

May gave her arms a squeeze and Skye nodded.

"I know but…I don't have a good feeling about this."

May reached up and ran her fingers over Skye's new hair. "Don't worry, baby girl, we're all here for you. Nothing bad will happen without one hell of a fight from us."

"You're right, I know, it's just-"

"You worry."

Skye nodded and May pulled her against her chest. Skye wrapped her arms around May's middle, hugging her back tightly.

"I know you do, baby; I do the same thing when it's you."

"So you're not the only one who has a stomach filled with knots right now?"

"Nope."

Skye closed her eyes, glad she wasn't alone. After a long moment she sighed and pulled away. "So…ready to break our ex-boyfriend out of prison?"

May groaned. "I will give you one-hundred dollars if you never call him that again."

"Deal," Skye replied with a smirk.


	3. (Grant) It's Probably What's Best

**Title: **Fix a Heart  
**Chapter 03:** (Grant) It's Probably What's Best for You  
**Author:** snarkysweetness  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters:** Team Bus, Team Playground, Team Avengers, etc.  
**Pairings:** Skyeward, Fitzsimmons, Philinda, Triphunter, Huntingbird, Clintasha, &amp; Pepperony with past Hawkingbird, Izzy/Victoria, &amp; May/Skye's Father  
**Summary:** Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.  
**Warnings:** Angst, canon-typical violence, sexual situations, &amp; swearing.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Author's Notes:** As you can see I'm only giving you pieces to solve the puzzle. See what I did there?

_**Two and a half years ago (April 2014)**_

"_And you've got the rest of your life to wrestle with the question: who are you without him?"_

Grant hated to admit it but Coulson had a point.

He'd spent the past few hours pondering his question and he had come up with nothing. His life had been about surviving until John had saved him. Then it had become about helping John survive. He owed John everything. He had guided him, raised him, given him a purpose, and now he had no one.

John was dead and Skye hated him and he had nothing left to live for.

She'd been the one good thing in his life, the one thing he'd found on his own, and now she absolutely loathed him.

There was nothing left for him; _nothing_.

He felt dead and hollow inside but he continued to put on a brave face, refusing to be seen as weak.

But he was weak. He wished May had killed him; it was what he would have done. And death seemed peaceful. Easy. Quiet. He'd prefer death to rotting away in a prison cell.

And if he died there would be no one to mourn him.

What a waste his life had been.

The only good thing in his life had been Skye and he'd…he felt sick to his stomach. And if he felt this way…He didn't know what had come over him. He was a monster. A monster who wanted to bring her down to his level; he was sick. She deserved better.

He wished he would die; then she could be truly free of him. He owed her that much.

God, he loved her.

She was the one bright spot in the black hole that was his life. He wished he could have been better. Been the man she deserved. But he wasn't. He was nothing.

"Take him to a cell and leave him there until he decides to talk. He'll crack after a few days." Coulson was still pissed.

Grant avoided him and glanced up for a fleeting moment and was met with Skye. She stared down at him angrily and he was too weak to look away. She began to shake and…he closed his eyes. This was his fault. He'd done this.

When he opened his eyes she was coming at him fast and she looked ready to hit him. Good. He deserved it. He'd take a hundred beatings at her hand if he had to; anything to make things right. But she didn't hit him; instead Trip restrained her but she was close enough that he could feel her pain and anger radiating off of her.

"I will _never_ forgive you; I _hate_ you. I hope you rot in prison because hell is too good for you." She spat, wounding him with only a few words. He deserved every ounce of hate she sent his way but it didn't stop it from hurting.

He wished he could reach out but it was May who was there to comfort her.

He was the reason she was in pain.

He was going to be sick.

* * *

_**Two and a half years ago (May 2014)**_

"I'm sorry, Grant, she…" Coulson slid a plate forward and gave him a regretful look. "She's not ready."

"Not hungry," Grant muttered, still refusing to speak in full sentences. Unless he could see her, unless he could apologize, to try to make her understand so maybe, just maybe, he could fix things enough that she could move on and be happy then he didn't want to talk.

"You have to eat something."

"What happened to 'torture'?"

He knew Coulson didn't have the stones to follow through with his threats.

Coulson didn't blink an eye. "I dug around, read the parts of your file that weren't included in your assessment for the team. Skye was smart enough to back up everything, for when we're ready to stop running." He leaned forward and forced Grant to meet his eyes. "I'm not entirely convinced you're as bad as you think you are."

Grant simply blinked back. He wasn't going to play these games with him. "I want to see her."

Coulson sat back in his chair with a sigh. "And if she doesn't come around?"

Grant shrugged.

"I want that plate empty when I come back."

They both knew it wouldn't be.

* * *

_**Two and a half years ago (July 2014)**_

"She's not coming?"

He knew that look. He was used to it. He just wasn't expecting to see it today. He knew she didn't owe him anything, let alone a goodbye, but he missed her.

"I'm sorry."

"Come on, Ward, there's a lovely cell at Pelican Bay waiting for you."

He ignored Hill, accompanied by Talbot, and kept his eyes on Coulson.

"I really am sorry."

And he believed him. "I know."

* * *

_**Two years ago (December 2014)**_

"_You've spent your whole life following someone else's lead. Who are you, Grant? What do you want?"_

He'd been locked away in this hellhole for five months and he still didn't have an answer for his therapist.

"You've stopped eating again. Do you want us to have to put you back on a tube? Do you remember how unpleasant that was?"

"Don't care."

She crossed her legs with a sigh. "You can't starve yourself to death; it's not going to do anyone any good."

"Neither is keeping me alive."

"So, we're back to this again?"

He was done talking.

* * *

_**One and a half years ago (March 2015)**_

A new prison. A new cell. A new therapist.

And he still had no fucking clue who he was.

But he knew what he wanted. Or rather who.

He still wanted to die.

* * *

_**One year ago (September 2015)**_

"You shaved."

"I want to look nice for her."

"Has she answered your letter?"

"No."

"But you're hopeful?"

He shrugged, unsure.

"Well, it's something."

"Yeah, it is."

* * *

_**One year ago (October 2015)**_

He sat in the corner of his cell, on the floor, sobbing.

Her name was the only thing that emerged from his lips, like a prayer. A prayer of pain. What had he done?

"Skye, Skye, Skye."

Who in the hell had he become?

* * *

_**One year ago (October 2015)**_

His therapist called it a vitamin B deficiency due to his new hunger strike. He called it going out of his fucking mind.

He saw her everywhere. When he was let out for his walks. In his sleep. In his cell.

She was haunting him.

They'd thrown him into a padded cell 'for his safety' but it hadn't helped. Their drug cocktails didn't help. The force feeding didn't help.

She was his goddamn ghost of sins past and he wanted so desperately for her to be real.

He'd sent so many pleas for her to come, tried to write her letters explaining why he'd done what he'd done, but they'd all been returned. He'd burned the lot of them and then spent a week in SHU.

She was never going to come. All he had were his delusions.

* * *

_**Eleven months ago (November 2015)**_

He began to live for his hallucinations.

Fuck, he needed help.

* * *

_**Two months ago (August 2016)**_

"No one."

His therapist, his fifth, glanced up in surprise. He was in a new prison; somewhere back in California, but it didn't matter. This was his life now, he'd come to accept it. Moved every few months to prevent being 'comfortable'. Always kept in solitary. He was a national security threat. Considering everything he'd done, he knew it could be worse.

Coulson had found a way to convince them he needed help. These therapy sessions had been forced on him. It wasn't until he realized John had simply replaced his brother that he began to take it seriously.

He'd fucked up so much and he was still broken but he wanted not to be.

It was the least he could do for her. Even if she'd never know, he had to do this for her.

"What?"

"I'm no one. You all keep…I'm no one."

"What do you mean, Grant?"

"My whole life I've been that scared kid who couldn't stick up to his big brother. And now…I don't know who I am. I guess I'm no one."

His therapist closed his binder. "Well, now we're getting somewhere."

* * *

_**Present day (October 2016)**_

Grant sat in shock as he stared at her. He blinked repeatedly. This had to be another hallucination. She couldn't really…He felt tears in his eyes as he struggled to grasp for reality. He closed his eyes and tried to fight off her image but when he opened them there she was, still staring away from him.

He'd dreamt of her coming to see him for so long…but he never thought…

Why did it have to be now? He'd been doing so well. He didn't have the answers he'd been looking for yet but he hoped to someday. He was still damaged but he was piecing himself back together. He wanted her to see the end result, to see the man who could someday be worthy of her, not this shattered mess.

She was still as beautiful as he remembered and God, he still loved her.

"Sk…Skye? Is…" He struggled to find his voice but this was her. He could smell that faint body mist she was so fond of and she looked different. Different meant it was her. If she'd looked the same...

"Sweetheart? Is that you? You're really here?"

He didn't even care that he was about to cry. His therapist insisted expressing his emotions was healthy. And if there was anyone he trusted to see him like this it was her. He knew now love wasn't weakness, it was strength, and she made him want to be strong.

"Shh, it's me," she hissed as she turned her head slightly. She averted her eyes but he could see her now. She was _older_; she'd changed the hair, her clothes, she held herself in a stiffer manner, and she was…hard was the only way he could describe it. This wasn't the spirited girl he'd fallen in love with. She was just as broken as he was and he knew he was to blame.

And there was something else, something he couldn't identify, but…

He stood, drawn to her like a damn moth to a flame, even after all these years.

Grant avoided the flickering lights and very slowly approached her, not wanting to spook her, but still needed to assure himself she was real. He didn't trust himself not to imagine all of this.

When she jumped back from him he knew he deserved it but it didn't stop the pain he felt. He hadn't meant to…

"Sk-Skye?"

"I need your help," she said cutting right to the chase.

He nodded. He'd do anything for her; _anything_, which terrified him. There were so many things he never wanted to be forced to do again. But for her? He'd go straight into the pits of Hell if she asked him to.

"You said once…you'd found things out about me? And when Coulson…he said it was about my parents and that you would only tell me?"

He opened his mouth and then closed it. Right, she hadn't read his letters…

"Skye, I'm-"

"I don't care. There are only three things I want to know: everything about my parents, if you still have contacts within Hydra, and if you're committed to proving you can change."

He nodded once more. He'd tell her anything she wanted. And…he _had_ changed. Maybe not enough for her but he was trying.

"Tomorrow, noon; I'd recommend staying away from the outer wall of your cell, unless you want to get blown up, in which case, be my guest."

He flinched at that. He deserved it.

But he couldn't let her leave yet. "What-wait! I need to tell you-"

"There's no time, tomorrow."

"Skye!" He called desperately. He had to tell her…just _once_. He'd missed his chance and he needed to do this for his recovery and because if they were going to work together she needed to understand.

"No." He could hear the pain in her voice but he continued anyway, he couldn't let her leave without knowing. She had the right to know, before she broke him out of here; it could very well be a deal breaker.

"Skye, I still-" She disappeared and the door slammed behind her. "Love you," he finished weakly as he fell back into his chair.

"I still love you."


	4. (Grant) I Only Want What's Best for You

**Title: **Fix a Heart  
**Chapter 04:** (Grant) I Only Want What's Best for You  
**Author:** snarkysweetness  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters:** Team Bus, Team Playground, Team Avengers, etc.  
**Pairings:** Skyeward, Fitzsimmons, Philinda, Triphunter, Huntingbird, Clintasha, &amp; Pepperony with past Hawkingbird, Izzy/Victoria, &amp; May/Skye's Father  
**Summary:** Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.  
**Warnings:** Angst, canon-typical violence, sexual situations, &amp; swearing.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Author's Notes:** I'm very sorry it's taken so long to update but this chapter had to be perfect because it sets up the entire rest of this story and I'm a perfectionist. I've literally written entire sections of this at least five times and the entire thing once. Anyway, here it is finally and it's a very lengthy chapter which I hope makes up for the wait. I also fell in love with Mack and Idaho so I had to find ways to work them in along with a few small tidbits from spoilers and things we've already seen this season that I thought fit with this and I wanted to work in. So, here it is, I'm very sorry for the emotional rollercoaster but most of you did quite literally ask for it. And no matter what you think is happening, read until the end because I guarantee you're wrong.

Grant didn't know what he'd been expecting but it sure as hell wasn't the half-assed explosion that only took out part of the prison wall. He furrowed his brows and glanced out of his tiny cell window. He knew Skye; her bombs were some of the best he'd ever seen (which had always made him question how she knew _how_ to make them so well) so he caught on quickly that her bomb was meant to be a diversion. His suspicions were confirmed when the alarms sounded for a lock-down and the guards rushed past, headed for the prison yard.

"Babe, what in the hell are you up to?" He muttered as he continued his watch for her while clutching the small pillowcase filled with his few meager possessions.

He tapped his foot and glanced to the hole in the wall. Had he read this situation wrong? Was he expected to climb through that?

No, that was stu- "Holy shit," he whispered as he caught sight of Skye sliding down rope on a harness from the duct system in the hallway. She was…This was really not the appropriate time to be thinking the thoughts running through his mind.

"Stand back," she called and he jumped backwards. A moment later a small explosion sounded as the lock to his door was blown off. "Hurry!"

Grant slipped into the hallway and caught the harness that she threw his way.

"Follow me up and to the left; there's an opening that goes up to the roof. We have about two minutes before we get shot at so try not to get me killed," she said before disappearing through the ceiling.

Grant sighed. He was really going to do this, wasn't he?

Fucking A.

He followed her and moments later they were rushing across the roof to a waiting helicopter. And sure enough, as they jumped in there was gunfire.

"This is the worst prison escape of all time!" He'd fallen in love with a lunatic.

"Yeah? Well let's see what you could pull off while living underground and on the run from the law, asshole!" Skye spat back as she threw her gear in and jumped into the 'copter.

"Children, enough; you can argue later. You know, when the men with guns aren't shooting at us!" Trip called as he held out a hand to help Grant in. Grant gave Trip a quick 'thanks' before buckling in. Trip slammed the door shut and they were off.

"Wait, who's flying the-"

"Next time I'm not breaking into the prison and flying the getaway car," Skye muttered from the pilot's seat.

"Holy crap," Grant muttered. She'd looked damn fine in her tactical gear and hoodie but now…_wow_. And it wasn't just because he'd been living surrounded by men for nearly three years either. She had somehow gotten more beautiful than he remembered.

"Dude, don't let her catch on to how turned on you are, she might shoot you in the dick," Trip whispered. "Trust me, she came this close once," he muttered motioning with his fingers. "And I was only kidding."

His…Grant snorted. "Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it." Though, hadn't he already? She was different and it had been a long time. Maybe she wasn't the same person anymore.

"Your funeral," Trip warned before moving into his own seat.

"What are you bitching about? You weren't the one up all night staking this place out. Next time if you want me to fly the damn helicopter you can send someone else!"

Skye snorted. "Oh yeah, because we have so many agents to pick from with you playing around with everyone Maria poached at Stark Industries while everyone else is in hiding or in prison or working for Hydra."

Were things really that bad?

"Yeah, yeah; you're lucky I owed you a favor."

Skye laughed but not in the beautiful way he remembered. No, this was more a 'shut up before I punch you in the dick' laugh.

Grant's head was spinning.

Twenty minutes later they landed in an old abandoned airfield that looked like the last time it had been in use was during the S.S.R. days. From there they got in a black, unmarked SUV and drove another hour through the middle of nowhere.

Grant said nothing the entire ride. He just listened to Skye and Trip bicker over everything right down to the songs on the radio. It was beginning to make him feel uncomfortable. By the time they drove into an underground bunker to park the car he was relieved to get the hell out of there.

He didn't want to make assumptions but he was almost positive Skye had moved on and while he wanted her to be happy he didn't need to witness it; especially not if it was with Trip the boy scout who was everything Grant could never be.

For the first time since agreeing to this he realized what a mistake this was. Sure, he knew he didn't want to be here. He wanted to pay for his crimes and he didn't owe S.H.I.E.L.D. anything; but he'd come for her. Because he still loved her. Because her happiness mattered more to him than his own and if he could keep her safe then it would be worth it.

But it had never occurred to him that she'd have a new life.

He was an idiot.

Skye and Trip both flashed their lanyards for a scanner and kept them up as they barged into the base.

Grant followed numbly. "So what are we-"

He froze as they flashed their lanyards to-_No_.

"You guys can deal with him, we have things to do," Skye instructed as a second Koenig emerged.

Grant blinked and opened his mouth and… "Skye?" But she was gone and he was left along with…He was going to be sick.

"You must be Agent Ward. You can just step this way. The director will be on his way down shortly. We have a few protocols to go through but then we'll get you all set up with a lanyard," the first Koenig instructed.

"Oh, I'm sure he's all-too-familiar with the protocols," said the second.

The first groaned. "Sam, what did I tell-"

"He killed Eric."

"I know that, but-"

Grant had to grab hold of the wall and take deep breaths. When his therapist had gone over being forced to face his actions this wasn't what he had in mind. He was going to be sick. There were…Who in the hell had thought it was a good idea to have the brothers of the man he'd killed be his welcoming party?

"Billy, Sam, what are you doing to Agent Ward?"

"Not an agent," Grant muttered as he glanced up to find Coulson watching him with May flanking a few feet behind. Great, could this day get any better?

"See, you've made him uncomfortable. I'm sorry about him, he lacks tact. Come this way, we'll get your lie detector test out of the way first."

Grant hesitated for a moment and then nodded. If anyone had the right to be upset here it wasn't him.

"I'm Billy, by the way."

Grant nodded numbly and followed him quietly as Billy rambled on about lanyards and the base and all of this was eerily familiar.

Once he was strapped in Billy stood at the machinery while Sam stayed close to make sure he wasn't employing any tricks to beat the test. Meanwhile Coulson and May stood in the back of the room watching him.

"What is your full name?"

Oh yeah, very familiar.

"Sir?" Billy glanced over at Coulson once he'd gotten the basics out of the way.

"Grant, I'm sorry about this, but we have to."

"What-ow!" And for the second time in his life he was unknowingly injected with a truth serum.

May smirked. "Should have gone for the throat, Phil."

Coulson ignored her and met Grant's eyes regretfully. "Like I said, we have to. Give it a few minutes to kick in and then we'll resume."

"I should have known you bastards only broke me out to torture me," Grant muttered bitterly, feeling dizzy and sore where the needle had pierced his arm.

"I think he's good to go, Phil," May quipped with a grin.

Coulson shot her a 'look'. "Try to look less pleased, Melinda."

"Not happening."

"God, can the two of you fuck already? The bickering's old."

May was still smirking. "You know, for a murderous bastard, he's amusing when he's high."

"Now is not the ti-"

"Why are you here?" Billy interrupted, deciding to get on with this interrogation.

"Because you brought me here," Grant sassed. No amount of drugs in this world would make him endure this with a smile on his face.

Coulson smirked in May's direction before stepping closer, his attention on Grant. "I think what he means, Grant, is why did you agree to come?"

Grant glanced up and met Coulson's eyes. "You know why," he said evenly, not in the mood to discuss his feelings. Not about her. Not here. Not to anyone but Skye herself.

"No. I don't. I haven't seen or spoken to you in over two years. I don't know who you are anymore or why you would want to help us. And before we can allow you to be around our agents, to live on our base, before we decide to trust you in our home we need to know why you agreed to come here."

"It sure as hell isn't for you."

"Then why?"

Coulson kept his eyes on Grant's and after a moment he had to look away, unable to stand the intensity of his gaze. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on a wall of surveillance equipment. On one of the monitors Skye stood in the kitchen with Jemma and he sighed dreamily as every ounce of resistance left in him faded; Coulson's truth serum was good.

"I told you; he's here for her," May muttered in a sharp tone. She uncrossed her arms and glared at Coulson angrily.

Coulson avoided her and stared down at Grant. "Ward," he said, firmly this time. "Why are you here? If you don't answer me I'd be happy to give Colonel Talbot a call; rumor has it he works for you brother these days. Did you know he'd been elected senator?"

Using his family to coerce him, that was…well, it was impressive, actually. Garrett would have done worse. He continued to watch Skye for a long moment before slowly turning his gaze to the director. "Skye," he answered finally. This was useless, they all knew why he was here but if Coulson needed to hear him say it, fine. He had nothing to hide; not anymore.

"I'm here for Skye," he repeated evenly. "I am not loyal to you or to S.H.I.E.L.D. I am not here to make amends or to be your good little soldier. I have no interest in any of this; I never did. I was only ever in S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra for John, because he saved me and I owed him a debt.

I'm sorry for what I did but I can't change the past," he spared both Koenig's a remorseful look, knowing they were due better than some crap apology from him. "I deserved to be locked in prison and I'd much rather be there than be here working for you but if Skye needs my help, then I'm in. I owe her that much."

He met Coulson's gaze once more. "And she does, right? That's why I'm here? She's in danger, isn't she?" He was so worried. For them to have come to him for help they had to be desperate. He just wanted to keep her safe.

She was the only thing left in this world that he still loved; he needed her to be okay.

"We'll ask the questions, Ward," May snapped.

Coulson crossed his arms and gave her another 'look'. They argued for a moment using only their stares until she rolled her eyes in defeat. Coulson turned back to him with a sigh.

Those two were fucking frightening as a pair.

"We have a few more questions, Grant, and then you can ask yours, deal?"

"Fine." It wasn't but if he hoped to find out anything he'd have to keep playing along. Besides, he was too damn exhausted to fight off the dizzying feeling of the drug in his system. He'd be asleep soon and he wanted his questions answered before that happened.

"We need to know everything you know about Skye's parents."

May shifted uncomfortably and leaned into Coulson. "Father," she muttered but he ignored her.

Grant closed his eyes, already feeling the urge to sleep; shit, that sodium pentothal was strong.

"I um…" He opened them as a vivid image of the massacre came to him. "Her parents…they murdered that village looking for her. S.H.I.E.L.D. took her not long after she was born. I'm not sure why but they hid her in China to keep her safe. They tracked the team down and…they killed everyone. The agents assigned to keep her safe, the villagers; an agent managed to get her away before they could find her and when a new team arrived they found her in the dead agents arms, covered in blood." That last part Skye had told him herself, but he wasn't sure what she'd shared with them so he was going to tell them everything he knew.

The elder agents exchanged a worried glance. It was May who spoke up first, her voice on the verge of breaking. "What do you mean they were looking for her? Was it…" Coulson took May's hand and gave it a squeeze before linking their fingers together. Grant could see her composure wavering but Coulson seemed to steady her. After a moment she found her voice again and released Coulson's hand. "Were they planning to kill her too?"

Something felt off about this line of questioning but if it helped Skye then he wouldn't try to stay quiet. "I'm not entirely sure. Raina studied Skye's D.N.A. on the flash drive. Her genetic material matched that of a girl she'd studied once before and she told me a story about a pair of monsters that tore apart a village in China searching for that baby. And when I asked if the monsters also killed the baby's parents…" Grant still remembered how sick hearing the story had made him feel. Skye…he didn't want her to know any of this; she deserved better. She didn't need this pain. But she already knew part of the story and he knew his girl wouldn't stop until she had her answers.

He took a deep breath. "The monsters were the baby's parents."

The Koenigs shared a glance, and between May and Coulson Grant was sure there would be vomit in the trashcan.

"Did she say anything else?" May asked.

This was the part that he didn't want to talk about, the part that made him sick. He'd been so lost back then, so easily manipulated. There was nothing he could do that would make up for what he'd wanted to do to her.

"She…claims that a darkness lies within Skye, that she and Garrett both saw her future. She believes that she can awaken that darkness and when she does Skye will become something divine; a monster, like her parents."

_You could be monsters together. _

The fact that he'd entertained the idea of taking her to her father so she could be destroyed, be brought down to his level, so he could finally be worthy of her, so they could be together…he closed his eyes and fought off the urge to cry and vomit.

"What…" May met Coulson's eyes and he pulled her closer. It was only a brief second but he caught her hands shaking. May was terrified. He'd never seen her look anything but completely composed or angry.

Before he could ask what was going on Coulson spoke. "What did she mean by 'darkness'?"

Grant shrugged. "I don't know, she was talking crazy, like Garrett, but she did tell me something else." He looked between the two agents and finally settled on Coulson. "Skye's father is alive; he's been looking for her. S.H.I.E.L.D. was right to keep her hidden, he never stopped hunting her." Neither of them looked surprised and he suddenly knew; Skye really was in danger. "Raina went to him, didn't she? Is he after Skye? Did he find her? Please, tell me something! I've done everything you've asked."

"I'm sorry, we have a few more question-"

"Stop coddling him, Phillip! Now is not the time!" May pulled away from him and rounded on Grant so she was staring down at him angrily. "Skye is in danger and unfortunately you're the only person with any answers since everyone else who may have them is working for Hydra."

"Melinda-"

"No, he needs to know. This isn't a game!" May and Coulson were toe-to-toe now and they both looked pissed. "I am not losing her again! Not to him! Not to anyone!"

"Well, Melinda, maybe next time don't marry a psychopa-"

"Don't you dare blame me for this!" She hissed and Grant was very, very afraid for Coulson. Melinda May could kill a man with her pinkie and she looked ready to destroy him.

And oh God his head was pounding and it was so heavy…

"Those experiments-"

"Stop-"

"Want to wager they were to bring out her 'darkness'? Ward just said it; he thinks she's a monster like him. Hell, like you. Isn't that what you used to call yourself, Melinda? Maybe he just wanted her to join the family busine-"

"Skye's my angel, she's not a monster," Grant mumbled as his head fell against his chest. "My angel. My Skye. Love her so much…"

May fell to his feet and helped him by lifting his head. She inspected him but all he could see were stars where her face should be. He reached out to try and touch one but his hand fell limp in his lap and he giggled. The stars were so pretty.

"Goddammit, Phil, how much was in that dose you gave him?"

Coulson rounded on the Koenigs and shot one of them, Sam maybe, a glare. "It was supposed to be a normal dosage."

Sam shrugged. "I may have upped it a little-"

Billy groaned. "Why are you such a little shi-"

"Out! Both of you!" May ordered. They looked at Coulson for orders but she yelled at them again and Coulson nodded. May ran a hand over her face with a groan and helped Grant out of the chair. "Come on, we're going to walk and talk, okay? Give him some water; he's not dying on our watch."

Everything after was a blur. May forced him to drink a bottle of water and kept him moving until finally he collapsed into a chair in the corner. He rested his cheek against the cool brick wall, thinking the only thing that had ever felt so good on his skin was Skye's touch. "I want to sleep," he mumbled, feeling himself begin to drift off, his entire body heavy.

"Not yet-Skye! I need your help with Skye."

That perked him up. Grant blinked and forced himself to stay awake.

"I'll do anything for Skye."

May gave him a sad look, like she understood, and handed him a second bottle of water. "I need to know everything you may know about Dr. Seamus MacDougal. He was-is," she corrected, "a doctor who worked for Hydra around twenty-eight years ago. Do you know of him?"

Grant scrunched his nose in disgust. "He's a bad man."

"This is ironic coming from a man who killed four agents, tried to kill three of his teammates, and kidnapped a woman he claims to love," May muttered as she glanced back at Coulson who was now pacing in the small room.

"No," Grant moaned, still trying to fight off the effects of the drug. "He's a bad, _bad_ man. I've done some bad things and I know John wasn't…uh…" Grant blinked. "What was I saying?"

Coulson pinched the bridge of his nose. "My God, Koenig's rendered him useless."

"Oh, right! John!

John didn't trust him," Grant said with a nod, remembering.

"He ran experiments back in the eighties. He created the machine John used on you, sir, and on Raina. It…I don't know, unlocks memories? And there was another, one that brainwashed individuals who needed an extra push." It all sounded so horrifying now that he could see everything with clarity.

May's face fell. "And?"

"He left Hydra because they weren't extreme enough for him. Their vision was more on world domination and he claimed he wanted to unlock the secrets to evolution so he helped found Project Centipede in the nineties after Cybertek failed to perfect the Deathlok program."

Grant took a sip of water and blinked a few times to clear his head. "After a few years John stopped trusting him, said he took things too far. His hobby was kidnapping gifteds so he could run experiments on them. He wanted to duplicate their powers and learn how to control them. He had a vision of creating a 'master race' of individuals with powers.

It was fucking terrifying."

Coulson froze and stared at him in horror and May turned a shade of green.

"What does this doctor have to do with Skye?" Something nagged at the back of his mind but he was too high to focus in on it. Doctor. Skye. China. Her fath-Grant shot out of his chair, suddenly alert. "He can't go anywhere near her! Hydra is dangerous but he's on a whole different level. He will take Skye apart like a machine, open her up and play around until he twists her into a monster; an _actual_ monster."

His voice was high and he was close to hysterics at the thought of that man getting his hands on Skye…He could actually feel his blood boiling.

"John told me once that the doctor was born with powers but they weren't as 'great' as he wanted them to be so he began trying to take them from others and when that didn't work he decided to use others with powers to his advantages by controlling them."

A wave of nausea washed through him and he had to take a seat before he fell to the ground. "The people we broke out of the Fridge…oh _God_." He buried his head in his hands. There was no undoing all of the terrible things he'd done, no matter how hard he tried.

"We've been working on rounding them up but Hydra has gotten to most of them."

Grant knew full well how Hydra operated. Those who didn't come willingly were brainwashed into submission or killed. He'd fucked up more than he'd realized.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, knowing it didn't fix anything, but it didn't change the fact that he was.

He glanced up, the effects of the sodium pentothal wearing off. The pieces were beginning to fall into place. "MacDougal's her father, isn't he?" May's lips formed a fine line but he wasn't done with the questions. Everything made sense now, including her and Coulson's fight and why she was so concerned for Skye's well-being. "And you're her mother." He didn't know how, Raina…it didn't matter what she'd said; from the look on Coulson's face he knew he was right.

"We're done here," May replied coldly. Whatever concern she'd had for him was now gone; she was back to being the May he remembered. She exited the room without a word, leaving him alone with Coulson.

"Sir-"

"Thank you for the information, it's…Well, it explains a few things."

Grant opened his mouth but Coulson stopped him. "We need anything you can give us on Hydra. How they operate, secret channels, contacts, anything. We may even need you to infiltrate them if necessary; our past attempts have been mildly successful but not good enough. We have a few friends in the government who have been helping but we're still in hiding. We're not as effective as I'd like us to be and I'm hoping you can help with that. Hydra keeps poaching talent and gathering up those on the index. I'm done with this war, I want to destroy them; do you understand?"

Grant nodded.

"Good. Are you in, Grant? No one is forcing you to be here. All it would take is a few favors and you could be back in prison, serving time under your assumed name as if nothing had happened."

"But?" He knew full well something else was going on, he wasn't stupid.

"Your brother found you. I can't guarantee your safety if you return to prison." As if he cared about his own safety. "It was difficult to get you into the system the first time and to keep you moved around; especially considering your family is so powerful. I don't think we can keep you off their radar this time."

Grant knew damn well how powerful his family was and they were an issue for another day. Right now he wanted to make things right, to keep the woman he loved safe; everything else could be shelved for later.

"I'm here; you might as well put me to work. I'll do whatever I can to fix the damage I've caused."

Coulson nodded. "Good.

I'm not going to lie to you, Grant, you being here…" Coulson sighed in resignation. "No one agrees with me. You hurt a lot of people here, and the ones you didn't affect personally will be wary of you because of your ties to Hydra. It won't be easy but you've made a lot of progress and I think you can make more."

"Why? I mean…once you were over your initial anger you were willing to give me another chance. Why?" That question had been lingering in the back of his mind for over two years.

Coulson smiled. "I know a girl and when I met her-well, your ledger may be stained red but hers was bleeding with it when she was brought to me. Somehow she found a way to repair what she'd done, to live with her past, and to move on to do great things.

No one is hopeless, Grant, not even you. We all deserve a second chance. Every person is worth saving if they're willing to do the work, and I think you are. Besides, I'm a sucker for a comeback story," he said with a shrug.

Grant glanced down at his lap with a nod, having no words. He didn't deserve Coulson's kindness but that was who Coulson was; the opposite of John.

"Oh, but Grant?"

He looked up to find Coulson near the door watching him. "I want to get one thing straight; if you hurt anyone on this team again, I will make sure you're locked away in the dirtiest hole I can find where you will spend your very long life suffering. And as a condition of your stay here you will personally apologize to everyone you hurt, including Agent Hand's team. Also, we will be monitoring your every move," he motioned to the table where a box sat.

Grant stood, already knowing what he'd find inside. He popped it open to find a silver ring version of the bracelet Skye had once been tagged with. So, they'd improved it.

"Let me guess, if I try to remove it-"

"A thousand units of detrotoxin will be injected into your bloodstream and when you wake up you'll be in one of the vaults downstairs."

He nodded and slipped it onto his finger. He hissed when a small needle poked him and then disappeared back into the band.

"Now you're tagged. Once I feel you're not a threat, you'll be free to come and go as you please."

"Thank you, sir, I…" he glanced up to meet his eyes. "Thank you."

Coulson held the door open and led Grant into the hallway. "I'm afraid we're out of single bunks so you'll be sharing a room with Agent Hunter-"

"The commander of S.T.R.I.K.E., sir?"

"So, you've met?"

"No but I've heard of him, anyone who can tame Barton and Romanoff has my respect."

Coulson snorted. "You don't actually think those two ever followed his orders, do you?"

Okay, maybe not. That would explain why they had their own two-person S.T.R.I.K.E. team.

"No," he replied dumbly.

"Good. I'll show you to the common area and you can poke around if you'd like. It's past dinner time but feel free to stop by the kitchen and I'll have Agent Hunter track you down and show you to your room." Coulson stopped outside of a room where Grant could see a few familiar faces and his palms began to grow warm and clammy. He knew he had to do this but…shit! He wasn't sure he was ready.

Coulson headed inside but stopped and rounded back. "One final thing, Agent Ward," he whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. He met his eyes and Grant was suddenly very afraid for his well-being. "I will destroy anyone who threatens my agents but I'm not just the director, I'm also a father; Skye's father. If you break my baby girl's heart again I will personally make sure you regret every moment of the rest of your miserable life, do you understand?"

Grant gave a vigorous nod. Coulson and Skye had always been close but if she was May's daughter then he could only imagine how much closer they were now. "I will do my best to stay away, sir."

Coulson grinned. "I don't care what the two of you do, but if it ends in a way that destroys her…She's just managed to piece herself back together; I refuse to see her go through that again. Giving you a second chance is a far bigger deal than you realize, Grant. You may think you understand, but until it's your daughter suffering and you're forced to do nothing but watch because there's nothing you can do you can't even begin to understand."

"Sir-"

"Don't. I'm not your boss right now; I'm a pissed off father. Skye isn't the only one of my kids you hurt, Ward. Fitz, Simmons…they're all finally happy and if you do anything to ruin that I can't be held accountable for my actions, are we understood?"

It had never occurred to him that it would take them all this long to move on from his betrayal. Sure, he'd known it would be rough and he had a lot of work to do but he realized he was going to have to be on his guard at all times.

He gave Coulson another nod and Coulson grunted in approval.

"Good, now go on; Agent Hunter's the one glowering and drinking beer. Fair warning…he has his own reasons to hate you." _Wonderful_. "But he's usually too drunk to care. The kitchen's through the double doors. Try to get some rest; you've had a long day."

"Yes, sir."

Coulson walked past the common area and headed towards a staircase to where Grant assumed was his office. He was half-tempted to just turn, run, and find someplace to hide, but he was sure his little tracker would prevent that: so he took a long moment to brace himself. It wasn't like he'd be able to hide in his room all the time, especially when he had no idea where it was, so why not bite the bullet?


	5. (Grant) If I'm Not the Best then You're

**Title: **Fix a Heart  
**Chapter 05:** (Grant) If I'm Not the Best then You're Stuck  
**Author:** snarkysweetness  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters:** Team Bus, Team Playground, Team Avengers, etc.  
**Pairings:** Skyeward, Fitzsimmons, Philinda, Triphunter, Huntingbird, Clintasha, &amp; Pepperony with past Hawkingbird, Izzy/Victoria, &amp; May/Skye's Father  
**Summary:** Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.  
**Warnings:** Angst, canon-typical violence, sexual situations, &amp; swearing.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Author's Notes:** This is not technically a new chapter, I edited the entire fic because I am going to be updating soon and decided the original chapter four was far too long and split it up so it was more reader-friendly and in the process wound up changing quite a few things. I highly recommend re-reading the entire story.

_He was half-tempted to just turn, run, and find someplace to hide but he was sure his little tracker would prevent that so he took a long moment to brace himself. It wasn't like he'd be able to hide in his room all the time, especially when he had no idea where it was, so why not bite the bullet?_

Once he was sure he could hold it together he took a few deep breaths and walked into the common room to find it was empty with the exception of his new roommate and three of the four people he wanted to see least; Skye, Trip, and Jemma. Okay, maybe he _did_ want to see Skye; even if it hurt (he was a glutton for punishment). Their conversation died once they caught sight of him. Skye shot him a look of pure hatred and he suddenly wished he'd followed Coulson and begged for one night to be a coward.

Hunter looked him up and down in a way that even with all of his training Grant couldn't read.

"Welcome to the Shatterdome, mate," the Brit greeted, tipping his beer in his direction with a smirk. He already had one arm around Skye and as his expression grew darker as he pulled her closer, taking another swig. "So, you're the bloody bastard who killed Vic, eh?" Oh great, he really did have a good reason to hate him, lovely. Coulson was trying to get him killed, wasn't he? "What a waste; she deserved to be taken out by someone better."

"I-" Grant began, unsure of how to do this. 'I'm sorry I killed your friend' didn't seem like a good enough opener, especially not in front of this many people.

Trip rolled his eyes. "Man, ignore that asshole," he said with a wave of his hand. He used his foot to pull up the chair near the sofa and motioned for Grant to take a seat. If Trip still held any sore feelings he was damn good at hiding them. "Want a beer? It's the shitty imported kind this one likes," he teased in Jemma's direction.

He forced himself to look at Jemma and was surprised to find that she wasn't angry, just…sad. He'd never seen her so filled with despair. She shifted uncomfortably and averted her eyes.

Grant heaved a sigh, wondering if this was a mistake.

"Jemma-"

Jemma stood suddenly and reached for a bottle of water on the table. "Excuse me, I need to make sure Fitz takes his medication," she mumbled before shoving past him.

He was so tempted to go after her, to apologize, but…

God, this was going to be harder than he thought.

"Don't, she'll be fine," Hunter whispered. "That one's just a bit emotional."

Skye scoffed and Grant could picture her rolling her eyes. His gaze shifted to Skye who was now glaring at Hunter who was too busy toying with her hair to notice or care. Grant watched them for another moment, noticing that Trip seemed far more interested in the beer in his hand than Skye. He'd been wrong before; she had moved on but not with Trip.

His bunkmate was her new boyfriend. Her new boyfriend whose friend he'd shot. Great, he'd always hated his fucking life; why should things change now?

Trip reached for a new beer and popped it open, holding it out for Grant. "I know this is weird but you need to get used to being around people again eventually."

He had a point so Grant reluctantly took a seat in the armchair near Trip, waving off the beer. After being drugged, alcohol was the last thing he needed. "I'm good, thanks," he muttered awkwardly.

"If you insist, more for me," Trip toasted happily as he took a drink.

He felt Hunter's eyes on him and when he met his gaze the older agent had a shit-eating grin on his face.

Grant didn't want to do this, not right now, but maybe he should just get it out of the way. "Look-"

"Tell me, love," Hunter said as he stared down at Skye, "what was it about this one here? I don't see the appeal myself; I mean I'm much better looking. An upgrade you could say."

Trip snorted. "You have the ugliest mug I've ever seen. You're a downgrade; she can do better." Trip seemed to be speaking to both of them.

"Oh, like you?" Hunter asked, outraged.

Grant shifted uncomfortably. This was getting weird; maybe that was the point.

Trip smirked, winking in Skye's direction. "Don't be mad, Hunter, just because I'm the ultimate prize; the total package," he teased, leaning in to kiss Skye's cheek. She scowled and jerked away from him. "Come on, baby girl, you know I look good. I'm better looking than these two."

Skye scoffed in disgust and shoved Hunter's arm away from her. "I don't know why the two of you morons still insist on this game. You've both whipped them out, you know which one is bigger, so why do you still insist on trying to one-up each other?"

"It's all in the name of love, sweetheart."

"Is that what you call it?" Trip muttered. "Because I call it not being over your ex-wife."

Skye stood, annoyed, and threw her hands up in the air. "You know, I try to be diplomatic about this but my God, Bobbi had the right idea divorcing your dumb ass," she yelled in Hunter's direction before rounding on Trip. "And you," she said, putting one finger in his face, "knew full well what you were getting into when you started sleeping with him so stop crying about it! If you want someone who is going to commit to you then go find them! Stop wasting your time!"

"We were just teasing each-" Trip began but she hissed, sending him cowering against a cushion in fear.

"I don't care. He's only good for a few good thrusts unless your name happens to be Bobbi and you want babies and a house and all of that crap! So the two of you just stop fucking or stop bickering about it all the time because we're all sick of it!"

"Oy, you know full well it's more than a few-" Skye shot a glare in Hunter's direction and now it was his turn to be scared. "Fine, woman! You're a bloody menace, you know that?"

Skye huffed and reached for another beer which she downed in one long gulp.

Hunter nursed his beer and glanced in Grant's direction. "I knew having you here would piss her off, but man," he muttered with a shake of his head, whistling low as he took a swig.

Skye's face went dark and the air in the room shifted. Things had been awkward before with Hunter trying to make it worse and Trip trying to control things but now it was Grant's turn to cower before her. He could see all of the anger and hurt and things she no doubt wanted to say to him coming to the surface but by the grace of God they were interrupted before she could begin to lay into him.

A high-pitched cry filled the air and Skye was on her feet so fast she was a blur. "Mommy!"

His lungs deflated as the air left his chest. He gripped the armrest so hard his knuckles went white. He watched as Skye scooped a tiny little girl (who didn't look old enough to be walking, let alone talking) into her arms. Skye clutched her protectively as Hunter jumped up, placing a hand on the little girl's back. Trip hung back, watching them with worry lining his features.

"Hush, baby, it's okay. I'm here." Skye said in a hushed whisper as she rocked her gently.

The little girl sobbed, hugging Skye tightly around the neck. "The monsters, mommy. So much blood-it was-" she sobbed loudly. Hunter moved his hand into her hair and leaned in to kiss the top of her head.

"It was just a dream," he insisted.

The funny thing about pain was that it always somehow managed to outdo itself. He thought he'd had a broken heart before, when Skye had learned the truth, but that was nothing compared to the crippling agony he felt right now.

The moment he'd realized Skye _knew_, that she hated him, back on the bus, what now felt like a lifetime ago, he thought his heart had broken. But he'd never been more wrong in his entire life.

Because it wasn't Grant standing next to Skye and their daughter giving them comfort; it was Hunter. Hunter by her side. Hunter holding them. Hunter living the life he'd wanted.

Perhaps he didn't know the whole story but he could guess. His betrayal sent her into the arms of the first man she could find. And Skye would never give up a child. And while Hunter seemed like an asshole on the surface he clearly wasn't the type to walk away. It wasn't exactly the happy ending Grant had fantasized about with Skye but it didn't stop him from being jealous; he'd take this over not having her in his life at all.

Maybe that was love or maybe he was a lot more fucked up than he realized.

Skye held the little girl tighter, rocking her gently. "There's no monsters here, baby. You're safe, I promise. They're never going to hurt you again."

The little girl shook her head. "Daddy's the monster…he's…" she cried out loudly again. Skye tried to calm her by 'shushing' her quietly while cradling her head against her chest.

"No, baby, that's…that isn't your daddy, sweetheart." Skye and Hunter shared a glance before he looked to Trip for help, but Trip had nothing. Skye kissed her daughter's temple, shaking her head. "Your daddy…sweetie your daddy's gone, remember? The man…that's mommy's daddy, he's the monster. Not yours, okay? I don't want you…" Skye looked completely frazzled and close to tears, clearly having done this too many times without figuring out the answers.

"You're an angel, baby. Angels don't come from monsters," Hunter assured, earning him a nod from the little girl, but she was still crying.

"Grandpa…my other grandpa…the bad one…he's the monster," she said slowly, as if to remind herself. "He's…he's not here?"

Hunter ran a finger over her cheek and shook his head. "No, baby, and none of us will ever let him go near you again."

"Promise, Uncle Lance?"

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "I promise. No one's going to hurt my favorite princess."

"I'm your only princess."

"For now," he replied with a smirk.

Jemma appeared, looking harassed and terrified. "I'm sorry, Skye. I peeked in to check on her after finding Fitz asleep and she just ran past me looking for you-"

Skye shook her head and kissed the toddler's temple. "Don't be, Jemma. She's fine right here. Aren't you?"

The baby nodded aggressively as Skye ran a hand through her hair. Skye gave her a soft smile but Grant could see the tension in her throat. She was fighting to hold it together.

Grant didn't understand what was going on but he recognized fear when he saw it. This wasn't the same kind he'd experienced as a child, this was…_different_. Every person in this room clearly loved her and the Skye he knew would destroy anyone who hurt the people she loved, so it had to be something really horrible for her to be this terrified.

"Alice, baby, was…" Skye met Hunter's eyes, her own filled with terror, and he gave her an encouraging nod like they'd been through this before. "Was this a nightmare? Like we talked about? Or were you…" she swallowed, as if she didn't want to know the answer. "Were they memories?"

Grant blinked in confusion. She was a baby, how could she-

His eyes glanced over what he could see of her face and he for the first time he really regarded her. She had Skye's firm jaw, the same furrowing of the brow, the same hair but…there was something about her eyes. As he settled in on them, trying to place them, he began to study her face, trying to decipher her age.

After a long moment, he gave up.

She seemed so small to him but it had been so long since he'd been around a child that he admittedly had no clue about their development. She was walking and talking so she was probably at least a year and a half old, but there was no way she was more than two and-

_Fuck_.

His stomach sank and his heart began to race; pounding so loudly he was surprised no one yelled at him to keep it down.

_Once is all it takes_.

It took him less than ten seconds to do the math. If she'd been born the January after his incarceration then that meant-

"No," he whispered in shock.

This…he…felt…_broken_.

What had he done?

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. He was supposed to be there, supposed to be better, and instead he'd missed out on everything; his child's entire life.

His…

Grant ran his hands over his face, close to tears, his eyes never leaving that beautiful little angel in Skye's arms.

She was…_his_.

God, she was perfect.

The love he felt for Skye was nothing compared to what he was feeling now.

For their daughter.

They had a…Grant took a deep, shaky breath, fighting off a fresh wave of tears.

He wanted nothing more than to hold them both and swear he'd keep them safe, but the look on Skye's face kept him at bay. He knew better than to overstep. He…after what he'd done…he knew he didn't have the right to be anywhere near that little girl, no matter how much he wanted to be.

"Lance, please take your niece," Skye whispered, finally meeting Grant's gaze.

Hunter took her carefully as Skye handed her over. He held her against his chest protectively as she hid her face in the crook of his neck. He smiled, kissing her temple. "And your mommy thinks I'm only good for-" Skye's glare shut him up immediately. "I'm just trying to lighten the mood, love. And remember, you can't k-i-l-l him in front of the b-a-b-y."

Said baby was now clutching Lance's shirt and whimpering softly. He didn't care who had hurt her, he'd find them and destroy them. He'd lose his soul all over again if it meant protecting his daughter.

Though he wasn't sure anyone was going to get through Skye. She stood across from him with her arms crossed and glared up at him like a protective mother. That was it, the change he'd noticed. She wasn't just Skye anymore, she was someone's mom.

How was it possible for him to fall in love with her all over again?

He didn't know he could love her any more than he already did but here they were. He was still completely head over ass for her and she still hated his entire existence.

He was screwed.

"She's mine," Skye said evenly. "_Only_ mine. I don't care what you think you know or what's running through that head of yours but if you come anywhere near her I will kill you. And it will be a slow, painful death. Do you understand?"

"Skye, I would never hurt-"

"Do you understand?"

Her voice was sharp and firm. There would be no negotiating with her. And he couldn't blame her for wanting to keep him out of the baby's life but wasn't this why he was here? He realized now the only reason they would resort to breaking him out of prison was for the baby. The team was a family and they would die for one another and if dealing with him being back meant keeping one of their own safe…

"Yes, but I swear to you, Skye, I will do everything in my power to keep her safe."

Alice raised her head from Hunter's chest slowly and turned to stare at Grant. He'd seen and experienced traumatic things, horrible things, things of nightmares, but he had never in his life been more terrified than he was in this moment.

She blinked at him curiously, taking his breath away, before glancing towards her mother for a brief moment, as if seeking permission. A moment later she met his eyes curiously. "I know you," she said, her angelic voice reminiscent of her mother's.

_Yes, you do_ he wanted to say but he kept his mouth shut. He didn't know what she'd been told and he wasn't going to make things any worse.

_Daddy's a monster._

He shook off the thought; no matter how much Skye hated him she'd never tell their child _that_ version of their story.

"No you don't, baby. Just ignore hi-"

"You're the reason mommy's sad," she mused quietly, breaking his heart. Skye turned her head and he could sense the little girl wasn't lying. His heart clenched; did she still love him? Could he be that lucky? "Mommy's sad a lot. It's usually because of you."

How did he respond to that?

He met Skye's eyes and they were filled with pain and guilt and fear.

"Skye, I'm sorry," he whispered. He couldn't begin to imagine what she'd gone through and in this case it really was completely his fault.

"Hey, baby girl, look what I brought you," Trip called out, breaking through the tension like a ray a sunshine.

Alice turned in surprise. The moment she realized Trip had been there all along she threw herself into his arms happily. "Uncle Trip! You're home!"

"Of course I am," he responded with a chuckle as he hugged her tightly. "Did you really think I'd miss your big birthday bash? It's not every day your favorite girl turns two."

Grant's heart fell. She was turning…that meant…

"She's not-?" He was going to be sick.

"No," Skye interrupted crossly. "I told you; you know _nothing_."

"I…" he furrowed his brows in confusion. He really had no clue what he'd missed out on. Alice was too old to be theirs but she looked so much like a miniature-version of Skye. Did this mean she was already pregnant when they…?

It didn't matter because it suddenly hit him that he wasn't a father. He'd just discovered she existed minutes ago and he was devastated that this wouldn't be his life. He'd been so ready to take on this responsibility, to be there for Skye, even if it was just to watch out for them both. He just wanted what was best for them.

Grant understood Coulson a bit better now. If this was how he felt over a girl he didn't know he couldn't imagine what Coulson had gone through after what he'd done to the team. He deserved to be back in that cell not having a second chance at life. It was stupid to think he could have it all.

Even so, he was completely in love with that little girl. She was a part of Skye; he'd do anything to keep them both safe. Hell, to keep this team safe. Even though he'd hurt them they were still his family; he had just realized it too late and he was going to do everything in his power to make up for that. He didn't deserve to be happy but they did and he was going to make damn sure they were.

Alice's giggle pulled him back to reality. "Look, Uncle Lance!" Alice held out a stuffed monkey happily, all evidence of her earlier breakdown gone. That was kids for you, they were resilient as hell and with a mother like Skye and May for a grandmother this one had to be as tough as nails.

Hunter smiled and he and Trip exchanged a look that made Grant feel like an idiot for believing either one of them had been involved with Skye. He missed the days when Skye had looked at him that way.

Grant sighed; wow was he was pathetic.

Skye moved to her knees and held out her arms for Alice. "Come on, baby. Auntie Jemma wants to take you to the lab to make sure you're okay and then I'll put you back to bed."

Alice shook her head furiously and clutched Trip around the neck. "No, I don't wanna."

"Skye, perhaps we can do it in the morning? After she's rested," Jemma suggested.

"I want Uncle Trip to tuck me in. I like his stories and he does the voices better than you do, mommy."

Skye smiled and reached out to touch her cheek. "All right, pumpkin."

"Can Uncle Lance come too? He knows where to check for the monsters."

The light left Skye's eyes but she nodded. Alice smiled and kissed Skye's cheek before wrapping her arms around Trip again. Skye stood and moved to Jemma, apprehensive. Alice leaned into Trip's ear to whisper 'mommy is sad again' to which he replied 'I know, baby'.

Grant rubbed his chest, above where his heart was. He couldn't stand to see Skye in pain. He wanted to do something to comfort her but all he could do was sit in his chair numbly and be as useless as he felt.

The moment Alice was gone Skye began pacing. "You told me it would stop-"

"Skye, I told you that the medication could help but we don't even know why-"

"She is a _baby_, Jemma!" Skye yelled, now in her face. "I can't even remember any of this; I was too young, how…" Skye was in tears and she backed away, close to falling apart.

Jemma frowned, her fingers twitching. She reached out before pulling back quickly, seemingly deciding Skye didn't need that sort of consoling. "Those memories exist, Skye, even if you can't access them. And we don't know what that machine did to her. None of this is your fault, Skye; it's _his_."

"I'm supposed to keep her safe, Jem. _Me_. How can I do that when she has access to my memories?! I don't know what happened in China and I don't want to know and it kills me that she has to live that every time she closes her eyes! And it is my fault! They're my memories, not hers!"

"Skye, you need to calm-"

"No! You find a way to fix this!"

"It's not like turning off a light, Skye! Science can't explain why some people are born with gifts and we don't even know the full scope of what she can do and until we completely understand it we can't try to diagnose it! And it's not a disease, Skye. She had abilities and she's just a child; she can't control them."

Skye wiped at her eyes. "This is too much. She's been through too much. She's only two, Jemma. This isn't fair. I just…I promised to keep her safe. It's my job to protect her. How am I supposed to do that when I'm the one she needs protecting from?"

"Skye, please-"

Skye seemed to realize he was still there and she sniffled angrily. "The next time you see your friend, Raina, be sure to let her know that machine of yours works wonders," she spat before storming out of the room.

His…

The memory…

"Skye, wait!" Grant jumped out of his seat and went after her without thinking. He needed to tell her everything, so she could understand. He wanted to fix this.

Jemma caught him by the arm. "Don't. Please. It'll just…" he met her eyes and she was close to tears as well. "I know the machine was Garrett's and everything that's happened since you've been incarcerated has nothing to do with you but she needs someone to blame right now."

"The doctor…Skye's father…he found them, didn't he?"

She nodded and he had to take a seat.

He knew it wasn't his fault but he still felt responsible. If he'd opened his eyes sooner, if he'd been here to keep them safe…there were a million things he could have done differently. He buried his face in his hands, wrecked with guilt. He didn't even noticed Jemma leave but when she returned he took notice.

"Here, I figured you'd be hungry," she said as she offered up a sandwich. It was even made the way he liked it. He didn't think she'd ever paid that much attention to him when they were living on the bus.

Grant took is gratefully, confused. She had no reason to be this kind to him. "Thank you."

Jemma stood before him with her arms crossed. "I need to speak and I need you to not interrupt."

"Okay." He owed her much more than that.

"I want to forgive you, not for you, for me. It's not healthy to hold onto anger. But I can't. Every day I have to live with what you did to me and to Fitz. I can't forgive you and I may never trust you again but I can't waste energy hating you.

You have no idea what we've been through. Fitz's recovery alone…" She wiped at her eyes angrily. "He was going to die for me down there. And I couldn't let him and because of that he's not the same. His recovery was long and hard and even with the best doctors in the world _he's not the same_."

She closed her eyes with a sigh. "I don't have the energy," she whispered. She opened her eyes a moment later and met his sadly.

"I just want to be happy and we are _finally_ happy. And I don't want you being here to change that so…I will try to find a way to forgive you and until then I'm going to just live with the fact that you're here.

Because as much as I hate to admit it; we need you. What you saw? That was _nothing_. Skye's life is a horror show. What her father did to her and to that little girl…he's a monster and he needs to be stopped. And if you can help us do that…I may be willing to forgive what you did to me.

But…I'm sorry, Ward, I can never forgive what you did to Fitz."

When Grant moved to his feet and pulled Jemma into his arms he didn't expect her to lean in and begin sobbing. He'd simply been acting on impulse. When someone you cared about was in this much pain you had to do something to try to make it better.

He held her awkwardly while she cried.

"What…Jemma, what was that?" Even if that wasn't his daughter he still cared. He loved Skye and she was a part of her and he couldn't help but want to protect her. She was an innocent child, she needed to be protected. Children deserved to be loved and kept safe. Grant knew what happened when they weren't and he wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Jemma pulled away and used her sleeves to wipe her eyes.

"He…I think he thought if he could force Skye to relive the massacre it would…break her? Get her to stay with him? I don't know. I just know when we found her…" she looked down, unable to go on.

"I'm sorry I aske-"

"No." She looked up and met his eyes. "You need to know. Alice has gifts. She can…I don't know if it's mind-reading…but she knows things. Skye doesn't remember China but somehow that machine did unlock some things because a few months ago Alice just started rambling about the monster that was going to kill them. She knows things…sometimes she just has nightmares, like children do, but most of the time she's reliving what Skye went through as a baby and what…and what he..." Jemma covered her mouth, unable to keep speaking.

All of the blood left his face.

He knew what had happened and to think of anyone having to live that let alone relive it…and for a child to have to see that…

Jemma wiped her eyes again as more tears fell. "He tortured both of them. She was just a baby and..." She blew her nose into her sleeve and shook her head, still crying.

"Oh God."

What kind of monster…

Grant wanted to punch a wall.

"I don't know how to fix her. I don't think she needs to be fixed but…just…stay away from her. Not because I think you'd hurt her, but you have to understand she can't control her powers and-"

"You're afraid of what she might see, right? That she'll unlock some of my memories?"

"I'm sorry. Coulson…he told me about your family and that with what I'm sure you've done in your life-she's suffering enough." He nodded and she sniffled. "Good. Now eat your sandwich, you're too damn skinny."

A smile played on his lips. "Okay, mom."

They sat in silence while he ate his sandwich. When he finished he was sure he finally had the nerve to speak to her. "Jemma, about what I did-"

"You don't-"

"No, I do."

He waited until she was looking at him to continue. "I know it doesn't excuse anything but I swear I was trying to give you both a chance. If I hadn't…Garrett would have ordered someone else to take the shot. I couldn't…I couldn't do it and I thought at least you'd have a chance to find a way out, like you always do. I didn't think it would sink…and even then, I know it doesn't erase the trauma…I'm sorry, Jemma.

It doesn't fix anything, but I am. And I've had time to come to terms with what I've done and why and I just want to make up for it all. I want to be my own man and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you. And to Fitz. And to everyone else."

"Oh, Ward-"

"My darling Jemma, your best friend is pacing in your lab, perhaps you should go attend to her?"

Jemma glanced up to find Hunter in the door with a bottle of Scotch in one hand and two glasses in the other. She gave Grant's hand a squeeze before standing. "Of course. How is-"

"Asleep. The wanker's with her, so if she wakes she won't be alone. And I checked in on your little monkey, he's sleeping soundly."

Jemma smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"No problem, just try to keep it down the next time the two of you have crazy monkey sex, yes?"

She rolled her eyes and Grant found himself smiling into his glass of juice. _Good job, Fitz_.

"Whatever, I could say the same about you. I'm not sure who you're louder with; Trip or Bobbi. Maybe I should conduct an ex-"

"Bye, Simmons."

She chuckled and disappeared into the hallway.

Grant reached for his plate to wash up but Hunter stopped him. "Stay roomie; have a drink."

"I shouldn't-"

"It's fifty-year-old Scotch, mate. You don't have to get wasted, just take a taste," he insisted as he took a seat next to Grant and poured them each a glass (his own much fuller than Grant's).

Grant took is hesitantly. He hadn't touched alcohol in years and with the drugs still in his system he wasn't sure this was a good idea but on the other hand…he'd had one fucked up day. "Cheers," he muttered, tipping his glass before taking a small gulp. It burned more than he expected but it was smooth and just what he needed right now. "Thanks."

Hunter shrugged. "Not a problem."

"Look, about Victoria-"

"I get it, mate. You had orders. I'm not exactly innocent myself. S.A.S., S.H.I.E.L.D., S.T.R.I.K.E.; I've taken my share of lives. I loved Vic, she was my family, but I'm not going to try to kill your or anything. Coulson trusts you; that's all I need to know. He says you're hell-bent on changing and redemption and shite; good for you."

Grant wasn't sure if Hunter was just drunk or if he was being genuine but he wasn't going to leave it there. "Well, I'm sorry all the same. She didn't deserve that and…" he sighed. "I was taking orders from a monster." They all had their own monsters it seemed. "I should have known better."

"Apology accepted but I need to warn you, mate, it's Izzy you need to watch out for." Hunter told him with a frown.

"Izzy?"

"Hartley. Victoria's wife-well, widow now."

Grant closed his eyes.

_Fuck._

"See, this is why I like you. You feel remorse, I can tell. Do you know how many of those fucks under my command were really Hydra? How many of them enjoyed the kill? I've never taken a life lightly and it should stay with you. But some of those bastards…" Hunter shook his head and took another swig. "It'll feel good putting them in prison."

Well, Hunter certainly had a way with people because Grant was smiling. "It will feel good to do a lot of things," he admitted.

"Like sleep? You look like you can use it. After this round I'll give you a quick tour and then show you to our room. Though, I feel I should warn you: Fitz and Simmons-"

"Are loud I take it?"

"Like animals. I don't know what the bloody fuck he's doing to her in there but she's always screaming for him to do it harder when it's clear he's already doing it pretty hard."

Grant smirked. He was glad they were happy. It was about time. "I'll be sure to get some ear plugs."

Hunter chuckled. "Fair enough. But do me a favor? The next time you want to get your friends together, maybe just lock them in a closet instead."

Was he…the smirk on Hunter's face said he was joking but Grant couldn't laugh, not about that.

"How bad is he?"

"It's better than before. He had trouble processing speech for a long time but most of the time he's fine. Every once in a while he has trouble verbalizing his thoughts but Mack and Simmons are usually there to help him.

But hey, he got the girl, that's something."

"Yeah, I guess."

"He's better off than we are in that department."

Grant nearly choked mid-drink and blinked at Hunter. "What?"

"I'm not blind, mate. You're in love with Skye. Can't say I blame you; she is one hell of a woman. I don't know anyone else who can do what she's done and after what she's been through. She's selfless, that one."

"She's amazing," Grant admitted, knowing he would love her until the day she died. "And Alice, she's…she's a lot like Skye, isn't she?"

_What do you want?_ His therapists had asked him over and over again. He knew now: he wanted to be with her. To have a family, a _real_ family; people he could protect and love.

Skye was what he wanted. All he wanted. Her and that little girl. And he was too late.

He'd broken them and now it was too late.

Hunter smirked. "She's everything, mate. I had no idea when I met that tiny thing that you could love a little person like that. She has everyone around here wrapped around her wee finger," he said proudly.

Grant could sense he was holding something back and he felt comfortable enough to pry. "What?"

Hunter shrugged. "It just seems…ridiculous now. I found the one and I had her and I lost her because she was ready for a family and I was so convinced I'd be a terrible father and now…well, I know it's not the same, being an uncle, but now I regret it. I had a beautiful, smart woman, who is one of the best damn agents I've ever met, and for some reason she wanted me and I let that go because I was too damn stubborn to even consider giving her what she wanted."

"But now you have Triplett-"

Hunter scoffed. "It's not the same. I…I wish I could commit to him, I do. But, when you find _the one_ no one else compares, mate; and it's not fair to the next person who comes along. He'll find someone else, someone better. Until then we're just keeping each other busy is all. He knows that."

Grant toyed with his glass, unsure of what to say. "That's tough," he said finally, sick of the word 'sorry' already.

Hunter clapped him on the back and Grant winced. He'd been adverse to touch before but he'd gone so long without it and he didn't know Hunter that well…he really needed to work on that issue.

"Look, Ward, I feel bad for you. I understand what you're feeling, loving a woman who despises you. But…don't give up on her, mate, not if you really love her."

"Hunter-"

"Call me 'Lance'."

"All right, Lance; Skye _despises_ me. And she has every reason to. I'm not going to ruin her life by selfishly pursuing her. She deserves to be happy. Besides, she can do better for her and for that little girl."

Lance gave him a look Grant couldn't decipher before leaning in close. "Look, if you tell her I said this I will kill you, understood? I love her, I do, but I am terrified of her. She's Melinda May's daughter, she's fucking terrifying when you mess with her. And then there's May to deal with and I am not getting on their bad side."

Grant stared back at him with an expression that told him to continue.

"Fine, look…that woman has never stopped loving you. Hell, I know for a fact she loves you. She hates herself for it, don't get me wrong, but she does all the same. And the way I see it, if two people love each other, it doesn't matter what's getting in their way; they should try to work through their bullshit and be together."

"Wow," Grant whispered. "I'm rooming with a fucking guy who's going to make me watch romantic comedies, aren't I?"

Lance stared at him for a long moment before laughing. "Look at you, making jokes."

Grant shrugged, it had to happen eventually.

"I'm serious, you should fight for her. You'll regret it if you don't and she's not going to move on, if she was she would have done it by now but she's not interested in it.

Though, I can't blame her. She has enough to deal with, being an agent, keeping Alice safe, and after what their father did to them I'm surprised her sanity's still intact," Hunter said with a shake of his head before polishing off his glass and pouring another.

Grant chuckled. "Yeah, well, Skye is resilient as-wait, what do you mean 'their father'?"

Lance lowered his glass and watched Grant in confusion before making an 'o' face. "Right, you don't know." He set his glass down and poured Grant a refill. "A few months after Coulson convinced me to join his little effort to revive S.H.I.E.L.D. she was taken. We searched for weeks and when we finally caught a break and found her…" Lance stared down into his glass, a dark expression on his face. Once he was done reliving the memory he downed his entire glass and met Grant's eyes. "When we found her she was…I've seen some shit, but this was…he'd spent weeks torturing her, trying to brainwash her. I don't know how she survived it, mate. I mean, she's tough, but what he did to her would break any normal person.

That girl of yours is the strongest person I've ever met. But when we pulled her out of that hell, she was raving, like a lunatic, fighting us. She didn't want to go. I thought she'd gone completely bonkers. It wasn't until Triplett found the baby that we understood why," Hunter whispered darkly, his eyes reflecting the horrors of his memories.

"He'd decided he needed a re-do and like he had done with Skye as a baby he was-"

"Experimenting on her."

Lance nodded. "Coulson tried to find her a good home but Skye-she couldn't do that to her little sister, mate. She couldn't put her through what she'd been through. So we all agreed to keep her here and Skye's been raising her ever since.

But she…she's starting to realize it's a lie. Skye didn't want her to know her origins, said no child should have to live with that pain. Told her that her father was a hero who died defending S.H.I.E.L.D. and it was a good lie, until her powers kicked in. I don't know how they work, but she and Skye have a connection. Maybe it's because of their father or because of something he did to them but Alice is connected to her mind. She knows far more than a child her age should know and she's smart; the smartest kid I've ever met. Simmons thinks it's because she can tap into the human mind, but we don't know. We can't know, not without putting her through hell again."

He shook his head and poured another drink. Grant threw his own back and held out his glass, needing another as well.

"I feel sorry for the poor son-of-a-bitch who tries to hurt that kid, she will destroy them and if she fails there's a whole line of people waiting to do it."

Grant downed his drink and let out a shaking breath. "I'll get there first," he muttered angrily. Skye would hate him for it but at least her hands would be clean.

He'd failed to protect his own siblings and Skye was selflessly spending her life raising hers as if she were own child.

She was everything he could never be.

"That's the look, right there. You're so bloody in love with her, mate. I almost feel sorry for you."

"Yeah? I feel sorry for me, too."

Lance laughed and stood to collect their mess. "Come on, mate, I promised Coulson you'd get some rest tonight. Tomorrow's going to be another big day and the one after that and well, you get it. That's how it works here; we don't get much downtime."

"And how is that different from before?"

"It's not, but at least we get this dorm-like bonding now."

Grant shook his head and followed Lance to the kitchen where he washed their dishes, not wanting to give anyone a reason to hate him even more. After a short tour Lance led him down the hall towards their room.

"Your things are already here and we have our own bathroom. It's small, but it's something. I'll leave you alone for a few, let you get settled in."

"Thanks," Grant said, grateful. He moved to close the door behind Hunter and watched as he knocked, then entered what he assumed was Trip's room. He shook his head, feeling bad for Trip. He knew what it was like to be used to forget someone else.

He began closing the door when the door across the hall opened and a startled Skye appeared. He could see past her, to where a tiny form slept on one of the twin beds. When he met her eyes she continued to stare at him, a range of emotions playing on her face.

Grant wanted to say something, anything, but instead he gave her a small nod and closed the door. The moment it clicked shut he leaned against it, his hands shaking.

He'd meant what he'd said; he was going to keep his distance as much as possible. It would break his heart but it was the least he could do for her. He just hadn't realized they'd be living so close to one another.

This was going to be a lot harder than he'd anticipated.


	6. (Skye) It's Like You're Pouring Salt

**Title: **Fix a Heart  
**Chapter 06:** (Skye) It's Like You're Pouring Salt in My Cuts  
**Author:** snarkysweetness  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters:** Team Bus, Team Playground, Team Avengers, etc.  
**Pairings:** Skyeward, Fitzsimmons, Philinda, Triphunter, Huntingbird, Clintasha, &amp; Pepperony with past Hawkingbird, Izzy/Victoria, &amp; May/Skye's Father  
**Summary:** Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.  
**Warnings:** Angst, canon-typical violence, sexual situations, &amp; swearing.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Author's Notes:** Season Two was an epic fail so I had to come back and finish this story because anything is better than what we actually got. The angst is also super strong in this chapter and will be for the next few chapters but I promise this is the worst of it.

_**Two years ago (November, 2014)**_

_She woke to piercing cries filling the air. But they were far. So far away. And her head was so foggy. _

_Where was she? Why did she feel so lifeless? Who was crying?_

_Skye reached instinctively for her stomach, wanting to reassure the little one that she would keep her safe, but she couldn't. Panic set in as she realized she was strapped down, unable to move. She turned her head wildly, taking in the utensils on the side-tray, the marks on her body, the dried blood on the sheets and her clothes, and worst of all…_

_A loud wail left her lungs at the sight of her flat stomach as everything came rushing back; the way it always did when she woke from a drug-induced sleep._

_Cries filled the air again and she wished she could cover her ears, unable to stand it anymore. She wasn't sure what was real and what was her mind playing tricks on her anymore but she couldn't bear the sounds anymore. _

_She was a mother without a child and she wanted nothing more than to be free of this hell, to let the darkness claim her, so that at least they could be together again. _

Skye's heart leapt in her chest as her entire body sprung into motion, a reflex she still couldn't explain taking over. Shock had erased her ability to feel physical pain weeks ago so when her restraints kept her tied to her cot, her red, raw wrists fighting against their hold she didn't feel it. The only pain she felt was the kind you felt deep down in your soul, the kind no amount of shock or torture could wash away.

A sob escaped her as she writhed around, trying for the millionth time to slip her bone-thin hand through its restraint. Her body gave out after a few minutes, her mind still racing.

She heard the familiar cry again and instinct took over; the baby needed her. She had to find a way out of here.

_Baby…_

Skye pressed the back of her head into the harsh mattress and bit her lip to keep her cries from filling the room.

He couldn't hear her, if he did…he knew what hurting the baby did to her and she couldn't give him another reason to do it.

Skye needed to get them out of here; it was clear her family wasn't coming for her. Maybe they were trying but it'd been months; they were never going to find her. She was on her own and maybe if it was just her she'd have long-ago given up fighting but she couldn't let her down. Skye had lost too much already, she couldn't lose this too.

"Oh, Luna, sweetheart, you misbehaved again; you know what that means."

"No, daddy, please," Skye whimpered. She barely had time to protest before he slipped a needle into her arm, shushing her cries as the drug made its way through her bloodstream.

Skye could feel her consciousness slipping but she was incapable of not fighting until the end. "Please, you have me, just let the girl go."

The last thing she registered was the sound that haunted her nightmares; her father laughing.

* * *

_**Two years ago (October, 2014)**_

_The thing was, when there was something inside of you, something alive…you know when it's gone._

"Please," Skye pleaded, throat raw, voice breaking. Melinda May's daughter didn't beg but this wasn't about her, it hadn't been for months. She could take the cuts of his scalpel, the cold of the basement he kept her in, the blood loss, everything he could throw at her but her baby…Skye had never once pleaded for her own life but she knew there was only so much her body could endure before the baby couldn't keep fighting and she could feel that something was wrong.

"I'm disappointed in you, sweetheart; is this how your mother raised you?"

Skye wanted to spit in his face and scream that he'd made sure her mother couldn't raise her but she refused to waste the effort; all of her energy went towards her little rabbit and all of her rage was being bottled up for the moment when she found a way to get free and she could unleash on him. She hadn't known it was possible to hate someone so much but she was looking forward to the day when she could rip him apart with her bare hands.

_I'm so sorry, Grant._ If she'd told him, if she'd made a deal for his life, if she'd done something to keep him around they'd be safe. And even if her deranged father had still found a way to get to her…Grant wouldn't stop until he found them and she'd have him breaking down the doors to murder the good doctor himself to look forward to but she had long ago given up hope of anyone finding them. She'd failed their baby and she would never forgive herself.

She could only fantasize about the day he let his guard down and she found a way to break-free and kill him herself.

A sob escaped her chest as the horror of her situation hit her once more.

Pain seared through her middle and Skye howled in pain. "You have to stop…the baby," she hissed through gritted teeth. She'd never felt pain like this in her life and she knew…

Skye cried out and fought against the restraints tying her to the exam table. "You're hurting her," she screamed, digging her nails into her own palm, pretending it was his face.

"Almost done." Daddy dearest 'tsked', still cutting into her skin, ignoring her tantrum. "Then you can go back to your whining." He dug his fingers into her flesh and retreated holding a crystal he'd implanted there days before. "Some days I wonder if you really are Phil's; you're weak, like he is." His eyes met hers and Skye could feel rage boiling in her blood, ready to spill out and kill him. But it couldn't; he'd made sure of that with his henchman and restraints and drug cocktails. It was a miracle the little one was still with her; her girl was a fighter, just like her mother.

"Phil Coulson is ten times the man you could ever dream of being," Skye spat angrily.

Seamus smirked and patted her cheek mockingly. "D.N.A. doesn't lie, sweetheart; remember to thank your whore of a mother for that when you see in her Hell, will you?" He kissed Skye's forehead and returned to his microscope, chuckling to himself.

Skye bit her cheek, drawing blood, and forced down her pride. She had to do this, for the baby. "Daddy...please…there's something wrong with the baby." Some days the loving daughter routine worked, depending on his mood. She hoped today was one of those days.

"The little bastard's held out this long; it'll be fine and if not…" He glanced back with a smile and shrugged. "You didn't really think I was going to let you play house when this was over, did you?"

No, she didn't. She'd hoped S.H.I.E.L.D. would find them before it was too late.

"When my mother finds me she's going to spend what is left of your miserably short life torturing you," Skye promised. Skye finally understood how much her mother loved her and if they were in any way alike Melinda May wouldn't stop until she hunted down and slowly killed her ex-husband; Skye just hoped she was alive to enjoy the show.

But there was that other part of her that knew if this ended without her baby being fine…

Skye wasn't sure she could live in a world without her.

Tears flooded her eyes as her middle cramped with pain. She bit her lip, sobbing.

_If there is a God, the Cavalry will burst through those doors right this moment._

But there wasn't.

"You're an enigma, my sweet daughter; the mists had no effect on you, the crystals had no effect on you, and none of my formulas have an effect on you. There are mutations present in your D.N.A. which explain why you haven't turned to stone but…there isn't a damn thing special about you, is there? Don't worry, I'll keep trying to force it out of you; if there's power in you, waiting to emerge, I'll find it. Though with my luck I'd be stuck with the child with a passive power and I'll have no use for those or for you."

She didn't have time for his lunatic monologues. Fresh blood soiled her gown and it wasn't from his blade. What little life was left in Skye faded away but not before a fresh wave of frantic screams filled the small space that made up her own personal Hell.

* * *

_**Two years ago (September, 2014)**_

_Sometimes, Skye wished Jemma would keep her scientific mouth shut and that she wasn't so damn stubborn all the time. _

"Yunno, it's not my fault someone cleaned out the freezer of all of the ice cream," Trip teased as Skye tapped her foot impatiently with a whine.

"Well it's not my fault the serial killer's demon spawn wants to eat everything," she complained, dancing in place. It also wasn't her fault her precious baby angel was sitting on her bladder again. She didn't know why she had to come along for this shopping trip; just because she was eating for seven didn't mean she had to go out for groceries.

There was no denying her kid was Grant Ward's; she wanted nothing but protein-filled foods ninety-nine percent of the time. Of course there was that small part of her that was clearly Skye's and that part wanted to clean-out every store on the Eastern Seaboard of Americone Dream.

Trip rolled his eyes and reached out to pat Skye's stomach. "Don't listen to your mom, she's still mad for that week she spent eating nothing but saltines because you were being difficult."

"She's punishing me for not having a father," Skye muttered grumpily.

Stupid Grant Ward with his cheekbones and abs and amazing bedroom skills. She was paying the price for his inability to use a condom and he wasn't even here to sexually satisfy her when the mood arose or to go on ice cream runs or to do anything.

Stupid Hydra traitor.

God, she hated him sometimes.

Scratch that, _most_ of the time; but those times when their tiny rabbit started moving around she remembered she did also love him…_sometimes_.

"Just go use the bathroom," Trip ordered, glancing back down at the grocery list.

"No, it's dirty," Skye whined, knowing she was pissy because she was ten seconds away from peeing her pants. Thanks to Jemma, Skye had no interest in exposing her child to all of the bacteria in a public restroom. "Besides, my mom told you not to let me out of your sight and if I go to the toilet then you're coming with me."

Trip sighed, rubbing the dark circles under his eyes. "Skye, you're like a child."

She shrugged with a smirk. "Yup, now hurry up; there's a steak with my name on it in that basket and oh!" She clapped her hands in excitement. "I saw a Costco on our way here and they have kosher dogs and clean bathrooms."

"So you're doing to eat a hot dog and then a steak? Plus another pint of ice cream in the car?"

Skye reached for a tasty cake from the cart with a smirk. "And this too."

Before baby just the thought of meat made her stomach queasy but now…well, there wasn't anything she wouldn't eat.

Trip chuckled and wrapped an arm around her, kissing her temple. "All right, come on, tubby."

"Hey," Skye muttered, offended, through a mouthful of sugary goodness.

"My niece is going to be a fat baby."

"Her daddy was a fat baby," Skye said with a pout.

"Oh, well, if she's going to take after her father-"

They spent the next ten minutes bickering, stopping only when Skye's bladder could no longer take it and she began bothering him to hurry to the bathroom.

"You know if you'd just used the grocery store bathroom, you pain in the ass-"

"How dare you speak to Melinda May's only child that way? Do you have a death wish, Antoine?"

He shooed her towards the restroom and she smirked, knowing even he was terrified of mommy dearest.

"Don't forget the churro," she called and she could hear him groan from across the warehouse.

Skye smirked; she hadn't felt this peaceful in months. She'd have a baby in a few months, she was safe, she had her mother and a great surrogate dad, and the team was finally doing well again. Things where finally looking up for Team S.H.I.E.L.D.

"And what is your problem today, little miss?" Skye muttered, staring down at the bowling ball in her shirt. She rubbed where her future soccer player was happily torturing her poor mother with a frown. "That's not very nice, baby girl. Mommy's tough but you've got daddy's brute strength and mommy's insides don't like that." Well, they had, when they'd made her but the kiddo didn't need to know that small detail.

Skye was so focused on speaking to her little rabbit she let her guard down for a second and it was all it took for a hand to cover her mouth and two arms to restrain her. A familiar pair of eyes met hers and Skye's insides twisted, bile filling her throat.

"Hello, sweetheart; when were you planning on telling me the good news?"

Skye had no idea how he'd found her or that he was even still alive but she'd recognize him anywhere; the man her mother had married when she was young and stupid and angry with Phil and the man who was partly responsible for her existence.

Doctor Seamus MacDougal, most-likely Hydra, definitely dangerous, knelt down and patted Skye's stomach, a sinister sneer on his face. "Hello little one, I'm your grandfather and I need to borrow your mommy…"

Once the bomb went off Trip never stood a chance of stopping them.

* * *

_**Two and a half years ago (July, 2014)**_

_Skye curled up on her side, sobs spilling from her chest. No matter how much she tried to hate him or how much she knew him being gone was what was best for their baby_

"I will not tolerate threats to _my family_."

She was trying to play it tough and she could see from the look on her mother's face she was failing but no one else seemed to have caught on. However…she placed a hand over the small bump forming on her body, compassion and regret rushing through her.

"If I go to see him…" She wanted to, so badly. She wanted to tell him, to give him a reason to be a better man, but she couldn't; the life growing inside of her mattered more than her, more than him, more than their love for each other. She had to play it tough because her child deserved nothing less. "That will put my family at risk and sometimes…Sometimes you have to make hard choices to keep the people you love safe." She knew if anyone understood, it was her mother and the small nod of encouragement she sent her way gave Skye strength.

"I hope he does get help. I don't want him to suffer but I do want him to pay for his crimes. But that doesn't mean I need to have anything to do with him." It physically hurt to say. She knew she couldn't have anything to do with him, for the baby's sake, but it didn't stop her from wanting to.

Hormones wreaked havoc on one's sanity.

She slipped out of the room before anyone could stop her. She wanted nothing more than to rush to her room and lock herself away but a familiar pull sent her to the Infirmary to look in on Fitz. Poor Fitz. He was a constant reminder that she was doing the right thing. No matter how much she loved Grant Ward he was a monster. A monster who could never know he was a father.

Skye ran a hand over her chest, as if it would somehow quell the ache that lay there.

She continued to watch Fitz, the hums and beeps from the machines keeping him alive more depressing today than usual. Skye moved a protective hand over her middle. "Don't worry, kid, things will be alright," she whispered, unsure if she was speaking to the baby or Fitz or maybe both.

Skye pushed away from the wall, stepped inside to brush her lips over Fitz's forehead, and made the depressing retreat back to her bedroom for a nice, long cry.

Yes, a big part of her still hated him and still couldn't forgive him but knowing he was leaving and she'd never see him again broke her heart. At least when he was imprisoned on the base she knew where he was, knew he was safe, and knew he wasn't out there, able to find them.

She was never going to see him again.

Their baby was never going to meet him.

Skye pressed her fist to her mouth and stifled a sob as she curled up on her side.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, hugging herself around the middle. "I need to keep you safe…I need to keep you safe." And despite knowing she was doing the right thing it didn't stop a small part of her from wondering if they weren't both safer with him in their lives.

* * *

_**Two and a half years ago (June, 2014)**_

"_Did my girls miss me?" Grant whispered into her ear, his arms wrapped around her from behind._

_Skye did her best not to giggle when he kissed her neck, that damn beard needing to go._

"_Of course not," she teased but there was a traitor amongst them; the baby kicked under his hand as if to say 'I did, daddy!'_

"_Liar," he muttered, spinning her around so he could lift her into his arms and greet her properly._

"_So what if we did?" Skye muttered onto his lips as he set her back onto the ground._

_He stared down at her with a grin. "I think you love me."_

"_Yeah? Well, you loved me first."_

"_You loved me last."_

"_That doesn't even make sense," Skye muttered, letting him pull her in for another kiss._

_He shrugged, still grinning. "It makes perfect sense, doesn't it, baby girl?" He placed his hands over the bump that kept their baby safe and she gave another kick. "See? She understands me."_

"_Well, at least someone does."_

_Grant kissed her before she could insult him some more._

That was the way it was supposed to be. They two of them stupidly in love, happy, about to be a family. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Hiding in the back of an SUV with a pregnancy test she'd smuggled from the supply closet, hand covering her mouth so no one could hear her sobs.

_Murder._

_Lies. _

_Betrayal. _

That was her reality, her baby's reality.

Her baby wasn't going to have a father…

Skye was going to be sick.

She barely made it out of the car before falling to her knees and losing her lunch all over Mack's garage.

There was no happy family in her baby's future. There was only her and whatever life threw at them and Skye knew they were screwed; she'd never hated Grant Ward more than she did in this moment. He'd done this to her, he'd lied and betrayed her and left her; and now they were alone.

And the worst part was she wanted nothing more than for him to be here, to see the look on his face when she told him, and to have that perfect life with him.

Nausea rolled through her again and this time it was the morning sickness that had her desecrating poor Mack's workspace.

* * *

_**Two and a half years ago (May, 2014)**_

_One of them should have realized that between 'not here; your bunk' and 'I love you too' the box of condoms had gone untouched but that was the thing about love; it left you high and giddy and stupid and even spies make mistakes when it takes hold._

Skye couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so…she buried her face in Grant's neck to hide her smile, feeling slightly guilty that in the midst of all of this she was so happy. He wrapped both arms around her, pulling her closer, and she felt safe; nothing could get her with black Kevlar protecting her.

Grant left a trail of kisses along her shoulder and neck, stopping at her cheek before pressing his forehead against hers.

"Hey," Skye whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "What's wrong?" She knew him well enough to know something was weighing heavily on his mind. Did he regret having sex with her? Was it about Garrett? Was he reverting back to his typical, brooding self?

"Nothing," he lied.

Skye met his eyes and frowned. "Grant, it's me, remember? You can tell me anything."

He brushed a thumb over her cheek with a small smile. "There is absolutely nothing wrong; you're perfect…I'm not used to…" he linked their fingers and held their joined hands against his chest as he stared down at her. After a long moment he kissed her knuckles and met her eyes again. "I'm just not used to…_this_. I never thought…" He grinned and leaned in to brush his lips over hers. "I just love you so much, Skye. No matter what happens, you need to know that I love you; I have from the moment I met you and I will never stop, not even when I die. You're my entire world; my heart and-"

Skye cut him off before he embarrassed himself any further. Okay, so she was the one with the red cheeks but it wasn't every day that Super Spy Grant Ward (or any man for that matter) got all sappy on you.

"You're an idiot," Skye muttered, taking his face in her hands and pressing her mouth to his with a smile.

"Does this mean you love me too?" He mumbled against her lips and she shook her head with a chuckle.

"Maybe, why don't you kiss me some more and let me show you how much?"

* * *

_**Present day (October 2016)**_

The moment their eyes met Skye forgot why she'd left the room in the first place.

Even with all of the lies, the betrayal, the body count…the second she looked into those brown, puppy-dog eyes…he was still the man she loved. No, he wasn't the same man she'd fallen for but somehow, despite everything, she still loved him; and she hated herself for it.

Before the awkward silence could consume them he gave her a curt nod and closed his door, leaving her alone in the hallway. She stared at his door, knowing it would be so easy to walk over, knock, and…

A snore from the room behind her reminded why starting where they left off was a bad idea. Skye held her hands against her chest, trying to compose herself. She stared at the door for another moment before rushing back into her room. She closed the door quietly, not wanting to wake Alice, and leaned back, holding herself around the middle. Memories of those first few months after the truth came to light flooded through her and she found herself sliding down to the floor, sobbing quietly.

Skye buried her face in her knees and fought it keep it all bottled in; how much she loved him, how much she hated him, everything she'd been through because of her father, and everything she was still going through because of him.

She'd failed their child, a child he would never know existed because despite how she felt she couldn't do that to him, the truth would kill him, and now…

How was she supposed to do this?

She'd failed once: Alice wasn't safe. Skye wasn't capable of protecting the people she loved. She'd even gone as far as to bring back her own personal boogeyman to take on the real boogeyman.

Skye bit her cheek and swallowed back a sob. She couldn't fail, not again. Alice deserved better. Skye didn't know how but this time…_this time_ they were going to win.

Once she was convinced she wouldn't fall apart again, Skye reached into the loose floorboard and retrieved a ratted copy of _Wuthering Heights_ (one of Grant Ward's many possessions she'd kept that were now hidden). With shaking hands she opened the book, careful not to let the contents spill to the floor like the last time she'd done this.

She slipped two thick, loose pieces from the book and set it aside, using the light from under the door to examine the items in her hand; a bent, old polaroid from her time on the bus and a newer, more preserved picture. In one she stood next to the T-100 himself, making a face and for once he wasn't glowering; he was actually smiling. The other was in black and white, portraying a little alien looking blob.

Skye traced her thumb over the little rabbit and her lower lip quivered as she fought off tears.

_I promise you, he's going to pay for what he did to you._

"Mommy?"

Skye froze in fear, not wanting to be caught. She quickly shoved the picture and ultrasound back into their hiding spot and shoved the book into her desk. She'd put it away later.

She turned to find Alice yawning sleepily. She gave her a smile and slipped into bed with her, hugging her close and kissing her temple. "Shh, monkey, back to sleep."

"Why…awake?" She yawned again, hugging Skye around the middle.

Skye buried her face in her hair and held her protectively. "Just thinking, baby girl."

"Wuv you," Alice murmured, already drifting off.

"I love you too," Skye whispered, vowing to do what she couldn't do before; keep this little one safe.

* * *

_**Two years ago (November, 2014)**_

_Skye swatted at the air, mumbling nonsense. She'd woken from a touch on her face but she knew it was just another dream; a cruel illusion of rescue. _

_She'd been having these fantasies for weeks but this one felt much more real. _

"_Skye," the voice pleaded. "Baby girl, wake up."_

_She could swear that was her mother's voice and her mother's hands and her mother's-_

Skye shot up like she'd been hit with a jolt of electricity. She knew that lavender perfume. She reached out and clutched her mother's arm desperately, her eyes looking around the room wildly. Her entire body shook, the drugs still coursing through her veins.

"Mom?" Skye cried, voice shaking, still not believing this was real.

Her mother stared down at her, nodding with a tearful smile. "It's me. It's me, baby girl."

Skye let her pull her into her arms, too weak to throw her arms around her. Skye let out a sob of relief as Melinda kissed the top of her head. She pulled the soiled sheets back to help Skye from the bed. "Hurry, baby, there's a medic-" Melinda froze, eyes staring down at Skye for what seemed like a lifetime before she lifted her head slowly to meet Skye's gaze. "The baby…"

Her entire body shook and Melinda had to catch Skye before she fell from the bed, sobbing.

Melinda held her close, stroking her hair. "Wǒ de bǎobèi nǚhái," her mother whispered, holding her tighter.

"It was too early…she was so tiny…" Skye's body convulsed, her hands shaking. "She never stood a chance," she whispered harshly, anger returning to her. They weren't going anywhere, she was going to find him and she was going to kill him, even if she died in the process.

Melinda kissed Skye's forehead and quickly pulled her to her feet. "Come on, we have to hurry; they're going to blow the entire building.

She wasn't sure where her sudden burst of adrenaline came from but the moment she heard the plan the familiar cries filled her ears and Skye rushed towards the end of the hallway.

"Skye!" Her mother called, rushing after her.

Skye was no match for her but she fought her anyway, screaming at the top of her lungs for the baby. "She needs me! Can't you hear her? She needs our help!"

Melinda wrapped her arms around her tightly, holding her back. "She's gone, sweetheart, she's gone. You have to let her go, baby; there's no one here."

Skye began sobbing, shaking her head. She wasn't crazy. She _wasn't_ crazy.

"The baby…can't you hear…she's…" The cries grew louder and Melinda's hold on Skye faltered. Skye looked back and met her eyes, body still shaking. "Do you hear it too?"

Her mother nodded, listening for the source but it stopped.

"I'm not crazy?" Skye whispered, so sure she had been imagining the other prisoner for weeks.

"No, baby, you're not crazy…"

Skye sobbed in relief and leaned against her, her body ready to give out on her.

"Come on, love, we've got minutes before this place is ash," Hunter said, whisking her from Melinda and throwing her over his shoulder, heading for the stairs.

"No!" Skye screeched, fighting him. When she got free she made another run for it but Melinda was ahead of her, kicking open doors in pursuit.

"Bloody hell, woman! Do you have a death wish?"

Skye rounded on him angrily. "There are others here," she spat, knowing there was at least one other person here still alive. She knew many of the other subjects were dead; hell, some were even back in the room she'd been rescued from but her mother had heard the crying too…She wasn't crazy. She wasn't alone.

His eyes went wide. "Stay put," he ordered but Skye didn't know how to listen.

She hobbled after him, using the walls for support. "The baby…"

"Love, I got a good look at you, I'm sorry to say that ship has sailed."

"No," Skye hissed, ready to hit him over the head with one of these loose planks of wood. "There's a baby…I…I started hearing her a few weeks ago…I think he was…" Skye closed her eyes, nausea rolling through her. "Did they ever tell you what he did after he kidnapped me as a baby?"

That's when his experiments had started, after he'd tracked her mom and Phil down and taken what he thought was rightfully his and after years of searching for her he'd decided it was time for a do-over, at least that's what he'd told her.

"I cannot wait to find this sick fuck and butcher him," Lance growled, heading into the room at the dead end of the hallway. He emerged a moment later, running into May, both pairs of arms empty.

Skye fell to the ground, on the verge of a breakdown. She'd imagined it…it was all in her head…she really was crazy. Maybe all of her trips to that damn machine had broken her for good.

"Lose something?" Trip announced, ducking down under a crumbling piece of the ceiling as he rushed towards them from another hallway she didn't even know existed, a large bundle in his arms.

"Bloody hell…what is this little pink thing?" Lance stared down as a little fist waved in the air, reaching for his fingers. Once she took hold of one Skye could see his entire face melt and a small smile broke through his lips. "Look at her…she's per-"

"Alive…she's alive…" Skye covered her mouth, sobbing in relief. She wasn't crazy, her family had found her, and they were going home.


	7. (Skyeward) I Don't Even Know Where to St

**Title: **Fix a Heart  
**Chapter 07:** (Skyeward) I Don't Even Know Where to Start  
**Author:** snarkysweetness  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters:** Team Bus, Team Playground, Team Avengers, etc.  
**Pairings:** Skyeward, Fitzsimmons, Philinda, Triphunter, Huntingbird, Clintasha, &amp; Pepperony with past Hawkingbird, Izzy/Victoria, &amp; May/Skye's Father  
**Summary:** Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.  
**Warnings:** Angst, canon-typical violence, sexual situations, &amp; swearing.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Author's Note Uno:** I know I warned for more angst but the way I've written this is admittedly a hot mess; I've pretty much got twenty thousand words of random scenes I need to string together so you're getting some present-day things but fret not, more sad flashbacks are coming. Sorry; but I do hope WardHunter makes up for the impending sadness.  
**Author's Note Dos:** I realize most of you are reading this going 'but wait, it says it updated' and it did. I reformatted the story to make it flow better and I changed a LOT so I do HIGHLY recommend reading it over again. There will be a real new chapter by the weekend, I promise.

To say his night was rough was a gross understatement; Grant spend the night tossing and turning, fighting to shut his brain off. Eventually he gave up and simply lied on his bed, staring at the ceiling, doing his best not to and failing to think about Skye.

Skye.

Skye with a kid.

Skye in the room just a few feet from his.

Just the knowledge that she was there was enough to send him into a mild panic but throw her daughter into the mix? Grant broke into a sweat, complete with hives, giving a whole new meaning to the term 'meltdown'. He was forced to strip to his boxers and kick off all of his covers and practice breathing to keep a full-blown attack from hitting.

She was here and he still loved her. There was a kid that wasn't his and still he wanted nothing more than to be her dad. Until Skye had come along and given him hope for a future he'd never considered having a family. It just wasn't in the cards for him and now…well, they could never have that future because of what he'd done. At least, he couldn't; he would just get to witness her having it without him.

On more than one occasion he came close to throwing up the Scotch Hunter had had convinced him to drink.

Eventually, he reached a point where his brain could no longer fight his body's need for sleep but before he could fully drift off fucking Hunter filled the room with the loudest snoring Grant had ever heard in his entire life; and he'd thought sharing a wall with Jemma on the bus had been bad. Was this some English thing? Snore loudly enough to drown out an entire sleuth of hibernating bears?

How did poor Fitz and Trip handle it?

When it became clear holding his pillow tightly over his head wouldn't work Grant did the only thing his exhaustion-addled mind could think of; he threw his shoe at Hunter.

Five seconds later it came flying back at Grant, nearly hitting him in the head.

"Asshole," Grant muttered, throwing something else his way and using his pillow to block Hunter's return assault.

At least Hunter was good for something; as dawn broke Grant forgot all about obsessing over Skye. Instead he began plotting ways to get Hunter back for depriving him of much needed rest; was saran-wrap on the toilet seat still a thing?

"Time for breakfast, mate!" Hunter announced cheerfully, just as Grant was close to finally drifting off. He groaned and hid his head under his pillow, loudly cursing Hunter who simply chuckled and slipped out of their room, but not before dumping Grant's bag on his bed as if to say 'hurry up'.

His shoe hit the door, his reflexes slowed by his lack of sleep.

After a few minutes Grant groaned, deciding trying to get even five minutes of rest was futile and dragged himself out of bed. The shower helped, but he still felt like a zombie as he trudged down the hallway and to the dining room, eyes half-open, sensitive even to the dim lights of the base.

Once in the kitchen he went straight for the coffee pot, stifling a yawn as he poured a mug. The heat felt good between his palms and the smell alone bettered his mood. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had coffee and was that bacon? His stomach growled at the smell. For the first time since his prison break it hit him that his diet would no longer consist of crappy prison food.

If he opened his eyes to find Coulson he'd kiss him right there in front of everyone; he had him to thank for giving him his life back.

But when he opened his eyes he was met with a glaring May and he shrunk back against the counter, terrified.

Why had he stupidly permanently gotten on her bad side?

"Already making yourself at home there, mate," Hunter asked, clapping him on the shoulder and holding out a plate.

Grant took it and thanked him, avoiding May's death stare as he moved to the table. He hadn't even realized it but this did feel like home. Maybe it was because Skye was in the room or because the team had never stopped being his family or maybe because deep down he was nothing but an agent who felt comfortable living on a base, but this was home.

He took a seat next to Hunter and did his best not to stare but he couldn't help it; Skye's smile was enough to light up any room and right now it was so bright it warmed even the darkest parts of his heart. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her smile and she looked…she was happy and it made him happy.

Grant hid a smile by sipping more of his coffee but it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide his amusement.

"Here, mommy," Alice giggled, shoving a piece of pancake into Skye's mouth, but missing. Skye smiled, and wiped her face, reaching over to feed the baby. "No, I can do it!" And to prove it Alice began shoveling pancake into her mouth until nearly the entire thing was shoved in there. Her little eyes twinkled with amusement and Skye hid her smile behind her hands, shaking her head.

He couldn't quite place it but as she continued to stuff her adorable chipmunk cheeks she reminded him of someone. All he knew was the more time he spent in her presence the more he knew he was a goner.

How was it possible to love someone this much when you'd just met?

And when it wasn't even your child?

Shit, if she was his he'd be totally fucked.

May and Skye shared a smile and he realized that was it; the kid reminded him of Skye. But he didn't have time to compare the similarities because holy shit, Melinda May was _smiling_?

"Here, finish what's in your mouth, Linn," May scolded, taking her fork.

Alice scrunched up her nose in annoyance but reached both hands for her sippy cup of milk, washing down what was in her mouth and wiping it with her napkin like a proper lady. "More, pwease, mommy."

"Please, Alice," Jemma corrected, picking at a piece of bacon between her fingers.

"PAWEASE!" Alice repeated, exasperated.

Jemma made a face and opened her mouth but before she could speak Skye cut her off.

"She's two, Jemma, leave her alone."

Alice ignored them and reached for the pancakes on her own. Grant, not wanting to see her hurt herself, reached over and transferred another pancake to her plate. Her little eyes lit up with a smile as she dug in, no syrup needed. He watched her with a goofy smile, thoroughly amused by how big her appetite was.

She gazed up at him, stopping his breath, and gave him a huge, toothy smile; pancake falling from her mouth as she did so.

Grant hid a chuckle and she smiled again before returning her attention to her breakfast, happily humming and kicking her feet in the process. He couldn't believe this was the same child he'd seen the night before, sobbing about monsters.

Baby girl was a fighter, just like her mom.

He returned his attentions to Skye and Jemma who were still bickering.

"All I'm saying is she's advanced for her age but she won't continue to be if you allow her to form bad habits, Skye."

Skye rolled her eyes and without looking, reached over to wipe the baby's mouth. "She's two, Jemma; it's okay if she can't say words properly. You know what she's trying to say and that's what matters. Most kids her age can't string a full sentence together let alone carry on conversations the way she can."

"Precisely, but do you really want that to stop?"

"Yes, Jemma, I do. I'd like for her to have an actual childhood; not spend her time worrying about speaking the Queen's bloody English," Skye mocked, earning her a huff from Jemma.

"Bad word, mommy."

Skye leaned over and kissed the tip of Alice's nose. "Sorry, pumpkin; speaking of, do you like your pancakes?"

Alice nodded eagerly and Grant glanced down at his plate, a smile forming on his lips when he realized they were indeed pumpkin pancakes; his favorite.

"Pumpkin for my pumpkin," Skye teased, tickling her side.

Alice giggled and tried to shove more into Skye's mouth. "You eat now, mommy."

"If you insist."

"Isn't she the most precious being in this world?" Hunter whispered, watching her with a fond smile.

Grant nodded and took a bite of his breakfast, keeping his thoughts to himself. Hunter could pretend he didn't want babies all he wanted to but Grant could see it on his face; he wanted his own children badly. He understood the feeling, or rather, he understood the feeling of wanting to be a father. Watching Skye interact with her baby sister turned adopted daughter made him want to be right there with her, the two of them raising her together. It didn't matter who her biological parents were; Grant knew all too well biology meant jack shit.

Suddenly, Skye glanced up and he dropped his fork in surprise. He hadn't meant to be caught staring and he didn't want to piss her off again, especially this early in the morning. Before he could mumble an apology like an idiot she returned her attention to the baby, ignoring him. He wasn't sure which was worse; her disinterest or experiencing another lashing like she'd given him last night. Hell, maybe it was the whiplash. Last night she'd been ready to kill him for being in the same room as her daughter and now she was fine with sharing a table with him.

Then again, it wasn't as though she had a choice.

Before he could stumble back into his self-made pit of despair the baby looked up at him directly with a smile. "Mista Gwant, guess what?"

The air in the room shifted as every person at the table froze, an awkward silence filling the air. He stammered, trying to find his voice, and finally replied with a weak 'yes'.

"I am _this_ many today!" She announced proudly, holding up two fingers; one on each hand.

As he began to smile Skye shot him a look as if to say this was his fault and he immediately shrunk back, keeping a straight face. He wasn't sure which was worse; his fear or his arousal but she had a powerful effect on every part of him. As the tension grew to a boiling point Coulson came to his rescue before it could spill over and erupt.

Coulson scooped Alice up as soon as he arrived, ignoring everyone else at the table. He assaulted her with kisses, earning him a loud round of giggles from the toddler. Alice hugged him tightly with a squeal before he set her back into her mom's lap and ruffled her curls with a proud smile. "Hello, angel; what is my birthday princess up to this morning?"

"More pancake!" She demanded, banging her fork against the table, seemingly forgetting all about Grant.

"Well, someone is hungry this morning," Coulson answered, looking down at the mess she'd already made with a proud smile.

Skye rubbed Alice's back gently. "Well, grandpa, we had a long night, didn't we?" Alice seemed to remember her nightmares and stared down at her lap, frowning. Skye appeared to immediately regret her words and pressed a kiss to Alice's temple. "How about one more pancake? You want to leave room for birthday cake later, don't you?"

And just like that, Alice was back to smiling.

Grant watched her, unable to keep from smiling himself. He wished he had half of this little girl's strength. He felt eyes on him and glanced over to find Coulson watching him.

"Sorry," Grant mumbled, staring down at his plate.

"For what? It's impossible not to smile with this angel around," Coulson said, in full grandpa mode.

Alice began humming again and leaned into Coulson with a big smile.

"Did you even sleep last night, man?" Trip asked as he took the open seat next to Grant.

Grant glanced over at Hunter with a glare and shook his head. "No, an ode to hibernating bears was playing in our room without my consent," he answered bitterly.

Hunter rolled his eyes and loaded his plate up again. "Invest in some earplugs, mate."

Trip shook his head, stealing a piece of bacon from Hunter's plate. "Next time he snores like that you just-"

"Roll him onto his side," a female voice interrupted, mingling with Trip's.

Hunter froze and the tension in the room got worse. Skye glanced up with a grimace, Jemma became very interested in buttering her toast, and Coulson rubbed the bridge of his nose with a frown while May rolled her eyes. Alice, on the other hand, didn't seem to know or care that things had just become increasingly awkward because she began to beam.

"Auntie Bobbi!" She cried, jumping down and rushing over to hug the tall Amazon. Bobbi scooped Alice into her arms and hugged her, sparing Hunter a short glare, before carrying Alice back to her mother, listening intently as the toddler babbled about the flavor of her birthday cake.

"Oy! What is she doing here?" Hunter cried out in annoyance. "Doesn't she have other people's lives to ruin on that bloody boat?" Grabbing his coffee mug, Trip gave Hunter a death glare, and stood, clearly pissed off with his not-boyfriend. Hunter either ignored him or didn't notice him because all of his attentions were on Bobbi.

Bobbi, on the other hand, had completely forgotten he was in the room. "That sounds very exciting, love. By the way, happy birthday, bunny rabbit."

"Did you bring present?"

A loud chuckle rumbled out of Bobbi's chest and she kissed Alice's cheek before setting her back down in Skye's lap, giving her curls a twirl. "Of course I did, but you can't open it until your party later."

Alice huffed and Bobbi laughed, leaning over to kiss the top of Jemma's head, then Skye's, before hugging both May and Coulson. She stopped to give Ward a once over before heading for Trip who seemed to only be upset with Hunter judging by the smile he and Bobbi shared.

Relationships were weird.

Grant returned his attention to Skye and Alice, because of course he was still drawn to Skye like a damn moth to a flame. Skye was now tickling Alice's sides playfully and Alice shoved her chubby fists into her mouth in a fit of giggles. Skye hugged her against her chest and sloppily kissed her cheek. "Mommy loves you, monkey. Want to know how much?" Alice nodded eagerly and Skye pressed their foreheads together. Grant wasn't sure how that was a way to show you loved someone but a few moments later Alice began giggling.

"Well, mommy, I love you THIS many," she announced loudly, holding her little arms out as far as she could.

Skye gasped in mock shock and put both hands on her cheeks in surprise. "Oh my goodness, you love me THAT much?"

Alice nodded seriously and Skye smiled, reaching over to pull her into a tight hug. Alice squirmed around, giggling in protest because she was ticklish, but hugged Skye back, wrapping both arms around her neck and kissing her cheek sloppily.

He looked away quickly, finding this to be too much. That should be his life, his little girl; he should have been right there with them but he wasn't and he had no one to blame but himself.

Grant felt a little hang tugging on his shirt and glanced down to find the little one had materialized at his side. She stared up at him shyly, kicking her little feet, and clutching the monkey Trip had given her the night before. He looked up to find Skye watching him, unable to discern her expression, but she seemed to have approved this so he returned his focus to her mini-me.

"Well, hello there."

Alice smiled and glanced back at her mommy who gave her a nod as if to say 'go on'.

"Uh…Mista Gwant…Ava and I want you to pwease come to my birfday party," she asked, holding Ava up with an unsure smile.

He was taken aback, not knowing why she'd want him there and knowing he had to refuse; Skye may have allowed this but there was no way she wanted him anywhere near that birthday party.

Grant directed his attention to the monkey, sure it would hurt less when he spoke if he wasn't looking right at her. "Well, Ava, Alice, as much as I appreciate the invitation I'm afraid I can't." Alice's big eyes began to well up with tears so he quickly scrambled to give her a reason so she wouldn't' cry. "I don't have a present for you, sweetheart; you can't go to a party without a present, it isn't polite."

Alice smiled, swaying back and forth on her heels happily. She glanced over to her mom before jumping up and hugging Grant. It was quick, no more than a second, but it was enough to stop his heart; how was one tiny human this precious? Why did she remind him so much of Skye? Why did he love her so much already?

She rocked back on her heels and hugged her monkey close, beaming up at him. "It's okay, daddy, you can be my present," she said innocently, not knowing that her words would put him on the brink of a heart-attack and her mother on the edge of a stroke if the vein in her forehead was any indication.

Alice skipped off, her monkey trailing on the floor behind her. He shared a look with Skye, at a loss for words. She looked ready to be sick or maybe she was about to kill him but instead of doing either she went after the little one without a word.

He pushed away from the table, his appetite gone.

"She's a baby, she's just confused," Jemma began and he nodded, knowing that but still…the painful reminder that he wasn't her dad struck him deep.

"Yeah, man, at one point she thought I was her dad and then Hunter, even Fitz. After a few days she'll get over it," Trip said, trying to comfort him but it made it worse; Grant didn't want it to go away and that was the problem.

Skye was the love of his life and he wanted to be with her and to have a family and being constantly reminded that they would never be together and he'd never be that little girl's dad was like having a knife permanently in his chest, continuing to dig deeper and deeper, trying to find bone.

And it was only day one; he was going to develop a drinking problem at this rate.

"I have to go," he mumbled, rushing for the door. He was in such a hurry to get the hell out of there he didn't even notice Fitz until they nearly collided. Grant stopped himself mid-step and froze in horror. Fitz looked…well, not good. But he was still…he was still Fitz. His friend. His brother. His Fitz.

He knew he had no right to but he still loved Fitz; that would never go away. And it was clear by the look on Fitz's face that any love Fitz had once held for him was dead and long-ago buried.

"Fitz, I," Grant began to stammer but Fitz wasn't ready for it.

"I'm not hungry today, Jemma," Fitz whispered, turning quickly and shoving the doors open, storming away towards the basement.

Grant watched him go in despair; he knew he had to make things right but he didn't have a damned clue how.

How exactly did one make-up for nearly killing a friend and ruining their life?

Grant was thankful it was nearly time for his therapy session; he was already done with today and somehow he knew it would only get worse.

* * *

Alice huffed in annoyance as Skye combed a knot out of her hair. Skye glanced down at her, raising an eyebrow but said nothing. Her little monster was a bundle of impatience this morning and while Skye wanted to know why she also knew when to pick her battles. She hadn't slept much last night; too busy trying to keep from crying and knocking down Ward's door. She wasn't sure if she wanted to slap him or kiss him or both but she knew doing any of the above was a bad idea.

"There we go, hair down and messy; just like you like it," Skye announced, wishing Alice would let her braid it at least, to keep it back during meals; the kid was messy and food always wound up in her thick curls.

Alice grinned and jumped to the floor, grabbing her new stuffed monkey and tucking her dog and rabbit in for 'a nap'. She grabbed Skye's hand and tugged her towards the door, full of energy. "Come, mommy! Hurry!"

Skye chuckled and scooped up the kid, setting her back down on the bed. "Hold up, birthday girl. Just because it's your day doesn't mean mommy has to go to work without her shoes," she teased, kissing her nose before heading to the closet. Alice sighed loudly and dramatically and threw herself back onto the mattress, kicking her little legs in the air to entertain herself.

She glanced over to watch her with a smile while she threw on her shoes, pulled her hair back, and took a quick look in the mirror. She looked like crap but maybe that was a good thing; Ward had already been giving her heart-eyes, she needed to be less attractive to keep him away.

But Skye never got what she wanted.

"Finally," her exasperated toddler said, sitting up. Skye chuckled and picked her up, happy when she didn't demand to walk herself to breakfast. Skye appreciated an independent child but sometimes she wanted to be mama bear and snuggle her and kill anyone who looked at her the wrong way.

"Why are you in such a hurry this morning? Usually I can't get you out of bed, miss." Well, that used to be true, but the older she got the earlier she woke and the earlier she woke the more mornings Skye was woken to a toddler throwing herself at her and jumping around for her to wake up and make her pancakes.

Skye was sick of pancakes. When would she move on to a new favorite food? Like waffles. Skye _loved_ waffles. At least she used to; before.

Alice beamed and swung her monkey by his arms happily. "Because, mommy, I want to see daddy."

Skye halted in her tracks, her heart racing, and nausea creeping up on her. Skye closed the door and set Alice down on her desk, moving to her knees so she could look her in the eyes. "Alice, we've talked about this; you don't have a daddy." Alice's lower lip quivered and Skye resisted the urge to hug her. She didn't want to hurt her but letting her hope for a family and a father she'd never have would hurt her more in the end. Skye brushed her cheeks with a sad smile. "I'm sorry, baby, but you have me; isn't that enough?"

She knew she wasn't but she was trying; God knew how hard she was trying.

"But…mommy…" Alice reached behind her and for the first time Skye realized the book was not where she'd hidden it last night. Alice held out the picture of Skye and Grant and stared up at Skye in confusion, fat tears welling up in her eyes. "Daddy?"

Skye took the picture and held her hands to her lips, trying not to cry. She couldn't do this, not now. "Sweetheart…what were you doing in mommy's desk?"

"I'm sorry, mommy, don't be mad," Alice whimpered and Skye immediately hugged her against her chest, running her hands through her hair to calm her.

"It's okay, baby," Skye whispered, pulling her up and hugging her tighter. This is why she didn't want him here; she knew it would confuse her. No matter how far down Skye tried to shove her feelings for him when your kid read minds it was impossible to hide it. In Alice's mind if two people loved each other they should be a mommy and daddy; she was too young to understand that wasn't how life worked.

Skye sat down and placed Alice in her lap. She reached down, wiped her tears, and tussled a few of her drying curls before meeting her eyes. "I know it's confusing, baby girl, but Agent Ward is here to work; that's it. He and mommy…we're not friends anymore. I know you want a daddy and I'm sorry I can't give one to you but at least you have me and grandma and grandpa; that's a lot more than mommy ever had." Skye understood her daughter's wants all too well; it was hard to deny her something she herself had wanted so badly but what choice did she have? This was the situation they were in and maybe she didn't get it right one-hundred percent of the time but Alice was her number one priority.

"His name is Gwant, mommy," Alice whispered, clutching her monkey.

Skye sighed with a nod and took her hand. "Okay, you can call him Grant but remember…mommy doesn't want you spending too much time with him, okay?"

Alice nodded with a pout. "Because he makes mommy sad?"

_More like because he broke my heart, knocked me up, left me to deal with it on my own, broke Fitz, and is a murderer._

Skye nodded and squeezed Alice's hand. "And mommy doesn't want you to have more bad dreams…when Grant was little his family wasn't nice, like how mommy's daddy was. Mommy doesn't want you to see that, okay?" She knew it was a lot to expect a kid to understand she was doing this to keep her safe but Skye didn't know what she'd do if Alice suffered even more trauma. Skye had failed her enough for ten lifetimes.

"Okay mommy but can he come to my birfday party? He is sad too, mommy; maybe party make him happy."

It took everything in Skye not to burst into tears. She pulled Alice into another hug and held her tight, fighting off tears. Even with all of the bad in her biological family she was still an angel with the biggest heart who loved everyone. And she was right, he was…Skye still couldn't forgive him and her feelings for him were a mess but he looked like he'd been through hell; just like she had. Besides, how was she supposed to tell her baby 'no' on her special day?

Skye pulled away and helped Alice to her feet. "It's your birthday; you can invite anyone you want. But remember, no touching or being too close to him for too long, baby. Mommy and Auntie Jemma still don't know how your powers work and we just want you safe." And sometimes her little flashes were transferable and despite how she felt about him sometimes, he didn't need to relive anything from his childhood. Skye had witnessed first-hand how much it affected him and she really did want him to get better and to be better and to move on with his life.

But she would never put that pressure on her child.

"Come on, mommy, let's go!" Alice pulled Skye out of the room, almost running towards the kitchen. Skye smiled and followed her, not really in the mood for food but she knew her little one would eat enough for the both of them.

"_My niece is going to be a fat baby."_

"_Her daddy was a fat baby."_

"MOMMY!" Skye hadn't realized she'd stopped walking and continued on, using one hand to absently rub at the scar above her pelvis; Skye wasn't sure if her appetite for food or life would ever return but she had very visible reminders of when they had left her.

Breakfast was its normal affair of Alice making a mess, her grandmother cooing over her, and Skye pretending to be interested in her piece of toast. At least, it was until _he_ walked in. Maybe 'walk' wasn't the right word; Skye had seen zombie movies where the walking dead had more life than he did. She gave him a quick once-over, not wanting to be caught staring, and hid a frown behind her teacup.

His features were hidden by the beard still on his face but Skye could see how thin and shallow his face was. And his face wasn't the only place he'd lost weight; he was leaner but not in a good way. She could see he'd attempted to stay as fit as he could while locked up in solitary confinement but his muscle mass was lacking, his ribs were visible, and he looked…well, he looked _weak_.

Skye knew he'd have to go back into training hard to make-up for the two and half years he'd been incarcerated but she didn't think it would be this bad. He was going to have to train long and hard and pile on the carbs and proteins if he was going to return to the strong soldier she'd fallen for.

She stared down at the baby, needing something to smile about. He was going to suffer trying to build the strength he'd need to keep them safe and knowing he'd do so without complaint because it was for her nearly left Skye in tears.

Couldn't she go back to two days ago, before she'd seen him, when she could ignore the fact that she still loved him? Hating him was so much easier.

It was damn hard to keep it up with him in her presence and with her dad and three of her best friends all rooting for him.

Traitors.

Skye did her best to ignore him but it was impossible to when she could feel how much he loved her radiating off of him like a damn space heater. She'd never felt anyone's emotions this strongly before, not even May's, but her powers were in full-effect today. She spared him a few glances, his aura radiating a strong, pink glow, and each time she caught him smiling but not at her; like everyone else who met her he was completely enamored with the little girl in Skye's lap.

She pressed a kiss to the top of Alice's head, trying to keep her own emotions in check. She knew he still loved her, it was why he was here; because he'd do anything for her. What she hadn't expected was how much he'd love Alice; and not this soon. She'd known the moment he laid eyes on her that she had a problem; not only had he taken one look at her little girl and fallen completely head-over-heels for her but the little one had imprinted on him.

Alice was smart; too smart for Skye's blood pressure. She knew Ward loved them both and she'd made up her mind; she wanted a daddy and she was going to get one whether Skye liked it or not.

And Skye couldn't fault Ward for the feelings he was sending their way; they had loved each other and if things had been different they would all be a family. But he'd betrayed her and her life was a mess and he couldn't be in their life, no matter how much he wanted to be or how much Alice wanted him to be or even how much Skye wanted the man she'd fallen for back.

Grant Ward was a danger to everyone who loved him; Skye couldn't trust that he'd changed enough to be back in her life and even if she did she couldn't let her baby girl be a weapon his enemies could use against him. She'd already been used by her father; she didn't need even more pain in her life.

Skye's resolve was firm, she was not going to let his broody, dreamy eyes distract her or the very clear bond between him and Alice ruin things; but she'd be lying if seeing him interact with her baby girl and seeing the way she lit up when she looked at him didn't stir something in her.

Her fingers fluttered over her middle for a moment and guilt gnawed away at her.

Maybe Grant wasn't the one Alice needed protection from.

When Alice spoke to him, Skye stopped breathing. The love coming from him was too much and combined with Alice's happiness from finally having him here…Skye didn't mean to blame it on Ward, but things had been fine before he'd come back. She'd been able to mostly ignore her own abilities, her child wasn't in danger of being caught up in his web, and she wouldn't be feeling this sick knot in her stomach.

She was thankful for her dad but it didn't stop the fear now settling in her chest. There was so much he didn't know, so much he _couldn't_ know, and so much Alice already knew that she would someday understand. Skye's biggest fear was losing her; she'd lost so much already but she knew one day her baby girl was going to become aware of everything and she could very well lose her.

Having Grant back in her life only made Skye sure that day would come even sooner.

He always seemed to ruin everything.

"Mommy, Uncle Lance's head gon' 'splode!" Alice whispered, staring at her uncle, trying not to giggle. Skye had to admit he did look like an idiot, peacocking in front of Bobbi. Poor Trip, Hunter was so clearly still in love with Bobbi; it was a bit pathetic to be honest.

Skye kissed the top of Alice's head and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "It's because he loves Auntie Bobbi but he's too dumb to tell her."

Alice pressed her fists to her mouth and giggled. "Do you love me, mommy?"

Skye gasped in mock horror. "Of course mommy loves you, monkey. Want to know how much?" Alice nodded happily and Skye pressed her forehead to Alice's, channeling what little control she did have of her own powers and sent the little one every bit of love she had for her along with images proving how much. This was the nice part of their shared abilities; the connection. It was also the terrible part.

They were connected on a biological and emotional level that meant Skye couldn't hide anything from her and it was a problem; there were some things, some memories, some feelings that a child didn't need to be subjected to.

Skye pushed those thoughts away and instead showed Alice the first time she held her, when she was a few weeks old, and Skye embraced how much she loved this little person.

Alice giggled, a sound that made everything else, all of the bad stuff, all of her worries, seem completely worth it; because at the end of the day all of the pain and sacrifice was for her and boy, was she worth it.

"Mommy," Alice whispered, leaning in conspiratorially, "can I ask Mista Gwant to my party now?" Skye didn't have the heart to go back on her word so she nodded, earning her a toothy grin, and watched in despair as Alice skipped over to him happily, her poor monkey dragging along the floor behind her.

Skye kept her eyes on Alice, knowing looking at him would be a bad idea. It was bad enough she could feel everything he was feeling; why she didn't know. Maybe it was because of everything they'd been through but it was like she was connected to him in a way she couldn't be with anyone else; or maybe she just couldn't shove these damn abilities down anymore with him to worry about too.

She appreciated his attempt to back out but the poor bastard had no idea how Alice could play you; a few tears, a pout, a small whine was all it took for her to wrap you completely around her finger. She'd done it to Hunter at five weeks old and she hadn't stopped since.

And then her kid said the one thing that would send Skye for the bottom of a bottle later; she called him 'daddy', to his face, in front of everyone. Her heart raced, her palms went moist, and she was sure she was going to vomit. She'd been afraid of this; it was why she'd told Coulson they should send her away with Fitz, to keep them both away from him. This could not be happening, not this soon. She'd expected it down the line; how could she not? But in less than twenty-four hours?

Skye rushed off after Alice, who knew better than to wander around the base alone. She caught up with her outside of the common room, where a few of her toys were still scattered about, yesterday being far too an eventful of a day to worry about putting things away.

"Alice Linn, you know you're not supposed to run off on your own, I don't care if it is your birthday."

"I'm not alone, mommy; I'm with you," she answered cheerfully, sitting down in front of a coloring book.

Skye pinched the bridge of her nose, cursing her luck; if this was how she was at two how bad would it be when she was sixteen? If Skye ever got her hands on Seamus MacDougal she was going to choke the life out of him with her bare hands; he'd robbed Skye of a happy childhood and now he'd robbed Alice of a normal one.

Kids needed time to grow up slowly and be kids, not be forced to live on their own at fifteen or be in people's minds, developing more quickly than their brains could handle.

Skye took a seat across from Alice and reached for her. Alice looked up at her guiltily, reading she'd done something wrong. "I'm sorry, mama, I forgot."

Skye sighed; of course she already knew what she'd done wrong.

"Baby girl…this is all to keep you safe; it's _always_ been to keep you safe. You know that," Skye whispered, close to tears. She was trying to keep it together, like she had been for years, but Skye was slowly breaking.

Alice arranged her crayons on the table, avoiding Skye's gaze, and shrugged once they were all lined up. "I know, mommy, but you love daddy and daddy loves mommy and me." She looked down sadly. "Why mommy doesn't want me to have my daddy?"

Skye fought back tears and moved to pull Alice into her lap. She pushed her hair back and held her against her chest, trying to think of a way that would make sense to a child and coming up empty. The best she could do was be honest and hope she understood.

"I do love him and I will always love him but sweetheart, I love you more. He's done bad things, baby, things that hurt people. And mommy doesn't think he'd ever hurt you on purpose but I can't risk him doing it on accident. You are the only thing in this world that matters to me; I know you're too little to understand that but if it were up to me I'd give you everything you want but I can't. But I am doing my best, okay? I promise you, baby, I'm doing my best."

Alice ran her sleeve under her nose with a sniffle. "But if you love how come you no can keep me safe together like other mommies and daddies?"

Skye turned her head so Alice wouldn't see the tear that spilled down her cheek. "Just because you love someone doesn't mean you're supposed to be together," she whispered. "And not all families have a mommy and a daddy, sweetie. And that's okay. You have a big family filled with people who love you; isn't that enough?"

"Yes, but I want daddy," she whispered, close to tears.

Skye kissed her temple and hugged her tighter. "Me too, baby; me too."

* * *

"_But I want daddy." _

"_Me too, baby; me too."_

He hadn't meant to walk in and eavesdrop on their conversation. In fact, half-way through his miserable descent to the therapist's office he realized he didn't actually know where it was; he didn't know where anything was. He'd been to Coulson's office, the common room, the kitchen, and his own bedroom but there was still an entire base to explore; something he'd have to get Hunter to do with him. Grant knew full well it would make other agents uncomfortable to see him poking around on his own.

When he arrived, hoping to find someone who could point him in the right direction he did a one-eighty, not wanting to be alone in a room with Skye; she'd made her feelings clear. But then she said the one thing that not only stopped him in his tracks but left his heart beating so fast he was sure it would erupt from his chest and make a run for it.

"_I do love him and I always will."_

He couldn't breathe; Skye still…Sure, he'd hoped. She'd saved his life after all. And that hope had kept him going through the darkest times of his recovery but he hadn't really thought she still…after all this time…

"_Just because you love someone doesn't mean you're supposed to be together."_

And then his heart sank to the pit of his stomach.

She was right.

He wasn't fit to be anywhere near a child.

It was less than a year ago when he'd had his last hallucination and his last suicide attempt had only been a few months ago. He wasn't in the right mind frame to be responsible for anyone else, let alone a child. Therapy was helping, now that he was letting it, but he still had so much work to do.

And even when that work was done…he knew there was nothing that could ever fix what he'd done to her. His broken-heart was nothing compared to what she must have gone through. Skye was the love of his life and he would never stop loving her or move on but deep down he knew they could never be together; Skye deserved better than him. She always had.

Even though Skye didn't want him around she had asked for his help and he planned to do everything he could to not only help S.H.I.E.L.D. and keep them safe but to also stay away from her and her daughter as much as possible.

Hearing from her own lips that she still loved him and wanted to believe in him was something he'd wanted for so long. And knowing there was someone who believed in him, who wanted him…Grant didn't want to ever do anything to take that innocent belief away from her little girl but he knew if he let himself get close to her, if he gave her hope…

Grant was fully aware that he disappointed everyone who ever thought he was worth something and the he destroyed everyone who made the mistake of loving him; Skye and Fitz were living proof of that.

He was going to grant Skye's wish; he'd stay away from her little girl. Alice was a sweet, kind, innocent child who had already been through too much in her short life. Maybe in another life he could have been good enough to be her father and to be with Skye but in this life, in their reality he could never be a good fit for anyone; it was in both of their best interests to not have him in their life.

Grant vowed to do whatever he could to keep them both safe, including keeping his distance; not that it could ever stop him from loving them both.

After all of the things he'd done, with all of the bad still inside of him, doing some good was the least he could do. Maybe someday he'd do enough of it to earn the trust this little girl had already put in him. He'd never do enough to be worthy of her or her mother but maybe little Alice would be the one person in this life that he didn't disappoint.

Grant slipped through the door but not before catching Skye's eye. She watched him for a long moment and he stood in silence, unable to take his eyes off of her. She was still the most beautiful person he'd ever seen; inside and out. She always had been too good for him.

He turned away, planning to keep his promise to stay away, but his way was blocked by Trip who gave him a shit-eating grin before shoving past him.

"Someone has an appointment with Dr. Jemma," he announced, scooping Alice up into his arms.

"No want," Alice cried, crossing her arms defiantly.

Trip laughed and kissed her temple. "Come on, kid; Agent Ward and your mommy need to have a talk."

Skye shot Trip a glare but Grant could see her heart wasn't really in it; her eyes were back on him and he knew this had to happen. They still had to work together, they still lived in the same base, and even though he wanted to stay away and she wanted him to do the same they still had to talk things out. He owed her a million apologies and explanations and while he was dreading the other talks he still needed to have the one with her was the one that mattered the most to him because he'd hurt her the most and she was still the most important person in the world to him.

"Okay, Uncle Trip," Alice replied with a smile, giving Grant a wink as Trip carried her past him.

Grant tried and failed to hide a smile, still in awe of the little girl; were all children this amazing or was she just special?

Skye stood, wiping her hands on her jeans nervously. Grant took one step into the room but made no other moves to get closer to her. He wanted her to be comfortable and even though they loved each other he knew his presence was the last thing she wanted.

They stared at each other for the longest minute of his life.

"This shouldn't be so awkward," Skye whispered, breaking the silence.

Grant shrugged, scratching the back of his head to have something to do. "That's my fault."

"It is," she said, taking a step forward, "but maybe I don't help in that department."

Grant didn't know what to say so he kept his mouth shut, waiting for her to speak. Skye toyed with the back of the sofa and took another step forward and then another, until they were standing close enough for him to make out the dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Skye whispered, taking him by surprise.

"If anyone needs to apologize, Skye, it isn't you; you've done nothing wrong."

She gave him a half-smile and his heart clenched in pain.

"I'm sorry about earlier; she really wants a dad and she found pictures of us and I think it confused her. I know when you first saw her you thought…" Skye glanced down, unable to look at him as she spoke. "I know what you thought so hearing her say that…" She looked up again, meeting his eyes. "It must have been painful and no matter what happened between us in the past, I would never intentionally hurt you."

Once again instinct took over; tears filled her eyes and before he could stop himself his arms were around her, holding her against his chest, one hand buried in her curls. "I know you wouldn't; you're too good," he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

Skye didn't pull away, instead she hugged him tightly, pressing her face into his shirt. He could feel her tears on his chest and he knew if he looked down he'd see something he never wanted to see; her in pain.

"I'm sorry," Skye whispered, still making no moves to leave.

Grant gave her a squeeze, trying not to cry himself. "Me too, Skye; you'll never know how much."

She slowly drew away, her arms still around him, and stared up at him, eyes red, face wet, shaking her head. "No; I know. I can…" She linked one hand with his and moved it over her heart, lips trembling through a sob. Skye licked tears off her lips and took a quaking breath, composing herself. "I _know_," she whispered as a wave of regret washed over him and he realized that Alice wasn't the only gifted person on this base.

Grant smiled, finding this bittersweet; he'd always known she was special but not like this.

"I'll do whatever I can to make things right," he promised, pressing his lips to her forehead, letting them linger while she clutched his hand even tighter.

After a long moment, Skye let go of his hand and stepped back; the loss of her warmth leaving him colder than he could ever remember feeling.

"I'll try to get her to stop but…" Skye fought off tears and reached up to wipe her cheeks. "I'm not enough for her and she knows that and she wants what I can't give her so I can't make any promises."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Grant replied before he could stop himself. He took a step forward, touching her cheek with his palm. "You're enough, Skye; you always have been."

Grant didn't know how a person could still be this beautiful covered in tears but she was and when Skye reached up to cover his hand with hers and took a step forward she took his breath away. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her and the look she gave him…he didn't need special abilities to know she really did still love him.

Skye's chin tilted and she leaned closer; for a brief moment he was sure she was going to kiss him but then she abruptly stepped away from him and whatever connection they'd just been sharing broke, snapping back and leaving a pain in his chest.

"I'm…I'm glad you're here and you're safe and you're getting help but…I'm sorry, I can't do this," she whispered, her voice breaking.

"Skye, I'm sorry," he called, instinctively going after her but she was long gone.

Somehow, without meaning to, he'd not only broken his promise but he'd broken his own heart even further.

* * *

Skye rushed off, hoping no one saw her flight through the halls, tears streaming down her face. She didn't stop until she reached a supply closet in the basement and used it to hide, leaning against the door to continue sobbing, both arms around her middle, keeping her upright.

What she wanted didn't matter, she reminded herself. Her feelings for him didn't matter. She had to keep this up, had to keep being the bad guy, had to keep denying her heart what it wanted. Because at the end of the day that little girl was the only thing that mattered.

But damn if the pain in her chest wasn't crippling.

And the fact that she wasn't the only one in pain made what she'd been forced to do a million times harder.


	8. (Skye) I Just Ran Out of Band-Aids

**Title: **Fix a Heart  
**Chapter 08:** (Skye) I Just Ran Out of Band-Aids  
**Author:** snarkysweetness  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters:** Team Bus, Team Playground, Team Avengers, etc.  
**Pairings:** Skyeward, Fitzsimmons, Philinda, Huntingbird, TripHunter, Clintasha, KaraMike, BuckyKate, &amp; Pepperony with past Hawkingbird, Izzy/Victoria, &amp; Melinda/Hyde  
**Summary:** Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.  
**Warnings:** Angst, canon-typical violence, sexual situations, &amp; swearing.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Author's Notes:** I know it's been 84 years but I'm back. My health hasn't been well for a little over a year and while I am doing my best to write a little every day some days are worse than others so I ask for patience while I catch up on posting. Another chapter will be posted very soon. Feedback is very much appreciated.

_**Two nights ago (October 21, 2016)**_

When Skye returned home the base was eerily quiet, setting off the panic alarm in the back of her mind. There wasn't a soul in sight which was worrying all on its own, but even more so because her family wasn't lingering about, waiting to fuss over her like usual. Where was her mother waiting to see how seeing Grant Ward after all this time had affected her baby girl? Why wasn't her dad hovering over her, grilling her on the encounter? Where was Trip to offer her a bottle of Scotch and an escape with some excuse about needing her help on a mission? Why wasn't Hunter drunk and waiting to make inappropriate jokes about her making a conjugal visit to her 'Hydra boyfriend'? And most importantly; why wasn't her little rabbit rushing over to greet her because she'd refused to go to bed until her mommy was home?

Warily, Skye discarded her bag on the kitchen table and checked the microwave for the time. It was barely past nine; far too early for _everyone_ to be in bed, especially a base filled with restless agents and scientists.

Doing her best not to assume the worst she grabbed a bottle of water and headed down to the dorms. As soon as she was sure her baby girl was safe she would track down her dad to make sure nothing horrible had happened in the six hours she'd been gone; the last time the base had been this empty an army of homicidal robots had been set loose to terrorize the world and the last thing they needed to deal with right now was another clusterfuck like that.

Skye opened her bedroom door, intending to peek in before she could wake the baby, but fear rushed through her as she found Alice's bed empty.

"Dad!" Skye cried out in a panic as terror filled every vein in her body.

Skye raced down the hall, towards his room, not caring that she was on the brink of a meltdown. This was not an overreaction. She had every right to assume the worse. Her baby had been kidnapped, tortured, and used as an experimental test subject all before she was a month old. Skye would tear down every door in this building until she found her if she had to. The constant state of fear she lived in was completely justifiable. Not just because being a parent meant always being worried about the welfare of your child but because there was a literal madman who had gotten hold of her child once and was out to get a hold of her again.

The measly bagel she'd forced herself to eat this morning crept back up and she fought down the urge to vomit as she barreled down to the door to the room her mom and Coulson shared. Before she could break it down her dad appeared, already in his pajamas, perfectly calm, a sight which sent anger flaring through her chest.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I will tell you what!" She yelled, ready to rip him a new one when she caught a peak of Alice resting peacefully in her mother's arms.

Relief washed over her and Skye collapsed against the doorframe, struggling to control her racing heart by taking deep breathes. Her baby was in her sights, safe, and for once in bed at a reasonable hour. She should feel better but the truth was the fear that her father would come back for her would always win out over reason and a sick ball of tension settled in her stomach, forcing nausea to creep back up.

"She's okay?" Skye whispered, mostly to herself, but needing the confirmation as she struggled not to burst into tears.

Her dad glanced back at the sleeping pair before carefully closing the door.

"She's safe, sweetheart," he promised as he reached for Skye but she pulled away from him, in no mood for dad comfort right now. She was still furious.

"I got home and she wasn't in her bed, dad. Do you know what that feels like? You could have sent me a text or left a note so I knew where she was."

He glanced down at her, eyes going dark. "Yes, Skye, I do know what that's like."

Of course he did, after a pregnant May had left Seamus for Phil they'd gotten a few short weeks of parental bliss with baby Skye before she'd been taken. And unlike Alice, whom Skye had gotten to bring home, her parents had spent over twenty years believing Skye was dead.

But instead of feeling guilty for the reminder, Skye felt validation in her anger.

"Then you know why you can't just take her without telling me, dad!"

"We didn't take her anywhere, Skye! She played until she passed out and when I was carrying her to bed she woke up crying that she wanted to sleep with grandma. Your mother read to her until they both fell asleep and I was just about to call you when you came thundering down the hall like the place was on fire."

"You still should have told me," Skye whispered, fighting back tears. Maybe she was overreacting a bit, her dad didn't deserve this, but he of all people understood her very real fears.

He held up both hands in defeat and carefully walked towards her. "You're right. I'm sorry. But Skye…she's growing up. She's not always going to be where you assign her to be. You can't carry on like this, losing your mind because you don't know where she is at every minute of every day.

Trust me, this is the safest place in the world for her. And if anything ever happened to her you'd know because your mother would start a war over her."

He had a point. Nothing bad had ever happened to her inside these walls, which was another area of guilt for her. She couldn't keep her safe without keeping her prisoner. If it were up to Skye they'd live in a small house near the beach with a big yard for a dog but a normal life had never been in the cards for Skye so why would it be for her daughter?

"The last time the base was this quiet it was because you deployed every field agent to rescue civilians in Sokovia and not everyone made it back, remember?"

Okay, now she felt bad. She could see the guilt lining every inch of his face. What happened in Sokovia wasn't his fault. The fallout of the Accords wasn't his fault. Everything wrong with S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't his fault. He was doing his best to rebuild a secret spy organization which wasn't easy when they were still branded as terrorists and with the majority of the Avengers hiding out as fugitives.

"I just…if you'd walked through those doors to find everyone gone and then to find me gone you'd be a mess too."

Coulson reached over and kissed the top of her head, making her feel like a little girl. But at least she felt safe. Maybe he wasn't her biological father but Phil Coulson was the best dad anyone could have and she was lucky enough that he was hers.

"So…she had fun tonight? Did you feed her something other than ice cream for dinner?" Skye wanted nothing more than to go scoop her out of bed and hug her until morning but that wouldn't help her tiger-mom image.

Her dad had the gall to look offended but Skye knew him too well; Alice could con him into anything simply by batting her eyes. It was pathetic. He was a grown man, director of an underground spy organization, and he couldn't say 'no' to a toddler.

"I will have you know she had two whole slices of pizza for dinner." Skye resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Pizza was not her idea of a healthy dinner but it was better than chips and candy. "And she beat Fitz at a very rousing game of Minnie Mouse Matching."

Poor Fitz. He was a sore loser to begin with but he did not take kindly to losing to a toddler. Especially at memory games. His ego still hadn't adjusted to take his recovery into account.

"I'll have to tell her to take it easy on him next time."

They shared a smile and Skye realized she felt a lot better.

"So, where is everyone? Don't tell me Tony fucked up again while I was gone? I'm pretty sure Pepper will leave him for good this time." Everyone knew the baby was the only reason she hadn't left him after the mess he'd gotten the Avengers into…again.

Coulson rolled his eyes. "No, Skye. You know, everything that goes wrong around here isn't Tony's fault."

"No, sometimes it's Nick's," she responded with a cheeky grin.

Her dad pinched the bridge of his nose. Ah, her work here was done.

"Everyone went out for drinks."

Skye furrowed her brows in surprise. Her dad had allowed fun, on his watch? But what if his fugitive agents were spotted at a local bar! Whatever would he do!

She touched the back of her hand to his forehead. No fever, strange. Was this actually her dad or a pod person sent to impersonate him? She looked him over. He looked like her dad but…

"On a scale of Captain America dying to you meeting Captain America, how do you feel?"

"Skye," he scolded, annoyed.

"What? If you're allowing people to have fun, then you must be a Kree-Imposter. Or a robot! Or both!"

"Glad to see you're feeling better," he replied dryly.

He had himself to blame for this; she took after him in the little shit department.

"Seriously. Since when are we allowed to have lives? Aren't you worried they'll be spotted and arrested? You'd have to have a damn good reason to decide a night on the town was worth the risk. Especially tonight of all-" Skye sighed, realization hitting her. "Right…because of Ward."

She supposed the entire team needed a drink to prepare for his arrival.

"Skye," he started, having the decency to look guilty.

"It's fine…I should take Alice to bed. Going to need to rest up for all of the 'there's Skye's evil Hydra boyfriend' whispers tomorrow." She couldn't wait. Because dealing with him wouldn't be bad enough, dealing with everyone's hatred of him and suspicion of her was just what she needed to start her week.

"It's late, honey, and she's already asleep. She can stay with me and your mom tonight. I know it'll be hard but you need a good night's sleep more than anyone, angel, and you'll do it better if you're not worrying about her." He touched her cheek and inspected the deep, dark bags under her eyes with his worried dad expression.

While it would be physically painful for her to be away from Alice for that long Skye knew he had a valid point. She hadn't gotten a real night's rest in over two years. If the baby wasn't having nightmares, Skye was having them. And on the rare nights that weren't filled with bad dreams there were the memories of what was and what could have been. Then the guilt. And the sadness. And the missing him. And hating him. Hating him was the most exhausting.

When Skye got more than three solid hours of sleep it was a miracle. She knew she should take one of the sleeping pills her therapist had prescribed but the baby was more important than getting a good night's rest. And if Skye took one of those stupid things she wouldn't be there for her if she woke up screaming from a nightmare, or worse, if someone broke in to kidnap her again.

Skye wrestled with the decision before deciding that if she was going to survive tomorrow she'd need some sleep. "Fine, but…" She sighed, knowing sneaking in to give Alice a goodnight kiss would only wake her.

"Does she have Madigan with her?" If Alice woke up without her stuffed bunny all hell would break lose.

"Of course."

Skye didn't know how to do this. With the exception of the first few nights after they'd been rescued, when Skye had remained in a state of shock, unable to even look at Alice, they hadn't been apart.

"All right…goodnight."

Skye lingered, wondering if twenty-eight was too old to sleep in your parent's bed. Before she could make the decision that no, it wasn't, her dad kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, Skye."

Right, it was time to go. But she couldn't. And it wasn't just because she couldn't walk away from her child but because if she left it would be mean being alone and if she had to be alone she would replay that scene with Ward over and over in her head until she lost all resolve to do what she had to do tomorrow.

"_Wait! I need to tell you-"_

"_There's no time, _tomorrow_."_

"_Skye!" _

"No_." _

"_Skye, I still-"_

He still loved her. He didn't need to say the words for her to know. It'd been written all over his face. But that hadn't stopped her from needing to use the stone wall outside the interrogation room to support her as she sobbed over him trying to tell her. As if she didn't already know. As if him saying the words would change what she needed to do to keep Alice safe.

And knowing he was still willing to risk his life for her after she'd thrown him away…that he needed her to know how he felt so she wouldn't be uncomfortable working with him…he made it really hard to keep up the lie that she hated him.

Because, it was a lie. A lie she'd had to tell herself for years to justify the guilt she felt about the decisions she'd been forced to make.

Her dad pulled her into a hug and she was grateful. She'd needed a hug, badly, and of course he could sense it; it was his job to know what she needed.

"Skye, I know bringing Ward here, letting him back into your life is going to be hard but it's necessary to keep her safe," he whispered, cradling her head against his chest. "I wouldn't allow this if it wasn't a last resort, Skye. I would never put you through that if I had a choice."

She fought the urge to cry and pressed her face against the crook of his arm. "I know daddy," she whispered, not wanting to admit that if there was a choice she would still bring him home. Seeing him again had unleased a floodgate of emotions she'd spent two years shoving down into the deepest, darkest parts of her soul. While she wasn't ready to forgive him, she desperately wanted to. Grant Ward was the root of every inner conflict she struggled with. She loved him but she couldn't trust him. She missed him but she couldn't forgive him. She needed him back as a partner to keep Alice safe but she couldn't stop feeling if she'd just forgiven him enough to do this years ago she wouldn't even be in danger to begin with.

Because if she had just accepted that her wounded pride wasn't worth as much as his life she would have gone to see him when Coulson had first asked her to and maybe all of this could have been avoided. He didn't deserve her forgiveness, not back then certainly, but he deserved to know the truth and if he had…maybe it would have been him with her that day. Or maybe he would have been locked up in a S.H.I.E.L.D. prison and accessible to the team when she'd been taken. Any number of scenarios could have taken place that would have saved their daughter's life and given her a real life.

Skye finally understood him, as he'd once told her he would. When it came to the ones you love you would do anything to keep them safe. And he'd loved John Garrett.

And while she understood why he'd done what he'd done to her, the team, to Fitz…her love for him made her incapable of coming to terms with the fact that she hadn't been enough for him. He loved her but he'd loved John more. He'd had a choice to make after John had nearly killed her and he'd made the wrong choice.

If he had just picked her everything would be different.

They would have been together. He would have kept her safe. They would be a happy little family.

And she'd have a child who have had everything.

Instead Alice was stuck with a mother who gave her everything she could but couldn't give her everything she needed. Skye loved that little girl more than every other person in this world. She would go the ends of the Earth for her and burn everything in her path if it meant keeping her safe. Skye would die for her, and she nearly had, and still that wasn't enough. Because the thing her baby girl wanted more than anything was a father and it was the one thing Skye couldn't give her.

Skye hadn't been enough for Grant and now she wasn't enough for that little girl.

She had never been good enough for any of the families who had tossed her out like trash, why would it be different now?

Skye was unable to hold back a sob and she began to shake in her dad's arms, the tears coming like a dam had broken. He held her tighter and kissed her temple, doing his best to calm her, only it wasn't okay. Nothing was okay.

Up until tonight she'd been able to keep all of her insecurities bottled down but his hold over her was too strong. How was she going to keep her resolve to keep him at arm's length when she couldn't go seeing him for three minutes without losing her damn mind?

"I'm not going to let him hurt either of you."

She almost laughed aloud. If only he knew these weren't tears of fear but rather tears of knowing she'd never been enough for man she loved to be a good man and she wasn't a good enough mother to make up for Alice's lack of a father.

She pulled away from him and wiped at her eyes angrily. She couldn't do this, wallow in self-pity, or waste tears on a man who hadn't loved her enough to be honest with her. He'd made his choice and no amount of regrets or longing would change the fact that he was to blame for his own action and his actions were partially to blame for the situation she was in.

Coulson wiped a stray tear off of her cheek and gave her a look filled with so much love she almost began to weep.

While it was true the two loves of her life didn't love her as much as she loved them her parents loved her more than she could have ever imagined she would be loved by someone. Maybe she wasn't good enough to most people but to them? To them she was everything and she would forever be grateful that they'd found each other.

"Do you want me to make you a sandwich or something, sweetheart? I'll stay up with you until you can fall asleep," he offered, worried.

"I'm fine," she lied, putting on a fake smile. "I'm exhausted…but if she wakes up just bring her to me, okay? You and mom shouldn't be up all night trying to get her back to sleep." She began to walk away, knowing if she didn't leave now she'd let him sucker into letting him perform his 'daddy will fix this' routine and she didn't want to spend the night sobbing in his arms like a child. She was a mom now; she didn't have the luxury of that anymore.

"Wait," he called with hesitation. "There's a file on your desk but save it for the morning. Just try to sleep, please?" He pleaded guiltily. He still had an issue toeing the line between being her dad and being her boss. While her boss had left work for her to do her dad was worried she'd stay up all night doing it.

Skye gave him a smile, knowing full well she wouldn't sleep tonight, but sometimes a lie wasn't the worst thing. Not if it was to spare the other person pain. "I will daddy, goodnight."

She kissed his cheek and made her way back to her room.

While she was ready to pass out from exhaustion, she knew sleep wouldn't come tonight. There was too much on her mind. Some work was just what she needed as a distraction. She left the light off and kicked off her shoes, far too tired to bother with a shower or a change of clothes. She flipped on her desk lamp and reached for the file, intending at least read it in bed until she was too tired to see anymore, but stopped in her tracks when she saw the name on the file.

What the hell was he trying to do? Break her? As if seeing Ward wasn't bad enough, now he was going to force _this_ on her?

She was so sick and tired of him trying to get her involved in his progress in prison. She knew he just wanted to help, to show her that her decision to send him to prison hadn't been wasted, that he'd gotten better, and that he was working on being a better man but that didn't mean he had the right to try to force it on her.

She loved her dad but his willingness to forgive Ward and his desire to want to be the one to fix him was a source of constant tension between them and honestly? She did not have the strength to put up with this tonight.

Skye threw the file on her desk, deciding to go ahead with the shower when a photo caught her eye. She reached down to where the contents of the file had strewn across her desk and picked up a horrifying photograph. She held it in both hands and allowed her jaw to drop as she sat on the edge of her bed.

Her entire body went cold as a few tears escaped her eyes. She ran her fingertip over his face and tried not to let her overwhelming guilt take over.

Would he have done this if she'd just gotten over her wounded pride and read his letters? Talked to him? Allowed him to serve his time in one of the vaults? Would it have mattered if she'd been the bigger person and tried to help him, like her dad had?

Or had his own guilt and shame been too strong?

How was he still alive?

She turned her eyes away from the bloody photograph and reached for his file again. She opened it and turned to his medical records, reading, three times, the full details of his multiple suicide attempts, until it finally sunk in that she could have lost him for good and if she didn't need him now, she may have never known.

She turned to the records of his therapy sessions and the moment she saw her name she flipped to another section of his file, unable to come to terms with her role in his misery.

He hadn't chosen her but that didn't mean he'd deserved her dismissal either.

Skye pressed her hands to her mouth and began to weep.

They'd both made so many mistakes and everyone around them was paying for it.

Memories flashed through her mind. The first time she'd seen his serious, stoic face outside of her van. Their first argument on the bus. The first time he held her in training and she'd forgotten her own name. All of the times he'd caught her staring and she had to fight the urge to kiss him. All of the times he hadn't caught her longing glances. Their first kiss. The night they'd…

And then there were all the bad memories. Finding Eric's body. Seeing Fitz nearly dead. Realizing everything she thought they'd shared had been a lie. Coming to terms with the fact that the man she loved was a cold-blooded murderer.

Maybe things weren't that black and white but she couldn't feel guilty about the past. He'd done terrible things and she'd reacted in the only way she could back then. All she could do now was keep Alice safe. That was the only thing that mattered. Not her feelings. Not her love for him. Not his redemption. Nothing.

There was nothing in this file that could change anything and it was stupid to keep flipping through it as though it could change the past. Skye shoved everything back inside, needing to stop rethinking every decision she'd made since the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. She picked up a piece of paper from the floor and a name stuck out like a sore thumb. 'Christian'. His older brother. The one he'd claimed was abusive. The one who was a beloved Senator. Hell, his entire family was loved by the entire country. It made his claims about them fall into her 'lies he told me' list, though not enough for her not to believe him enough to think they would be a danger to anyone close to him.

Skye's biggest flaw was that she was too damn curious for her own good so she began to read the session notes and it wasn't long before she'd read every single page inside the file, focusing on everything to do with his family. To say she was horrified was an understatement. If she'd actually eaten a real meal this week she'd be on the floor of her bathroom, stress puking.

They were…even if nothing he'd said in therapy was true there were documents of cover-ups going back decades. His family was sick and powerful and as corrupt as they came. They were everything she'd been trying to protect their unborn baby from when she'd decided he could never find out the truth and forced her dad to send him away to serve his prison sentence.

There were a lot of what-ifs still swirling in her mind but there was no denying it; she'd made the right decision back then. His family was a danger. And even if he could be trusted now, even if she could forgive him, she could not let him be a part of Alice's life. Her reasons back then were still reasons now. It was clear that anyone Grant Ward loved would be used a chess piece in his family's sick desire to make him suffer. Everything was a game to them and this wasn't a game she was willing to play.

Skye carefully placed his sister's autopsy report back into the file and sealed it, staring down at the floor as she gathered her bearings. Those people could never find out she existed. His brother was a violent sociopath who had abused Grant into abusing their brother so he could control them both without getting his hands dirty and a rapist who had gotten his sister pregnant and then convinced her to hang herself to keep it quiet. And his parents had not only let this all happen but there had been plenty of hush money paid to local police departments to keep all of the abuse allegations on their parts from the media.

They'd kill Skye just to hurt him and then Alice would have no one. And that wasn't even the worst thing she could think of.

She remembered her father ripping her baby from her body, months before she was supposed to be born, and she reminded herself that this was the way sociopaths operated. They hurt people for fun, to get back at people, and innocent lives were always caught in the crossfires. Her father had been willing to kill his own grandchild just to hurt Skye and in turn hurt Melinda…what would the Ward family do to hurt the child who had gotten away from them?

Even that knowledge didn't assuage her guilt. Because she wasn't like them. She wasn't a monster. And for the first time she couldn't pretend he was one either. They'd both escaped hellish families and she had only made it out with her morality intact because of her mother. He hadn't been given someone who would fight for him like that.

No, he had. But Skye hadn't been able to fight that battle because of the life they'd made when the world was falling apart around them.

Skye removed a single picture from the file and hid it in her dresser before climbing into bed. She stared down at it, letting herself feel her sadness. Guilt she was an expert in, fake hate too. But sadness? She hadn't been allowed to feel sad about losing him but now…

She ran her thumb along the outline of his face. This was the man she'd fallen in love with; strong, guarded, secretly vulnerable, and her rock. Maybe he didn't look like the man in the picture anymore but he was still that same man. Because despite him being a liar, he had never lied to her about who he was. And that was the truth that was the hardest to come to terms with. Because if it had all been real…how was she going to keep pretending it wasn't to keep him away?

Skye leaned back in despair and stared up at the ceiling, mentally ticking down the minutes until she'd have to face him again and trying to cope with the fact that her life was a fucking mess.


	9. (Skye) How Could You Be So Cruel?

**Title:** Fix a Heart  
**Chapter 09:** (Skye) How Could You Be So Cruel?  
**Author:** snarkysweetness  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters:** Team Bus, Team Playground, Team Avengers, etc.  
**Pairings:** Skyeward, Fitzsimmons, Philinda, Huntingbird, TripHunter, Clintasha, BuckyKate, etc.  
**Summary:** Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.  
**Warnings:** Angst, canon-typical violence, sexual situations, &amp; swearing.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Author's Notes: **[throws confetti] Enjoy the pain.

_**Today (October 23, 2016)**_

Skye wiped at her cheeks and took several deep breaths to calm herself. She didn't need anyone to know she'd been crying. Her family was on her ass enough as it was.

Besides, she could do this. After all, she'd survived worse. On top of everything else going on in her life a little broken heart was nothing.

Once the heat was gone from her face and she was sure her eyes were no longer red and she could speak without her voice quivering she poked her head out of the closet. Seeing no one around, she slipped out and made her way slowly towards the east wing of the base.

Crying always took it out of Skye and now what little energy she had was spent, not that she had much to spare to begin with. And today was already going to be exhausting. She'd have to power through with a few shots of espresso and a lot of fake smiles.

She ran a hand over her face, exhausted. She needed a long vacation where she could sleep. Maybe Grant would do her a solid and kill her father for her and then she would stop worrying long enough to get a good night's rest.

_Oh, Skye, you're a terrible person_, she thought.

Besides, if anyone was going to kill him, it was Skye; she'd earned that right.

"Angel? What's wrong?"

The vein in her temple began to throb and Skye tried not to look as annoyed as she felt. Her dad was not the person she wanted to see right now.

"Nothing, I'm just tired," she lied.

She couldn't tell him the truth, that she was a mess over Grant Ward. She knew full well how he'd react if he knew the truth. He could never know she still loved Grant. If he did the meddling would be worse. And while she knew he meant well, he only wanted to see her and Alice happy, Skye did not share his optimism that love conquered all. The Skye who had fallen in love with Grant Ward may have believed in all of that but she did not. The person she was now had been through too much. Love couldn't fix the danger they were in. Skye wasn't sure anything could.

Coulson was unconvinced and kissed her forehead, inspecting the bags under her eyes. "I agree you need sleep but you look upset. Is this about earlier? I warned you this would-"

"Sir, Agent Hill would like you to get on a conference call. Says it's urgent."

Skye was so grateful for Trip's timing but her dad was dadding extra hard today.

"She can wait a few minute," he replied, stepping closer to Skye. "We're talking about this, Skye. I don't need it to become a problem."

"Sir, you can take the call. I've got this." Skye gave Trip a grateful smile. He knew how to read her moods better than anyone, which is why he was the one person she couldn't lie to. He was easier to talk to than her dad or her therapist and honestly…she could use some alone time with her best friend right now.

Coulson kept his eyes on Skye and she felt her blood boil. Oh, so he wanted to test her patience today. "Trip, I need a moment with my daughter."

Trip hung back, but stayed close, just in case.

"You need to sit down with Alice and Ward-"

"_No_," Skye said, seething. She crossed her arms, officially pissed off. "You do not get to tell me how to raise _my_ child. And if you keep testing me on this issue, I will take her and you will never see either one of us again. I mean it, dad. I've had my share of people trying to run our lives. It's bad enough we're stuck living underground, I'm not going to subject her to that family and I sure as hell don't trust him enough to let him near her. Stop making this about you."

"This is not about me-"

"Yes! It is! Because you think if mom hadn't left my piece of shit father without telling him about me and you two hadn't lied about who my biological father was somehow things would have been different. Well, guess what? They wouldn't have been. He's a psychopath. All that would have done is guaranteed he would have done to mom what he did to me. That lie kept me alive.

And I know you sympathize with Ward and I get why, but you trying to force me to forgive him and let him be her dad isn't going to rewrite history. He still took me, you and mom still got divorced, and I still spent my life without parents. Nothing will ever change that.

And you continuing to push all of us to forgive him and forget what he did overnight is a problem. He has to work for it and even if he does none of us owes him anything.

And even if I could forgive him…your little stunt with his file made one thing very clear; I made the right decision when I decided not to tell him I was pregnant. His family is too dangerous. And I cannot let them near my daughter. If I let him back in my life in any way that involved her they would just be yet another thing for me to worry about. I've already lost too much; I cannot lose her. I won't."

She could see how visibly upset he was and she couldn't let that affect her. He needed to understand that when it came to her child she called the shots. And she would follow through on her threat to leave. The only reason she was still here was for her mother. She would have gone on the run a long time ago if it wasn't for her.

"But I know you want-"

"What I want doesn't matter."

"We both know you're already in danger. He loves you, no matter how much you push him away it doesn't change that fact. For all you know, his family already knows about you. You cannot keep using her as an excuse to not be happy.

I am your father and I know what you need and what you need is to start living your life."

"No, you're not my father," Skye whispered harshly. "And that is the biggest problem of all, because if you were my child wouldn't be in danger because none of this would be an issue. You and mom would have raised me and maybe…maybe Ward and I would have met in time for it to make a difference.

But that isn't how it worked out. She's in danger because of me. And until my father is dead she's going to keep being in danger. And even when he is dead she's Inhuman like me, which means there will always be a target on her back. My life is keeping her safe. She is the only thing that matters. Not me. Not you. Only her.

And it doesn't matter how I feel or what I want. Ward is a danger. And she's in enough danger as it is. So, I need you to just stop. I will handle things the way I see fit and if you don't like that it's too damn bad."

Trip looked between the two of them, the tension in the air thick.

"Skye…" Coulson's voice broke. "If it were up to me you'd be mine. You don't get to blame me for that."

"I don't, but I do blame you for trying to meddle. I know you think if I forgive him we can be a happy little family but we can't. It won't change what happened to our baby or fix anything. And you can't try to make my decisions for me. All you can do is love me and love her and help me keep my father from hurting her again. I know you want to protect me but I'm not a little girl anymore. The time to be an overbearing dad has long passed. And I know it's not your fault you weren't around to do that but you trying to make up for it now is too much."

"You know what? Let's take a break," Trip offered, stepping between them. It was now late enough in the morning that the base was bustling and as voices made their way towards them Skye realized a hallway was a poor place to keep having this talk.

"Daddy, I'm sorry, but…you need to give me time and space when it comes to him."

Skye gave him a sad look, feeling like the worst person in the world. She turned and walked away, fighting the urge to run back and hug him and beg him to forgive her. She couldn't keep letting him treat her like a little girl. It wasn't healthy and when it came to her little girl she couldn't take any chances.

Trip put an arm around her and she was grateful. She wasn't sure she could stand on her own anymore.

"You owe me fifty bucks for your family counseling," he teased and she glared at him. Now was not the time for jokes. She wasn't in the mood to laugh.

"Come on, Skye, you know he means well. He's just…intense. You can't blame him for that. If my kid went missing for twenty-five years, I'd be overbearing too. Hell, look at how you are with Alice."

She sighed. "I know, Trip, but it's hard enough keeping Grant away from Alice without my dad trying to interfere. I don't…I am not a monster. I don't hate him but if you were in my shoes you'd do the same thing."

"You're right. But, I mean is she really worse off with him in her life? Either way, there will always be dangers. But with Ward at least you have someone else to keep her safe."

Skye sighed, close to tears. "Not you too."

Trip stopped and took her by the shoulders, looking her in the eyes. "I have your back, always. If you really think this is best, I support you. I just want you to know that if you change your mind, it's okay too. Anyone who judges you for trying to be a good mom can suck my ass."

She smiled and hugged him, letting a few tears fall. "Thanks, Trip."

He hugged her back tightly. "I can't imagine how hard it is to be a parent, especially a single one. And throw in your psycho dad on top of it…you're doing your best and I'm proud of you."

That was the first time anyone had told her that and now she couldn't stop the tears.

"Damn you," she muttered, wiping at her eyes as she pulled away. "Now my therapist is going to know I was crying and be even more annoying with the discuss your feelings crap."

"Oh, well, fuck me then."

Skye hip bumped him and shook her head, shaking her arms out to get out all of the tension in her body.

"So," she said, needing to change the subject. "What does Maria want? Are we going to stop pretending Stark Security isn't actually S.H.I.E.L.D.? Are we going to get our lives back?"

Trip chuckled. "I wish."

Skye nodded; her too. It would be nice to raise her child in a real house. Hell, Alice didn't even officially exist; it would be nice for her to have a birth certificate and to go to school and to have a life.

"So, how was your date with Ward this morning?"

Skye rolled her eyes. "You're such a dick. Thanks for that, by the way. You don't help in the encouraging my child with her belief that he's her dad."

Trip gave her a 'look' and she returned it with a scowl. "Don't," she warned.

"Fine, but I still want to know how it went."

Skye sighed, knowing she had to tell him. If she didn't he go to Ward and who knew if he could keep his mouth shut.

"It was _fine_," she said. "He knows I don't hate him but he seems to understand that doesn't mean I will take him back, which is a good thing."

"But?"

Damn him, how did he always _know_ things?

"But I may have confused him when I almost kissed him."

"You did _what_?"

Skye groaned, feeling like an idiot. "I don't know…I got too close to him and I thought…would it be the worst thing in the world? And then I realized it was a stupid idea and I walked away. But, I don't know! It's hard to think straight! His entire energy is just him sending all this love my way and I can't not feel it! Literally! I feel everything he feels for me and it doesn't help. And it's not his fault but I have no idea how to deal with this. I didn't think he was still in love with me and even if he was I had no idea my stupid empathy powers would go into overdrive around him. He really is a bastard," she huffed, annoyed.

Trip laughed loudly and ruffled her hair, annoying her. "Damn, girl. I knew you were dickmatized but I didn't know it was this bad."

Skye smacked his arm, offended. "I am _not_!"

"Oh? Did you or did you not tell me he was the best sex you'd ever had?"

"_Trip_," she hissed, not needing anyone else to overhear that fact.

"Gurl, you need to get some. And I say this because I love you, okay? I understand why you're lying to him and pretending you don't love him but you need some dick and for it to be good dick and I don't think Ward would tell you 'no' if you asked nicely."

Skye rolled her eyes but he wasn't done.

"But in all seriousness…I want you to be happy and Alice _needs_ you to be happy. She needs to see her mom having a life because with the way you're going all she is going to see is you killing yourself for her and that is going to fuck her up emotionally. I watched my mom work two jobs just to keep food on the table and I always felt so guilty and I resented the hell out of my dad for leaving. And I turned out okay because of my grandfather and because my mom eventually found someone. And I know you don't need Ward to be happy, or any man, but…I worry about you. You give so much to everyone else and you take nothing for back and you cannot keep depriving yourself. I know you feel guilty and your life sucks right now but I just want you to consider being selfish for once. You deserve it."

He really wanted her to spend her morning sobbing, didn't he?

"Trip…" He took her hands and she shook her head. "Not today."

"Especially today. Come on, close your eyes." She hated when he did this for her but he was right, she needed this if she was going to get through today. And it was for Alice. She needed for her to get through today.

Skye closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then another. And another. Once she felt relaxed she opened herself up and allowed the waves of calm to wash over her. Trip squeezed her hand, letting her know she could take more but Skye cut off their connection. She refused to siphon more than she needed to. She hated having to take someone else's energy but sometimes she had no choice and Trip was strong enough to lend some.

The problem with her powers weren't just that she felt everything so strongly or felt the emotions of everyone around her. It was that their emotions drained her. She had to work so hard to block everyone out just to get through the day and that was on top of dealing with everything else in her life. Work, her child, the PTSD…her powers were a huge inconvenience.

"Thank you," she whispered, feeling a lot better.

Trip looked a bit weaker but if she'd taken too much he didn't show it. He squeezed her hands again with a sigh. "Look, Skye, you may be an agent and a mom and I respect the hell out of you for juggling everything the way you do but at the end of the day you're also human. You deserve happiness. And you deserve to be loved. And the thing is…what you and Ward had was real. He may have lied about a lot of things but he never lied about how he felt. And we're spies, our entire business is ambiguity and I believe he let you see as much of the real him as he could without blowing his cover. I know you want to keep her safe but you have to stop denying yourself love. Because that's all your doing, Skye. And if it isn't him…the thing is I don't think you have any interest in loving anyone else. And if that's the case you should just stop this charade before it goes on for too long."

Skye stared down at their hands for a long moment before meeting his eyes again. "And what if he I tell him everything and he can't forgive me?"

"Then he's an idiot. If you can forgive him for everything he's done, then he has no reason not to forgive a lie you haven't even told him." Omission was a lie but he had a point. She just had no idea how to tell him. She couldn't even say the words aloud in therapy…how could she say them to him?

Speaking of therapy…

Trip led her towards the office and when they arrived her dad was in the waiting room sitting with Ward. They stared at each other, still angry, but after a long, tense minute Coulson stood and gave Ward's shoulder a squeeze. He stopped in front of Skye and kissed the top of her head before leaving without a word. Skye watched him go, feeling incredibly sad, and leaned into Trip, wondering if she should just blurt everything out now, before Ward got too involved in this mess.

"You're late…again."

Skye sighed, really not wanting to do this today.

"Well, Doc, if I'm too late we should reschedule. I don't want to keep your other appointment waiting."

She caught a smile from Ward and she did her best not to meet it with her own.

Dr. Sousa was having none of Skye's shit today, or ever. "He has paperwork to fill out and we still have twenty minutes for you to not talk. Come on," she moved aside and Skye reluctantly left Trip's side and walked into the room.

"Fine, but one of these days you need to buy a girl dinner."

She didn't even notice Hunter arrive or Trip take a seat. She was too busy feeling annoyed. In Skye's mind therapy was crap. Not for other people. She knew for some people it worked. Hell, for some people it was necessary. Like with Ward. It was clear it was doing wonders for him but Skye didn't need therapy. She didn't need to discuss her feelings or her trauma. Talking wasn't going to heal anything. Talking wouldn't change what she'd been through. All it would do is drudge it back up. What Skye needed was more time to cope and to keep going on with her life.

Sure, maybe she didn't sleep much and maybe she didn't eat as well as she should but did any new parent?

Besides, with her powers her emotions would always be a mess. What she needed was someone to teach her how to control them. That would be a better use of her time. This crap was just that; crap.

"So, Skye…Ward is back. How does that make you feel?"

Skye rolled her eyes. She did not talk about Ward. That was a rule. She didn't trust that this doctor wouldn't run off to tell her dad she was still in love with Ward. She also didn't trust that these rooms weren't bugged. And as agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. there was no such thing as doctor-patient confidentiality. Everything was on file. Skye would open up the day Hell froze over.

"You can keep treating this like an option all you want, Skye. But you are never going to be cleared until we finally talk about what happened to you in those eleven weeks you were kept captive. The sooner you deal with it the sooner you no longer have to be a patient."

Bloody images filled her mind and Skye pushed them away, ignoring the therapist.

"Skye, it's been two years and no one actually knows what happened to you in that time. That's unhealthy. You need to talk about it. You need to deal with that loss. You need to accept that you haven't recovered from it. And your dad tells me you still have trouble accepting that Alice is-"

"You have no business talking to him about me or my treatment. As my boss he is entitled to know if I'm fit for duty and that it is it. You're not doing yourself favors talking to anyone else about me."

"Well, you refuse to talk to me and he's worried. And rightfully so."

"I'm fine. I have Trip to talk to. See, him I trust. You? You're just a shrink on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s payroll. I don't trust you. And I don't need to talk about it. I lived it. I don't need to relive it over and over again until my poor, fragile feelings are healed. There is no healing from something like that. You just learn to live with it."

"Live with what? You won't even admit what happened. And while I think you do talk to your friend, I don't think you've ever said the words to anyone, even him."

Skye crossed her arms and glanced at the clock. Ugh, fifteen more minutes of this. Great.

"You know with Agent Ward back I think it would beneficial to you both to have a joint session. If you won't talk about what happened to me maybe you should talk about it with him."

"You do not get to talk about Ward to me," Skye said angrily. "And you don't talk about my kid. Ever. They are off the table."

Sousa set her pad of paper aside and leaned in to stare at Skye with a very stern look. "They are the root of everything. Grant Ward broke your heart and left you alone and pregnant and your child-"

"Grant Ward did not leave me. I chose to keep my child safe from him. There is a difference. And they are not the root of anything. My father did all of this. He is the only person to blame for what happened. He kidnapped me, he tortured me, and everything bad in my life is because of things he did. So like I said, Ward and Alice have no place in this room."

She would not discuss either of them. They belonged close to her chest, not in some file that anyone could gain access to.

"So are you planning to never admit what your father did to your baby? You cannot get past it if you cannot even admit it happened, Skye. And I think you can't admit it happened because you feel guilty for not telling Grant you were pregnant in the first place."

Maybe it was because she was so fucking exhausted or maybe because she just wanted to chew someone out but Skye finally fucking had it with this bitch.

"Fine, you want to talk about it? Let's talk about it. Let's talk about how when I was barely halfway through my pregnancy my psycho biological father decided to lock me in a disgusting basement with the rest of his victims. Let's talk about how he spent weeks torturing me, trying to turn me into a monster like he was, until my body couldn't take it anymore. Until the baby couldn't take it anymore and I went into labor thirteen weeks early and I was so weak from all of the blood loss that I couldn't even push."

Skye could feel the tears threatening to come but fuck her father, he didn't deserve her tears. All she had left for him was her rage.

"So he cut me open but not so he could deliver her but so he could help me push the baby out because he wanted me to experience giving birth to a child I would never get to hold."

The look on Sousa's face was all Skye needed to feel a smug sense of satisfaction. This woman couldn't handle Skye's trauma. No one could. And that was why she was never going to tell Grant about the baby. He wasn't strong enough for this. And it wasn't his burden to carry.

"Should I go on, Doc?"

Maybe now she'd stop fucking pushing her.

Sousa stared up at Skye, all color gone from her face. "Yes, you still haven't told me what happened next."

Anger filled her chest. She didn't want to go on. But it was too late, the memory was already playing back on a loop. Her entire body went cold and bile rose from her stomach and the sadness…the sadness was paralyzing. Skye was unable to speak as she remembered how helpless she'd been and how much her heart had broken and how much pain she was still in.

"Skye? What happened then?"

"Nothing," Skye whispered. "There was nothing…I…no crying, no…" Skye shook her head, tears spilling from her eyes. "Talking about this isn't going to fix anything. And I don't care how many degrees you have you cannot understand my pain or help me through it. You don't get over something like that."

Skye stood and stared her down angrily. "We're done here. I have a job and a kid and I don't have time to keep wasting with you."

She stormed out of the room and quickly rushed by Ward, not wanting him to see her cry. He'd try to comfort her and if she looked him in the eye right now…she'd tell him everything and she couldn't hurt him like this. His file had proved he wasn't emotionally ready to handle the truth and she refused to put him through that kind of pain.

She'd carry this alone for the rest of her life.


	10. (Skye) We Need More Time to Heal

**Title: **Fix a Heart  
**Chapter 10:** (Skye) We Need More Time to Heal  
**Author:** snarkysweetness  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters:** Team Bus, Team Playground, Team Avengers, etc.  
**Pairings:** Skyeward, Fitzsimmons, Philinda, Huntingbird, TripHunter, Clintasha, BuckyKate, etc.  
**Summary:** Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.  
**Warnings:** Angst, canon-typical violence, sexual situations, &amp; swearing.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Author's Notes: **Please allow Hunter to provide some much needed comic relief and the fanmix I made to accompany this fic to help ease your hearts (can be found on my tumblr page).

_**Last Night (October 22, 2016)**_

Skye couldn't get away from Grant fast enough.

She strolled past the Koenig's and left Trip in the common room, promising she'd be back soon. She ripped open her jacket, her entire body feeling as though it were on fire. It wasn't until she closed her bedroom door that she realized she'd been holding her breath.

Skye leaned against the door and let out a long, winded sigh. Being in such close quarters with him, inhaling his woodsy scent, pretending to ignore the longing looks he sent her way…she hadn't been able to think straight all day. She could still feel her heart pounding in her chest.

If she hadn't had Trip there she would have shoved that idiot against his seat and kissed his stupidly handsome face. Or slapped it. Or both. Definitely both. But with more kissing than slapping.

She stared up at the ceiling, feeling foolish. She could do this. She had to do this. She was just weak. It had been nearly three years since she'd been with him and that was the longest she'd ever gone without sex. She was allowed to have a few moments of weakness. As long as she didn't act on them she would be fine.

A tiny snore filled the air and Skye smiled, forgetting all about Ward for a second. She dumped her things on her desk and moved to Alice's bed. She carefully fixed her little head, being careful not to wake her. Once her head was back on the pillow the snores stopped and she clutched her rabbit tighter. Skye brushed Alice's hair out of her face and smiled down at her.

She didn't know how it was possible to love someone this much. Sometimes she was sure her heart would explode.

"I love you, pumpkin," she whispered, kissing the top of her head. She watched her for another minute, to make sure she wouldn't wake, before slipping out of the room.

Skye headed for the kitchen, doing her best not to worry about what _he_ was up to. She moved around, taking things out of the fridge, not really paying attention. There were a million things on her mind. Was Fitz okay? How long would it be before Ward found out Alice existed? Was this a mistake?

"Skye…Skye!"

She jumped, dropping the knife in her hand. She blinked up at Jemma in confusion before leaning over to pick it up off the floor. "Jesus, Jemma! Don't sneak up on people like that."

"Me? You're the one standing there with a knife lost in thought. Ward's only been here for ten minutes, I thought you'd go longer before stabbing him."

Skye glared at her, not finding that funny. She grabbed another knife and went back to the task she'd started; making a sandwich. And not just any sandwich, nope. Ward's favorite sandwich. It was stupid and she felt like an idiot for still remembering how he liked it but…she remembered how thin he was now and she started making a second one.

Just because she had to keep pretending to hate him to keep him away didn't mean she was going to let him starve. Jemma stood behind her, watching her sadly, and Skye did her best to ignore her.

Jemma reached into the fridge and grabbed a carton of milk, pouring a glass. She set it next to the plate Skye had made up for Ward and leaned against the table. "Skye…"

Skye set the knife down and gripped the table, taking a moment before looking up at her. "Not now, Jemma."

Jemma reached out and took Skye's hand gently. "It's okay to take care of him, Skye. No one blames you for caring about him. You wouldn't be you if you didn't."

"Fitz does."

"Fitz just…" Jemma struggled to find her words before shrugging. "It's just harder for him."

It wasn't that Skye didn't sympathize but she hated seeing Fitz so angry. And it killed her that the man she couldn't force herself to stop loving was the cause of that.

"I know but-"

"Oy, thanks love. I was starving." Hunter grabbed one sandwich and bit into it before Skye could stop him.

She glowered at him, annoyed. "That wasn't for you," she huffed.

"You gonna eat that?" Trip grabbed the other, knowing full well Skye wasn't going to eat it and she threw her hands up, defeated. Fine, she'd make more.

Hunter leaned in and waved his sandwich in Skye's face. "Oy, love! Thanks to you I have a roommate now." She shot him a warning look but Hunter was too stupid to stop himself. "Do you know what a pain in the arse it's going to be having to babysit your Hydra boyfriend?" Skye twirled the knife between her fingers, feeling the itch to stab Hunter. Not fatally, just in the thigh…or higher. "I mean, look, I'm sure your conjugal visit was great, we all agree you need a nice dicking, but there is no way it was good enough that you had to break him out of prison just to get more of it." No, she was definitely going to stab him.

"Okay!" Jemma yelled, grabbing Skye's arm before the knife made contact.

Hunter chuckled and Skye scowled at him. "Don't worry, crumpet, I was never in any danger," he said cheerfully, kissing the top of Jemma's head. "Skye loves me too much to do permanent damage. Besides, we all know her problem is she just needs to take that traitor for a joyride, release all of that pent up tension."

"Jemma, I'm going to stab your cousin in the eyeball," Skye warned.

Trip grabbed a six-pack then took Hunter by the collar. "Come on, idiot; if she stabs you in the only place your useful then I'm not getting laid tonight."

"Oy! Who said you were getting laid tonight!"

Jemma rolled her eyes and began putting things away. Skye stood at the sink, fuming. If this was what it was going to be like now…Hunter was a dead man.

"I cannot believe we're related," Jemma muttered, as if sharing DNA with Hunter was scandalous.

"Damn right," he muttered, sneak attacking her with a kiss on the cheek as he rushed in to grab a bag of chips and quickly ran out before Skye could throw something at him.

Jemma smiled, shaking her head, and took a drink from the milk she'd poured for Ward.

"I know he's an arse but he does mean well, Skye. We're all worried about you. It can't be easy, seeing him again. I think he thinks if he can get you to laugh about it then it means he doesn't have to worry so much."

Skye glanced up at her, still annoyed, but not at Jemma. "I'm beginning to understand why Bobbi left him."

"_Skye_," Jemma scolded, failing to hide a smile.

Skye tossed the dish rag down and leaned against the counter, drumming her fingers along the wood. "I don't know what to do, Jemma. I had this plan and I was so sure I could do this but then I saw him and…" She let out a small sigh and shrugged in defeat. "I spent so much time making him into a monster and I'm not sure he is one," she whispered.

Jemma sat on the table across from Skye and began toying with the hem of her shirt nervously. "Well…maybe…"

"What? You can say it. I'm not going to get mad at you."

They'd all be walking on eggshells with her since this morning and she didn't need to be handled with kid's gloves. She was a grown-up; she could handle the truth.

"Maybe you should just tell him the truth. Forgive him. You still love him, Skye. You can pretend you don't but I knew the moment you saw his picture on that screen and the director told us his plan that you'd never stopped. I know you think you're keeping her safe by pushing him away but no one's ever really safe. And I'm not saying you have to do it tonight. He needs to earn forgiveness, but I do think you should be open to it. You're only hurting yourself if you don't."

"How? Jemma, how can you of all people suggest that I could ever forgive him? Or that I should. He tried to kill you! Fitz was willing to die for you. Grant couldn't even abandon John for me. Just because I'm still stupid enough to care about him doesn't mean he ever really cared about me. He's a liar, Jemma. And I don't know if I can trust him or his feelings. And even if I did it doesn't erase anything he did."

Jemma rubbed her sweaty palms on her trousers, close to tears. "I know it's hard, but…Skye he would _die_ for you. You have to know that. He almost died for all of us. He jumped out of a plane to save my life. I believe that man, the one who risked his life for us repeatedly is still in there. I can't believe that he's as evil as you and Fitz make him out to be."

"Then you forgive him," Skye whispered, unable to meet her eyes.

"I'm trying. I want to, desperately. I can't hold onto anger like that but then I see Fitz and it all comes back. I understand why you feel you can't but-

Skye, you can't expect him to change or to be a better man if you don't give him the chance. If we all keep treating him like he's evil and irredeemable then he will be. But if we give him the chance to be better and to make up for the past then I believe he can be good.

And I think you know that. If you didn't you wouldn't let him near Alice, even to keep her safe. And I think if he knew the truth about what your father did, then that fucking bastard would be dead faster than Hunter can finish a bottle of Scotch."

Skye shifted uncomfortably before pushing away from the counter. "Ward's not here to kill anyone. I'm not going to use him as my personal assassin."

"But isn't that the endgame? Eliminate your father? And Hydra? I'm not naive enough to think it will end any other way and I know you aren't either."

Skye knew full well how this would end but it wouldn't be Ward killing her father. But Jemma didn't need to know that part of her plans.

She glanced back at her with a small shrug. "I'll try, Jemma. But for now he can't know how I feel and I can't let him near her. Even if I could forgive him, he's not safe. Her powers…she doesn't need to see anything he might accidentally show her. And his family is dangerous. As much as my father is. I'm not going to treat him like a monster but I'm not going to be his friend either.

But if that's what you need to do, do it. I'm not going to hate you if you forgive him, Jem. You don't need my permission. But, Fitz might not be happy about it."

"You let me deal with Fitz," Jemma replied weakly.

Skye didn't know what was up with the two of them lately but she was worried. If those two couldn't make it then love was officially dead. And no matter how cynical Skye grew she still held out hope that things weren't completely terrible.

"Fair enough. Come on, if we leave those two alone much longer they're going to have sex on the couch."

Jemma frowned and hopped off the table, following Skye. "You go in first, I do not need to see my cousin's arse again."

Skye laughed and threw an arm around Jemma, covering her eyes as she lead the way.

"We're coming in and there better not be any penises out that Jemma is related to!"

"Bloody hell, Skye," Jemma muttered, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "I know you're severely damaged but _eww_."

Skye hid a smile. Jemma was adorable.

The boys glanced up, each on their second beer, and Hunter leaned back with a huge grin, patting the seat next to him. "No penises here, love, but if you want to send Jemma away I think we can show you a good time."

Skye flipped Hunter the finger and released Jemma. "Fuck off," she said, kicking his foot off of the coffee table. She grabbed two beers and threw herself onto the couch. She opened one for herself and held the other out for Jemma, glaring at Hunter who was now toying with her bangs.

Jemma took a seat in an armchair and waved away the beer. "I'm good."

Skye paused in the middle of slapping Hunter's hand away and stared at Jemma in surprise. "But they're your beers. You know if you don't have at least one these two alcoholics won't leave you any." They didn't get out for supplies much. Alcohol was a luxury around here.

Jemma wrinkled her nose and took a sip from her water bottle. "It's fine, I doubt I'll be in the mood for it anytime soon."

Trip and Skye exchanged glances, each concerned and confused but knowing better than to push. Hunter on the hand didn't know the meaning of the word 'tact' so he opened his big damn mouth like always.

He took a long swig from his beer and eyed her suspiciously from head to toe. "Oy, crumpet, you're not sprogged up, are you? Because if you are, I'm not going to be in the room when you tell gran you let some Scotsman inside of you and out of wedlock no less. You'll give the old biddy a heart attack."

Skye smacked him upside the head. "What in the hell is the matter with you? Did your mother drop you on your head as a baby?"

Hunter howled in pain and rubbed his head, scowling at Skye. "Look, the last time one of you bloody women stopped drinking I ended up having to learn how to change nappies. And with the way those two go at it, I'm surprised it's taken this long."

Skye pinched the bridge of her nose. He was such a fucking idiot.

"First of all, you've maybe changed what? Three diapers in your life? Chill. Second, Jemma is not pregnant." If she were, Skye would already know.

"Do I bloody look pregnant to you, Lance!" She stared down at her body and adjusted her sweater with a frown. "It's this bloody sweater, isn't it? I look like a ballooned cow in this thing."

"Don't listen to him, he's an ass. You look as hot as always, Jemma," Trip said with a wink before kicking Hunter in the shin.

Hunter cursed loudly but everyone ignored him.

Jemma blushed and waved in Trip's direction. "Stop, I'm not 'hot'."

"The fuck you're not. If it weren't for Fitz…girl, I'd have shown you how hot a long time ago. Hell, I might still. Is he down for a threesome? Or sharing? We can do this."

Jemma let out an uncharacteristic giggle as she considered his offer for a moment. "Stop, I might just ask him if you don't."

Hunter stared between then angrily. "Oy! You're shagging me, remember? You're not allowed to shag her. The only person around here who goes around fucking members of the same family is Ward. Don't be like him."

"Hmm, I think he's jealous you'll like fucking Jemma more than him," Skye teased, long past feeling any sort of embarrassment over her not-boyfriend fucking her mom.

"Don't change the bloody subject. If there's no little monster inside of her then why isn't she drinking? The Jemma I know can drink any one of us under the table."

"Because I don't want to," Jemma replied, narrowing her gaze on him. Skye was sure someday Jemma would beat her to the whole stabbing him thing. But she'd earned it, having grown up with him.

"Oh please, you never say 'no' to alcohol, you big lush."

Jemma threw a pillow at him angrily and leaned back, sipping her water in annoyance. "If you must know I think one of those germ bags infected me. Damn children, running around this base," she cursed. "Except yours, Skye."

Skye shrugged, unoffended. "My kid is awesome."

"Didn't you vaccinate those little monsters?" Hunter asked, wiping his hands on his shirt as if that would rid him of any germs he may have picked up.

"Yes, but it takes a few weeks to kick in and if they're already sick…" she shrugged.

"Here I thought the stress of Ward was making you sick," Trip muttered.

Jemma shot him a warning glare and shook her head but Skye waved them off.

"It's fine, get it all out of your system. I know everyone hates Ward and those who don't know him are going to hate him just because he was with Hydra. I've been getting the dirty looks all week. I'm used to it."

"Don't worry, no one is brave enough to say anything to your face," Trip said, winking in her direction.

"Well, that's comforting," Skye teased, sipping more beer.

Hunter inspected the bags under Jemma's eyes with a frown. "If you're sick shouldn't you be in bed? I don't need to catch this shite, Jemma. This one just got over the flu," he complained, motioning to Skye. "Do you know how hard it was to make sure I didn't get infected?"

Skye rolled her eyes but he had a point. "That thing was near impossible to get rid of. You should hydrate and rest before it really hits, Jemma."

"I'm fine, I got my shot weeks ago. I'm not contagious, my body is just fighting it off. In a day or two I'll feel better. Besides, Fitz just got his shot and I don't want to expose him to anything by climbing into bed with him while I feel like this."

"Trouble in paradise?" Hunter teased.

"For someone who can't handle a real, adult relationship you sure do love to poke your nose into other people's love lives," Jemma snarked.

Skye smiled and leaned back, knowing they didn't have much of these moments together and wanting to enjoy it for once. Besides, watching Jemma tear Hunter a new one was going to be so much fun.

* * *

Skye reluctantly watched as Hunter and Trip did the job she wanted to be doing. Her blood was boiling, she felt sick, and she wanted to scream.

"We've got her," Trip whispered, giving her a nod.

Skye lingered for a moment before turning and heading down the hall in annoyance.

Did this have to happen tonight of all nights? She hadn't been ready for any of this. How was she going to keep juggling all of these spinning plates in her life?

"I'm not going to let you stab him tonight," Jemma warned as Skye entered the kitchen.

Skye sighed and held up her hands in defeat. "I'm not going to hurt him. I just…lost it a little, okay? I think I'm due that."

Jemma shot her a 'look' and went back to making a sandwich. Skye lingered behind her and nudged her aside, taking over. She was doing it all wrong. And best to double up the ingredients. Her hands shook as she assembled it. She was still so angry with him. With everything. She felt so manic back there but when it came to Alice, Skye had a hard time keeping her anger in check.

"It's not too late, Skye. Would it really be the worst thing to just go back in there and say 'hey, I'm still mad at you but let me introduce you to my daughter before you risk your life for her and if you prove to me you're not a psycho maybe we can do this family thing because I still love you'?"

She gripped the counter and fought back an outburst.

"And if I did? What would happen if her nightmares got worse because of him? He didn't cause this, Jemma, but he was with Hydra for years. Who knows how many people he killed."

Skye thought back to the horror she'd felt, finding Eric's body. How many of those scenes were buried in his subconscious just waiting for a precocious Inhuman child to dig them back up?

"I don't need her to see any of that," Skye insisted, thinking back to her own traumas and hating that she'd inflicted them on that innocent little girl.

_Daddy's a monster. _

Yes, he was.

And yet…

"_I will do everything in my power to keep her safe."_

Judging by the look on his face and the emotions coming off of him he wasn't lying. Skye wasn't sure if that made things better or worse.

Skye pushed the plate towards Jemma and fell onto the bench, burying her face in her hand. Everything was too complicated and fucked up and she didn't know what to do anymore.

It would be so much easier if she just knew how to turn Alice's powers off so she could be a normal kid and so her father was the only present danger.

"Skye?"

"You'd better go, Jemma. He needs to eat something and you and Hunter have work to do," she whispered, meeting her eyes.

"So…we're going this?" Jemma whispered.

Skye hesitated for a moment and then nodded, hating herself.

"It's the only way to keep her safe, Jemma."

Skye wasn't sure about much these days but the one thing she was sure of was that she would die to keep that little girl safe.

* * *

_**Today (October 23, 2016)**_

"I'm not going to break, Antoine," Skye said, feeling his eyes on her. It was sweet, that he was so worried, but Skye needed to power through this day and being reminded that she was a mess who was ten seconds away from having a complete, emotional breakdown was not helping. She'd already had one of those two years ago and now was not the time for one. Maybe in sixteen years when Alice was eighteen and Skye could take a mental health break.

She felt his hands on her shoulders and he kissed the top of her head before hugging her from behind. "It's okay if you do, Skye. You've got plenty of people willing to help glue you back together."

She smiled and leaned into him, grateful to have him. She'd always wanted a brother like him growing up and it was nice that Alice had him as an uncle.

"She needs me more than I need a break," Skye whispered.

Trip kissed her temple and gave her a squeeze before releasing her. "I know, but…we're going to get that bastard, Skye. And when we do, girl you taking a vacation."

Skye laughed and went back to hanging streamers. "I have always wanted to go to Puerto Rico," she teased. "Or Paris," she said with a sigh, lustful for any sort of travel. "And of course, Alice would love Disneyland." She had never been but she wanted to. She wanted to do everything with her baby that her parents would have done with her if they'd had a chance.

"Here, let me," Trip offered.

"About time, tall person," she teased.

She handed off the decorations to him and started covering up the tables with the Mulan tablecloths Alice had demanded.

"Sweetheart."

Skye glanced up to find her dad lingering at the door, as if seeking her permission to enter.

"Dad," she said, nodding in the direction of the cloth. He walked over and took the other end, helping her put it evenly on the table.

She was still mad, but she didn't know if it was at him, herself, or at the universe, so she was going to give him a pass. This time.

"Triplett, there are some gifts in my office, would you mind getting them for me?"

Skye nodded, letting him know it was okay.

"No problem, sir. I'll get the others, too. I'm pretty sure between Hunter and Jemma she's getting an entire toy store."

Skye smiled, knowing it wasn't much, but spoiling her like this once a year helped ease her guilt for not being able to give her a better life.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and glanced up to find her dad holding out a small, wrapped box. She narrowed her eyes in confusion and took it, moving towards the small mountain of gifts.

"Actually, that one's for you."

Skye stopped in her tracks and fiddled with the ribbon, not sure if she'd forgiven him enough to accept a bribe. "What's this for?"

Coulson stood there, awkwardly toying with his tie, and shrugged. "I missed twenty-eight birthdays, I'm still trying to make up for them," he said quietly.

A smile formed on her lips and she stared down at the ground, trying not to cry. "But it's not _my_ birthday," she reminded him.

He stepped closer and hesitated before speaking. Wow, she'd really done a number on him. Now she felt like a monster.

"Sweetheart…I can't even begin to imagine how hard this day is for you," he whispered, reaching for her hand. Skye let him take it, but she kept her eyes glued to her shoes, not sure she could handle yet another hard conversation today.

"You know, the day you were born," he smiled and squeezed her hand, forcing her to glance up at him. He was looking at her but she could tell he was somewhere else. Lost in his memories. "I couldn't take my eyes off of you."

His vision focused on her again and she felt that familiar pain in her chest. The one that came with knowing how much he loved her and how much it had to kill him to know that no matter how much he loved her that monster was still responsible for her existence.

"Dad, I'm sorry about earlier-"

He ignored her and kept speaking. "You were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life. And you were so strong and perfect and I fell in love. Don't get me wrong, the night your mom showed up at my door and told me about you, that was the night I decided to be your dad, but when I met you I knew we were meant to be together. And then when I finally got to hold you it was the best moment of my life."

"Dad," Skye whispered, unable to fight back the tears. If this was his way of getting her to feel guilty, it was working.

"You know every time they tried to take you out of my arms you became the angriest little thing I'd ever seen in my life, and I put up with your mother's pregnancy mood swings," he teased and Skye couldn't help but chuckle. She could only imagine.

"It was like you knew we didn't have much time together," he whispered. "And all those years, when we thought you were dead…I at least had that memory to hold onto. I don't know if I would have survived without it. So to know that you didn't even get to hold your child…you deserve to have a few moments to grieve that, sweetheart. And it kills me to see you killing yourself to get through this day each year."

Skye threw her arms around him and began sobbing in his neck. It wasn't fair. He was wonderful and perfect and it killed her that he wasn't her father.

He kissed her temple and gave her a squeeze. "It's okay to cry, angel."

"I'm so sorry, daddy."

"You should be."

They broke apart to find Melinda May, standing with arms crossed, furious.

"You told on me, didn't you?"

"Yes, but only because I love you," he replied before kissing her temple and hiding behind her like a coward.

Skye glared at him but her anger was short lived because _wow_. Was it possible for someone to literally have steam coming out of their ears?

"Don't you dare think you can threaten to leave every time you don't get your way, Margaret."

Oh, she was already middle-naming her, this was _bad_.

"Mom-" she began but Melinda May was having none of it.

"Skye Margaret Coulson, you don't talk back to me when I'm speaking," she warned.

_Oh shit_.

Skye met her dad's eyes and even he looked surprised at how pissed his ex-wife was.

"Just because he isn't your biological father doesn't mean you are allowed to disrespect him. He was there for everything; every doctor visit, every midnight craving, every kick, _everything_. And when you were born you became the love of his life. He would die for you. And that bastard ex-husband of mine can lay claim to you all he wants but Phil is your legal father and he's the one who loves you so don't you ever pull that 'you're not my father' crap with him again."

"I'm sorry," Skye whispered, voice breaking, but her mom still wasn't done yelling.

"And if you think you can just take off with _my_ grandchild…"

She sent Skye the sternest look she'd ever seen and Skye cowered like a small child. Phil wrapped a protective arm around her but she could feel his fear too. Her mom was fucking scary when she was this pissed off. Hell, she was scary to begin with but when she was angry enough to yell?

"I gave you life," she hissed, shaking now. "And I have lost you _twice_. I am not doing it again. If you even tried to pull that shit with me I would hunt you down so fast you wouldn't even have a chance to blink twice, do you understand me?"

"Yes, but-"

"Don't," Phil warned but Skye didn't listen.

Skye wasn't afraid of her mother. Of hurting her, maybe, but not of her. And when it came to her kid? There wasn't anything Skye wouldn't do.

"Alice is _my_ daughter, mom. If I have to leave to keep her safe I will. You can't stop me from doing what's best for her."

"Try it and see what will happen."

Skye didn't want to test her mother but if she had to run, she would. She'd done it her entire life and she wasn't going to stop now.

"Then don't give me a reason to," Skye warned, meeting her mother's glare.

Before her mom could yell some more Trip entered the room, arms overflowing with gifts. "Where do you want these?"

Phil looked between his girls and once he was sure they wouldn't kill each other he stepped away to help.

"Lao Lao!" Alice yelled, rushing into the room and throwing herself at Melinda's legs. She wrapped her arms around them and clung to her, smiling up at her.

Melinda shot Skye another warning glare before scooping Alice up. Her expression shifted from one of pure fury to complete affection. "Hello, baby."

Skye knew how much her parents loved Alice. And how much it would kill them if she ever left but that didn't mean Skye didn't already have flight bags ready along with an escape plan. Running was the only thing she'd ever known and she knew it was only a matter of time before she had to take Alice away to keep her safe. She hoped it didn't come to that, she didn't want to break their hearts again, but Alice came first.

"You're supposed to be in your lessons, sweetheart." Melinda scolded, giving Jemma a 'look'.

Jemma shrugged, as if she could control the little one. "It's her birthday," she offered lamely.

Alice poked her head over Melinda's shoulder and her eyes went wide at all of the gifts. "All for me, Lao Lao?"

"Yes, but for later. Come, just because it's your birthday doesn't mean you get to skip your lessons."

Alice pouted but when she caught grandpa with one finger to his lips and a piece of candy in his hand she smiled into her grandma's neck to hide it. Phil leaned over and kissed them both, slipping the candy into Alice's fist before waving them off.

Skye shook her head at her dad's antics.

"Bye bye mama," Alice called. Skye waved with a smile and watched them leave.

"She's just afraid to lose you again," her dad whispered, at her side now.

"I know, and I don't want to lose either of you again but if he ever finds us…"

"Then you run like hell."

Skye glanced up at him before hugging him quickly. She was glad he understood and she really hoped it never came to that. Alice deserved better.

"Look, mate, I get why you're pissed off, but don't take it out on my cousin," Hunter scolded, following a glowering Fitz into the room.

Skye groaned. Not more drama. She'd had enough for one day.

"Our relationship is none of your fucking business, Hunter," Fitz warned, dumping a present on the table and looking around for something to do. Everyone was late, as usual, so there was almost nothing left to do but Skye would damn well put them to work.

"Food, fridge, table," she ordered, motioning to the food table.

Hunter ignored her and faced Fitz, all joking gone from his face as he was in full badass mode. "Jemma _is_ my business. The next time I see her sobbing over you we're going to have a bloody problem, mate. Your handicap doesn't give you license to treat her like shite. And I don't care how much you hate Ward, yell at her again over it and you'll wish you'd died in that bloody ocean."

Trip stepped between the two before Fitz could deck Hunter, putting a stop to their nonsense.

"Stop. It's Alice's birthday. These kiddos are stuck living in this damn base and birthday parties are the only good fun they have. I'm not going to let the two of you ruin this for them."

"Says the person who doesn't have to live in hiding because he abandoned us to work for Stark," Fitz said bitterly, stepping away, pissed off.

Trip sighed and threw his hands up, not in the mood to keep fighting.

"Just tell them, son," Phil said, shaking his head at Hunter and Fitz, disappointed.

Skye knew this had to do with Maria's call but she didn't want to voice her suspicions until she'd talked to Trip alone.

"I left Stark," Trip said, meeting a shocked Hunter's eyes.

"When were you planning to tell me?" Hunter asked.

"After the party. I didn't want to say anything until it was official."

"Why would you do something so stupid?"

Trip shrugged and to his credit he didn't glance at Skye. Skye knew he'd done it for her and she felt guilty. He'd gotten out, he deserved a life, not to be stuck underground with the rest of them.

"I'm a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, not a babysitter for the Avengers."

Skye heard her dad snort and she smiled in his direction. He'd once been the Avengers' babysitter, of course that had gotten him killed, so it was a job that came with an expiration date.

"Like that makes up for leaving," Fitz muttered.

"Food. Fridge. Table." Skye ordered again, irritated. She didn't know what had crawled up his ass over the past few weeks but she was not letting him ruin her daughter's day.

"You know, I'm not really in the mood for a party."

Skye stepped in his way before he could run again and now it was her with steam coming from her ears.

"I know you're in a bad mood today but guess what? I don't fucking care. You're not running off. You're going to plaster a smile on your face and you're going to play games and you're going to stuff your face with cake. If I can do this, then you have no excuse," she scolded.

"If you don't show up you're going to break Alice's heart and I am not going to allow it," she said quietly, knowing he wasn't selfish enough to do that to her.

"You used to say you wouldn't let Ward anywhere near here but here he is."

Skye knew his mood change was because of Ward but she didn't really care.

"Ward has nothing to do with this. You're her uncle, she adores you, and if you skip out on this you're going to regret it."

"She won't even notice I'm gone with him around."

A loud bang filled the room and everyone turned to find a fuming Jemma and a mess of chips on the table near the bowl she'd slammed down.

"Enough. You!" She pointed at Hunter angrily. "Go get the ice chest and fill it with ice and drinks. You," to Trip, "get the damn cake. And _you_," she rounded on Fitz angrily. "I know you're hurting and angry but you do not get to be selfish today. That little girl has been through enough and she wants him here so we're going to deal with it! When it's your fucking birthday you can whine and pout all you want! And if anyone here wants to fucking pick fights I will shove my foot up your ass!" That last threat was directed at Hunter who glowered with a pout.

"But he made you cry-"

"I don't bloody care!" She yelled, close to sobbing. "He's my stupid boyfriend and I will deal with him, I don't need you to protect me, Lance!"

"She's going to kill them both," Trip muttered, sneaking Skye a flask. Bless him, she needed this.

"Maybe not Fitz, but there is no way he's having sex for at least a year," she whispered back, taking a long swig.

"Does he really need to be here for her party? It's not like he belongs."

Trip groaned and Skye took another drink before her dad plucked it from her and took a drink himself, shaking his head. Even he knew better than to mess with Jemma.

Hunter slowly backed away until he was out of her sight and slipped into the kitchen to do as he was told before she yelled at him some more. Now it was just Fitz and Simmons facing off and poor Fitz, this was a fight he wasn't going to win.

"Ward belongs here just as much as any of us do He is our family. Just because we're mad at him doesn't change that. And you don't abandon family. He is never going to get better if we don't let him and Alice wants him here. She deserves to get to know him." Jemma's voice was low and calm and now even Skye was a little afraid. Calm, angry Jemma was scary.

"He's a killer, Jemma. She deserves better than him."

"We're all killers, mate," Hunter said, having reappeared with the ice chest. He looked at Jemma and carefully stepped next to her, trying not to piss her off. She nodded, allowing him to continue to speak. He turned to Fitz and crossed his arms seriously. "You don't get it because you're a lab monkey but field agents are trained to kill and Ward…he wasn't just a field agent, mate. He was trained to be an assassin and a spy. Lying and having to kill is a part of the job. Just because the people he was spying for weren't your people doesn't mean he wasn't just doing his job. I know I've done things that were just as bad for S.H.I.E.L.D.

You can hate him all you want mate, but don't blame Jemma or any of us for forgiving him. Because if he doesn't deserve it then none of us do."

"I'm not the bad guy for hating him," Fitz argued.

Jemma sighed, defeated. "No one says you are but I am so sick of you being angry all the time and taking it out on everyone else. Don't come to the fucking party, I don't care anymore. I'm sick of fighting with you." She left the room and Trip followed after whispering he had this.

Skye rubbed her temples, so done with this day.

"Come on, Hunter, let's get that cake," Coulson offered. Hunter gave Fitz a shake of his head and followed Coulson.

"Skye-"

"Just go. I have too much to do and I am in no mood to deal with you guilting me about Ward."

"But-"

Skye held a hand up, too tired for this. "Jemma is right; we're all sick of fighting with you. It's been a garbage year for everyone and I know for you having Ward here is just the cherry on top of the shit sundae that 2016 has been but that doesn't mean you get to take it out on everyone. I love you, Fitz, and I know what he did to you was awful but you need to stop blaming me for it. And just because he's here now doesn't mean you get to start picking fights with him too. He has no reason to help us and he's still doing it. Hate him all you want but my little girl needs him here. I need him here. I just wish you understood that."

She gave him a long, sad look and walked away. Fitz had every right to be angry but she'd reached her fighting quota for the day, maybe even for the year, and this was a fight to be had on another day.

Though something told her she wouldn't be free of more drama before the night was up.


	11. (Grant) I Know Where to Start

**Title:** Fix a Heart  
**Chapter 11:** (Grant) I Know Where to Start  
**Author:** snarkysweetness  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters:** Team Bus, Team Playground, Team Avengers, etc.  
**Pairings:** Skyeward, Philinda, Fitzsimmons, Huntingbird, TripHunter, Clintasha, BuckyKate, KaraMike, Pepper/Tony, &amp; Izzy/Victoria with past Hawkingbird &amp; Melinda/Hyde  
**Summary:** Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.  
**Warnings:** Angst, canon-typical violence, sexual situations, &amp; swearing.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Author's Notes:** Here's the thing: this story is about coping with trauma, dealing with mental illness, and learning how to forgive. All concepts the show was/is too lazy to portray. None of these characters would be okay after what happened to them in Season One and it always disgusted me that the show just ignored all of it (though, unsurprising since we as a society dismiss mental health). Not just that but Ward spent his entire life being abused, Skye spent hers being passed around like an unwanted potato, and don't even get me started on May's trauma, so they were already not okay. Everyone in S.H.I.E.L.D. is fucked up and in need of help and that's what this story is, at it's core, about. If you can't handle your faves not being perfectly okay and actually dealing with their issues, this is not the story for you. And if you can't grasp the fact that I've crafted this in a way that I only tell you plot points when it's time and there is an actual, deep, intricate story being told that is going to take time, this isn't the story for you. I'm not going to dumb anything down or give away plots to lazy audiences. And I used this term because that is the issue with the show. Season One was so good because it took time to develop characters and plots, which audiences were too lazy to appreciate. Now it's a piece of shit that does things for shock value and takes no time to develop anything and critics love it because they're terrible. Everything in this story is intention and I've had it detailed and plotted out since I started posting it. I know I took a long hiatus but that doesn't mean it isn't still the same story I intended to post all along. And if you hate Grant Ward, I don't fucking care. Go find some other author to troll because you have nothing better to do than find fics with character you hate so you can shit on them. His redemption will not be given to him, he is going to earn it, but that is his journey here and if you can't handle that, too bad, because this isn't being written for you. The only reason I bother to share this and yes, guess what? Writers aren't required to share their work. You are not entitled to our words. But I decided to share this story and do my best to finish it despite my life being complete shit right now because the people who loved these characters from the start and got shit on and alienated deserve what I have planned for this fic and I'm writing it for them. I try to engage with every reviewer but I am not longer going to respond to those that are clearly trolls. Go find a life, honestly, it's sad that you spend your time focused on shit you hate. One of my beta readers is even someone who doesn't care for Ward, so there is no excuse to complain something is out of character simply because you don't like him not being presented as a demon with horns. And there is no trickery going on. Yes, there's a little mystery but everything you need to know is in the text at the time. If you take time to read what's there you shouldn't be confused. I have three beta readers who help me make sure the plot is easy to understand. You should be trying to put some pieces together on things, that's the point of telling the story in the format I chose. To the rest of you who have stuck with me and who get what I'm doing and have shown appreciation, I thank you. This author's note isn't meant to be a scolding but I've been getting some really disgusting comments about the fic that in essence stem from being haters and I have no fucking patience for these people. In the wise words of the beautiful, eternal Carrie Fisher: "It's the most amazing thing to be able to forgive. And so difficult. But relationships are difficult." And that could very well be the summary of this story. It's about learning to forgive and how hard relationships are and learning how to cope with the trauma of life. I hope I haven't scared some of you off with this but I needed to get that off of my chest.

Grant stood in confusion as Skye ran off. His heart told him to run after her but his brain knew better. She needed space and he needed to stay away. It was what she wanted; or at least, what he'd assumed she wanted. Now he wasn't so sure.

Objectively he knew Skye was better off without him. Not only did she deserve more than he could ever give her but that sweet little girl deserved a father figure without so much blood on his hands.

But emotionally he knew Skye was the love of his life. There had never been anyone before her and there would never be anyone else. When it came to romance she was it for him. And when it came to having a family…

He was a danger to anyone who loved him. He knew better than to go down that path. He would never intentionally bring another life into this world, knowing his family was out there, waiting to get him back for escaping them. And knowing Hydra was still out there and that they weren't even the worst thing in the world to worry about.

No, he wasn't selfish enough to knowingly subject a child to this world but he did want a family of his own. People to love, to keep safe, and to give the life he'd always wanted for himself.

He wanted to give Alice that life. Two parents who loved her and would do anything for her. A real family, like the one he and Skye had been denied. He wasn't sure about much in life but he knew that the two of them together could give her everything she could ever want and more. And she had already been through her fair share of trauma. He wanted to be there for her to make sure she would be kept safe, healthy, and happy.

He'd done his share of terrible things but he was still capable of love. He loved the team, he loved Thomas and Alison and Kate, he'd loved his Gramsy, and he loved Skye and that little girl. He didn't deserve any of them and he didn't expect any of them to forgive him but it didn't change the fact that he desperately wanted them to.

Maybe he wasn't ready for this. Being around everyone he loved. Everyone he'd hurt. Maybe this really was too much for everyone to deal with.

With a sigh he trudged out of the room, desperately needing his therapy session. A few years ago he would have never believed he'd find so much value in a field he thought was a crap but now he couldn't imagine his life without it. He'd learned so much about himself and come to accept his past in just a short amount of time and he would forever be grateful that Coulson hadn't given up on him. Without him he wouldn't have gotten the help he desperately needed and he probably wouldn't be alive today.

He wished it had been Phil Coulson who had shown up in that detention center and not John. But he couldn't think about John without feeling immense shame. He knew he'd been young and in need of a parental figure but he still felt so stupid for allowing himself to be brainwashed. Now that he knew how he'd done it he hated himself for not seeing it sooner.

If he had he wouldn't have lost everyone he loved. Everyone who had at one time loved him.

"Oy, mate, you look lost."

Grant breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Hunter.

"I have no idea where anything but the food is."

Hunter threw an arm around him and shook his head. "See, but that is the most important thing to know. So, where are we headed?"

Grant suspected Hunter had been assigned as his babysitter but he wasn't going to complain. It was better than having May glowering over him. Or worse, Golden Boy Trip lingering around with his perfection reminding Grant of how inadequate he was.

"Therapy."

"Ah! Yes, Coulson's pre-requisite to setting foot in this building. You know, he tried to get May to do it? I had never actually seen someone have a vase thrown at their head but there is a first time for everything."

Grant was sure he was exaggerating but then again he wouldn't want to cross Melinda May. He'd made that mistake and hadn't been able to speak for months.

"So…everyone has to do therapy?"

"Coulson won't clear anyone for duty without it. Well…almost everyone. I'm not saying your girl isn't a damn fine agent but the nepotism is there, mate."

After what Skye had been through he wasn't sure she should be exempt from therapy but that wasn't his call to make.

"Though, with the way we're all cooped up here the cabin fever is strong. No one gets out unless it's for a mission. Poor Fitz doesn't get to go in the field. I think he's starting to go a bit mad, to be honest."

"But not Jemma?" He didn't imagine she got out of the base much either.

"Nah, she had her fill of the real world when she was undercover with your old bosses."

Grant stopped in his tracks, horrified. "She…but…" She was too good to be among those monsters. "She can't tell a lie to save her life! Is Coulson crazy?"

"Things change, mate. Besides, she clearly made it out alive. He's not stupid, he sent Bobbi in with her. They got made together, of course, thanks to your buddy Raina, but we got them out. Still have a few we weren't able to save but that is where you come in. Assuming they're still alive, of course."

"Because that's not a lot of pressure or anything," Grant muttered, knowing the agents caught on the inside would be better off dead. His brainwashing had been psychological but Hydra had ways of doing things a bit more quickly and a bit more permanently.

"Eh, you can handle it and if you can't, that's what alcohol is for."

Grant rolled his eyes as they walked down a flight of stairs and turned down a corridor. They passed what looked like classrooms before heading down another hallway. Hunter led him into a waiting room but Grant walked past it to a window to what was clearly the infirmary.

"There are other children here?" He asked, seeing a few playing in another waiting room. Past them, Fitz was giving Alice a lollipop while Trip sat with the grumpy toddler. She had her arms crossed angrily while Jemma placed a bandage on her arm after drawing a bit of blood.

His heart sank and he felt himself frowning. Getting poked with needles sucked as an adult but as a kid?

The urge to protect her was so strong he forgot all about Hunter until he started speaking.

"Yes. This is the safest base. The others are tiny, meant to be used for emergencies or the helicarriers. They aren't really built for living on. Only agents with political ties were pardoned or the ones who defected to other agencies. Stark got his hands on as many as he could but the rest of us who couldn't get pardons and wanted to avoid prison or who actually wanted to stay with S.H.I.E.L.D. had to go underground. Coulson didn't think it was fair for families to be spit up so anyone with a family got first dibs on this base. He put every dime Stark gave him into rebuilding this to what it is now. It's a good home base for now but man, I can't wait to have my own damn place again. And to not be a bloody fugitive."

Grant watched Alice for another moment before he caught Fitz watching him with a scowl. He retreated back to the waiting room he was meant to be in and took a seat sadly.

"Is that what Coulson is hoping to get with me here?"

He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do other than break them into Hydra bases and kill Skye's bastard father. He was no damn hero. He was just resourceful.

"Hell no, mate. No one thinks you're that good. Once the election is over and our girl wins we're getting pardons and Stark Security can admit it's a big front for S.H.I.E.L.D. and we can be back in business. We'll be able to operate freely and have our full resources back and life will be back to normal.

You're here because Coulson has a vendetta against Hydra. He wants to finish taking them out, along with Skye's father and his whole Inhuman cult. Plus, they have a lot of our people. We want them back. Bobbi tried her damndest but there's still a fair few missing. They're probably dead but we need to be sure."

Grant stared at his hands before sighing loudly. "If they're not dead you may never get them back. I mean…you can get them back but mentally they'll be gone. If they didn't defect willingly it means they were tortured into submission or subject to brainwashing."

"Even so, soldiers never leave a man behind. They're our people and we'll do our best to save them."

Grant snorted. "Yeah? Is that Coulson's excuse for his investment in me?"

"You're still one of ours, Agent Ward, even if you don't want to be."

Coulson stood watching them from the doorway for a moment before taking a seat next to Grant.

"Checking up on me, sir?"

"No, just checking to make sure you found your way." Grant caught him looking towards the closed office door and he wondered who was in there that had Coulson so worried.

"I don't see the need, I'm an excellent tour guide."

"Of course you are, Lance," Coulson muttered dismissively, knowing better.

"I know you aren't ready to believe it yet, but you belong here, Grant. Just because you lost your way doesn't make you any less of an agent. You've put in years of hard work for this agency and when we needed you to come home you did because you're one us."

"I'm not sure that's true, sir. I may not have really been loyal to Hydra but I wasn't loyal to S.H.I.E.L.D. either. I was only ever there for John and now we both know why I'm back and it isn't for the agency."

"Even more proof you belong here because S.H.I.E.L.D. is in her blood and this has always been her home.

But she isn't the only reason you're here. We need to get our people back and I know we will with your help. And after, I hope you'll finally see that you have a purpose. And not just as an asset. I know there's a good man in there and I don't want you to lose sight of that."

Grant shifted uncomfortably, not sure there was anything he could ever do to make up for his past transgressions. "I think a lot of people would disagree with you, sir."

Like Fitz, his first real friend since Kate. A friend he'd destroyed while trying to save his life. And his intentions didn't matter because the outcome of his actions had hurt him in ways that he'd never fully recover from.

He understood Coulson was big on second chances and fixing people but he wasn't sure he was worthy of his efforts. He was grateful, of course, but he wasn't worthy.

"I think you're giving me more credit than I deserve, sir."

"He's not Natasha, sir," Hunter muttered as he flipped through a magazine, bored.

"Romanoff?" Grant asked, confused.

"Ignore him," Coulson ordered.

Hunter glanced over at Grant with a smirk, ignoring Coulson.

"When Nat was still with the KGB, taking out all of our best agents, murdering entire families, she was a threat that needed to be eliminated. And Fury made the mistake of thinking Clunt-" Coulson shot him a glare and Hunter shrugged dismissively, "sorry, _Clint_, would be the best man for the job. What he didn't count on was him being unable to kill her because she was so damn hot."

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Coulson muttered.

"Don't look at me like that, sir, it's the truth.

Anyway, before Fury could order her to be put down Phil here fell for those sad, haunted eyes of hers and his damn savior complex kicked in so he talked the boss into letting him and May become her handlers so they could make her one of us. And of course they worked their magic on her and she made amends for all of the killing and other wrongdoings.

He wants to fix you like he fixed Nat, mate. You're his new project because his baby girl used to go gaga over you so he thinks there must be something worth saving.

But don't worry, I've got twenty he's right about you. I like rooting for a lost cause. Keeps things interesting."

Grant glared at him. "Gee, thanks for the support, Hunter."

Coulson pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting off a migraine.

"You're not a project, Grant, and neither was Natasha."

"Good, because I am no Natasha Romanoff."

"No fucking shite, mate.

Look, she's good to look at, don't get me wrong, but she's a grade A pain in my arse. I don't know what I did to piss off Fury but he put her and Clunt on my damn team and all she ever did was question my authority and do whatever the hell she damn well pleased."

"That's because you have no authority," Coulson said seriously.

"Oy! I have enough! It's not my fault the woman's a bloody menace."

Coulson rolled his eyes. "Hunter, give us a minute."

"What am I? The bloody help? You can't just dismiss me."

Coulson shot him a 'look' and Hunter threw his hands up. "Fine, but only because Jemma keeps candy in her office."

"I mean it," Coulson said once they were alone. "I believe in you. There is good inside of you. And you can follow the same path that Natasha did. She did so much worse than you ever did, all before she was sixteen. If Clint hadn't seen something good in her, who knows where she'd be now. She found someone who gave her a chance and now she is not only one of our best agents but she has a life. She's happy, she's found a way to live with her past. And she works every day to keep making amends.

People think I'm crazy for believing in you but they thought I was crazy to fight so hard for her. And in the end, I was proven right. I think in the long run I'll be proven right with you too."

Before Grant could tell him how much his faith meant to him he felt the air in the room shift. He knew she was there before he looked up to find her standing there. He did his best to ignore the butterflies in his stomach and he looked away, afraid if she caught him staring he'd scare her off again.

Coulson gave his shoulder a squeeze and Grant gave him a grateful smile. It fell, however, when his jealousy flared at the sight of Trip comforting Skye. He knew it was own damn fault he wasn't the one she could use as a shoulder to lean on but that didn't stop the bitterness he felt.

"You're late. Again."

So this was what Hunter meant by Skye getting a pass.

"Well, Doc, if I'm too late we should reschedule. I don't want to keep your other appointment waiting."

Grant couldn't help the smile he gave her. That spirited girl he'd fallen in love with was still in there, rearing for a fight, as always.

"He has paperwork to fill out and we still have twenty minutes for you to not talk."

Grant remembered those days, when he resisted therapy, having been taught from a very young age that only the weak needed help. Breaking out of that had saved him. He knew it wasn't his place but maybe it was something he should share with Skye, so she would get the help she needed.

He couldn't even begin to imagine the horrors she must have endured at the hands of her father. He didn't even want to think about it. Just knowing she'd been hurt was enough to make his blood boil. Skye deserved the world. To be safe and happy and loved, not to be a complete mess like he was.

Grant didn't relish the idea of ever taking another life but for Seamus MacDougal, he'd make an exception.

"Agent Ward," the doctor held out her hand and he shook it with a half-smile. "I'm Robin Sousa. Look these over to make sure I have all of your information correct. Once Agent Coulson leaves you can come right in."

"Thanks," he muttered, taking the clipboard. He tapped his pen against it while he stared at the door, wondering how Skye was doing.

"Look at him. He's so bloody in love with her it's pathetic. You owe me fifty bucks by the way."

Hunter threw himself into a chair, a pink lollipop in his mouth.

Trip rolled his eyes and sat across from Hunter.

"I told you, no one was taking that damn bet."

"You really are trying to make money off of my suffering, aren't you?"

"We all weren't born with a silver spoon."

Grant snorted. "Sorry to break it to you but my family disowned me a long time ago." Not that he would touch their money. He had everything his Gramsy had left him squared away but he'd always lived off of the money he'd made on his own.

"Damn, I should have started a pool over why Skye was with you. Now that I know it wasn't for the money it must be because you're good in bed."

"I don't know about that, you'll have to ask her," Grant teased.

Hunter winked in his direction and bit into his candy. "Don't worry, we'll pretend that's what it was."

"You're like a child," Trip scolded, shaking his head.

He shrugged and took another lollipop from his pocket. "You're the one sleeping with me."

"Man, give me that," Trip said as he took the unopened lollipop for himself, much to Hunter's annoyance.

"Oy! That's mine!"

"So? Go get another one."

Hunter groaned and sat back, contemplating whether he wanted to get up or not. "Fine, but only because I'm starving."

"You just ate!" Trip called after him.

He waited a moment, making sure Hunter was gone, before standing and moving in front of Grant.

Grant sighed, knowing abuse was coming, but willing to take it.

"I need to get this off my chest if I'm going to play along with Coulson's whole play nice with you bullshit.

I don't like you. I don't trust you. And I don't care how fucked up your childhood was because we've all got bad shit in our lives and it didn't turn us into cold-blooded killers. Skye is my best friend and you destroyed her. And I am not even going to get into what you did to Fitz.

I'll go along with this, because unlike you I'm loyal to the people that love me. And for some fucked up reason Skye loves you and I love her enough to give you a chance. But if you fuck this up I will make sure you pay for it. I'm not going to let you hurt them again.

Most people don't get second chances, especially when they haven't earned them. Don't waste it."

Grant met his eyes with conviction. "I won't."

"She kicked me out without candy. Apparently they are 'only for the children'. Can you believe that?"

Trip shot his not-boyfriend a 'are you fucking kidding me' look before shaking his head in disbelief.

"What are you two up to?" Hunter asked suspiciously.

"It seems Ward here is like you; one look at Alice and he's wrapped around her tiny finger. He was just asking me how to get off-base so he could get the kiddo some presents."

Hunter scoffed. "Isn't she spoiled enough?"

"Says the man who bought an entire aisle of the toy store for tonight."

"I don't really see your point. She's _my_ goddaughter. It's literally my job to spoil her so she loves me unconditionally even though I'm a human disaster."

"I was right; you're a child."

Hunter waved him off and turned to Grant. "Don't worry, I'll put your name on a few; she won't know the difference."

"Thanks, Lance."

"Anytime, mate. Now, come on, beefcake, I think there's still a frozen pizza."

"You know you don't have to eat seven meals a day."

Grant ignored their bickering as they walked off. Trip had made him realize he did need to give Alice a gift. Sure, he could take Hunter's offer but he wanted to give her a gift that meant something. Like his old stuffed dog. She seemed to love stuffed animals and he'd taken a lot of comfort from the small object, maybe she would too.

Though, he was sure they'd burned his things a long time ago. Which was too bad, it was the only thing from his childhood he'd bothered to hold on to because it had been a gift from his Gramsy.

He smiled at the memory of her. She, Thomas, and Alison had been the only good people in his family and he missed them something fierce. Maybe things would have been different if she hadn't died. She'd always been the one person who tried to keep them safe.

The door to the office flew open and a sobbing Skye flew past him.

Grant jumped to his feet, ready to chase after her, but Dr. Sousa stepped in front of him and shook her head. "Leave her, you will only make it worse. Come on," she motioned towards her office. He hesitated for a moment, really wanting to check on her. But he supposed if her therapist was telling him to back of he should listen.

"Is she going to be okay?" He asked lamely as he took his seat.

"Are you asking because you're worried about her or because you think she's upset because of you?"

He sighed. So, she was one of those.

"You don't need to shrink me, Doc. I'm not one of those patients."

"One of what patients?"

"I'm worried because I love her, which I know you already know from my file. We don't need to waste time discussing my unhealthy love for Skye."

She sat back with a small smile, apparently having decided she liked him. "It's not unhealthy to love someone, Grant. True, the days when you were hallucinating being with her were unhealthy, but you only did so because as a coping mechanism you clung to the one person who made you feel safe."

She was good.

"You're still not going to tell me how she's doing, are you?"

"Nope. But I will tell you that someday I hope to have you both on that couch at the same time so we can work out the issues between the two of you."

He doubted Skye would ever allow that.

She read his expression and closed his file, leaning forward with a sigh. "I know, but let me have my fantasies," she teased with a wink.

"Now," she said, tossing his file aside and meeting his eyes. "Let's get down to business, shall we?

You've done this new therapist thing too many times to start over so we're going to pick up where you left off. I'm all caught up on your past sessions and I'm ready to go but I do want you to get comfortable with me. So today let's just start slow and tomorrow we'll start daily sessions. I know you weren't doing that many in prison but being back amongst people, especially people you've hurt, has to be overwhelming so until I'm sure you can handle life here without the crutch of therapy that's what we're going to do. Is that okay with you?"

He sighed in relief. He knew he needed the extra attention, especially if the last twelve hours were any indication. "Yes. I'll do as much work as you want me to."

"You seem distressed already, has it been that bad?"

"No, actually. They're all being much nicer than I was expecting. I mean, I knew they would behave, because they have to, but some of them are actually being kind and treating like a person? Coulson is probably making them and Trip basically told me as much when he chewed me out but-JEMMA!

She should hate me! It's my fault Fitz almost died. If anyone should loathe me, it's her. But she doesn't. And when I explained why I did what I did she said she understood and I actually think she's telling the truth. If anything, she's not angry but disappointed in me. Like I'm a dog who peed on the carpet and that carpet is Fitz.

And it's freaking me out because she seems sweet and innocent on the outside but there's a little twisted mad scientist in there and this could all be an act so she can strike when I least expect it. Not that I don't deserve it, but she still scares me.

Hunter's great. He's actually friendly and I like him and him I trust. Not that I don't trust the others, but we're the same. We were both trained to take orders and to do what was necessary. And we were taught how to kill. We understand each other. And it's nice, having someone who gets it, but I miss Fitz. And he really hates me. And I know I deserve it but seeing him so angry…" Grant toyed with the ring on his finger, embarrassed that he'd launched into a tirade like that, but knowing he'd needed it.

"Trip has already made it clear his nice guy act is just that. Which I'm fine with. I don't need them all fighting because of me. May wants me dead. I can see it in her eyes but she's going along with this because of Skye and Coulson.

I still don't know why Coulson is taking a chance on me. I mean, I know why, but I don't deserve it. Even with the Stockholm, I feel I should have come clean about everything before it was too late. And I know that's something I need to work on but I still feel guilty and like I don't deserve this chance.

And I think a big part of it is that they're all I ever wanted. A real family. And I had it and I was too blind to see it. I know John just took the place of my big brother and he conditioned me to be his damn lap dog but I loved Skye and the team so much and he tried to have Skye killed. I should have told Coulson everything then. But…"

He stared down at his hands, feeling the same cycle of guilt and self-pity he always went through when it came to the subject of the team.

"Skye has every right to hate me. And when I got here I thought she did but then she admitted she still loves me. But it hurts her too much to be around me and I understand that I need to stay away from her but I don't know how I'm supposed to do that knowing she feels the same way I do.

This would be so much easier if she just hated me. Then I could keep my distance from her and Alice and I wouldn't be putting them in danger by being around."

Sousa's eyes went wide with surprise and she grabbed her notepad. "Skye told you about Alice?"

"Um…" He blinked in confusion. "Not really? I mean, I met her last night, kind of."

"And what was that like for you?"

"Why does that matter?"

"You can't show up after years away to find the woman you love has a child and not have some feelings about it. I mean, you just said you want to keep your distance because you think you're a danger to her. You don't even know this girl and you're already concerned for her welfare so clearly meeting her has affected you."

"Of course I care about her welfare. Why wouldn't I? She's a child. Children are supposed to be kept safe and loved and her father is an abusive monster who doesn't give a damn about her. She's already been through too much and she's already in enough danger. She doesn't need someone like me coming into her life and making things worse.

And you're right, I don't know her but I fell in love with her the moment I laid eyes on her. It's stupid but she's Skye's and I love Skye and I just feel this overwhelming desire to keep them both safe. I know I'm not her father but I wish I was because I would do everything in my power to protect her."

"But you just said you are a danger. You don't think you're worthy of this chance you've been given to have a new life."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't do my best if Skye let me.

I know I shouldn't be anywhere near them but if she gave me the chance I wouldn't tell her 'no'. I'm too selfish to stay away."

Sousa sighed and shook her head. "Grant, the fact that you care so much about someone you just met is proof that you aren't selfish. Skye is a grown woman, capable of making her own decisions. If she decides she wants you in her and her child's life it means she doesn't believe you're a danger to them.

And if she decides she wants nothing to do with you it doesn't make you a danger either, it just means she doesn't want to take that risk, which is her right.

I hate to break this to you but you're never going to be cured. You are going to spend the rest of your life working at having a healthy life. Even people who aren't emotionally damaged have to work at being happy. And you suffered years of emotional, mental, and physical abuse from the people who were supposed to keep you safe. Your parents, John, even your older brother. You don't just get over that. You learn to accept what they did to you and you work to move on with your life but all that work doesn't erase what happened. You just learn to live with it.

And you need to stop seeing yourself as a bad person. You were conditioned to do terrible things. Have you been a good man in the past? No. But you can choose to be one.

I don't want to focus on your past, Grant. I want the work we do here to be for your future. Because, guess what? For the first time in your life you actually have one. I know you haven't realized that yet, but I hope you do soon, because you can do amazing things if you let yourself.

It's not going to be easy. You have a lot of amends to make and work to do to rebuild your relationships and earn forgiveness. And not everyone is going to give it you and that's okay because you'll know you tried.

That's all any of us can do; try our best.

I want you to recognize when you're doing your best because the first person you need to earn forgiveness from is yourself. No one is going to trust you when you're wallowing in guilt. It's okay to feel it from time to time but you can't let it consume you. You need to learn to forgive yourself and I'm going to help you with that.

Now, I can't tell you what to do when it comes to Skye but let me give you some advice.

She, along with everyone else here, is dealing with her own demons. She has her own work to do and getting back into a relationship with you may not be what's best for her but if she decides otherwise you shouldn't question it. Life is too short and you need people in your corner.

She may need time and space. And if that's the case you shouldn't take it personally. Just be in her corner. That's how you rebuild trust, by being there for people. Because at the end of that day that is all relationships are; showing up for people when they need you.

As far as Alice goes, it's up to Skye to decide if you're a danger to her or not, not you.

But, from what I can see, you really do love them and I don't believe for a second you would intentionally hurt them."

He knew she was right about everything but there was still something gnawing at the pit of his stomach.

"And what if Skye lets me into their life and that little girl falls in love with me and starts to depend on me and I relapse and they get hurt because of it?"

She gave him a concerned look. "Grant, are you saying you want to die?"

"No! I don't anymore but the last time I snapped and tried to kill myself I thought I was fine. It just came out of nowhere and what if that happens again? What if it happens and I hurt one of them? Or what if it happens and I die this time and it destroys them? It's not safe for them to get attached. I'm broken."

"Grant, that was different. Solitary confinement breaks down your psyche. From what you're telling me I don't see any current suicidal ideations.

I know it seemed like your last episode came from nowhere but you weren't fine, Grant. At that point you were still refusing to really open up in therapy and yes, you'd stopped having the hallucinations but that doesn't mean you were better. You had just learned to cope with your situation.

And It didn't simply come from nowhere. You were very sick in there and I think the prospect of spending your life like that, away from the people you'd come to love, was too much for you.

I'm not saying you won't ever want to kill yourself again but I don't think you're at risk for it now. And if I'm wrong and you feel like you want to hurt yourself or someone else you come straight to me. I will help you through it. You're not alone."

"I'm still scared," he admitted.

"And that's good. It means you want to live. You have an incredible opportunity here to fix things with the people you consider to be your real family. Take it."

He nodded. "I'll do my best."

She gave him a kind smile. "And that is all you can do.

Now, I want to go see Dr. Simmons. Her office is down the hall. She's typically back in her lab by now but she's expecting you so she should be there waiting. On my end you're cleared for duty but you still need to pass a physical and be recertified to carry a firearm. You won't be allowed back in the field until you get the go-ahead from her."

He stood and followed her to the door.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I will see you at nine a.m. tomorrow. Good luck."

He made his way to Jemma's office and was relived to find her alone.

Jemma gave him a smile and grabbed a clipboard and led him towards another hallway. "I know it's kind of a maze at first but eventually you will learn to get around. Just use the common room as your starting point. Offices, dorms, interrogation rooms are to the left. You know where the kitchen and garage are. To the right we have the tech labs, my lab, the medical lab, etcetera. And a few floors down we have the vaults, but I doubt you'll have the need to go down there again."

"Unless Trip wins the pool."

Jemma had the decency to look guilty. "I don't know who told you but I will have you know that I have twenty on you getting that thing off within the year," she said cheerfully, pointing to his tracking ring before turning on the lights to the training facility.

"Jemma, why are you being so nice to me?"

Jemma laid out the equipment she'd brought along and began untangling cords while she shrugged off his question. "I already told you; it's unhealthy to hold onto anger."

"I know you did but I don't know if I believe that's all it is. Hunter and I, we're the same, so he understands me. Coulson has his hero complex. And Skye…Skye is too good to openly hate me while she works out her feelings. So those three being nice to me, I understand. It's you that I can't wrap my head around. You have every reason to hate me."

Jemma shook her head as she plugged cords into an EKG machine. "Hate is a prison and I've chosen to not cage myself," she whispered before glancing up at him. "I have hated you, don't get me wrong. I hated you for years. And when Coulson suggested breaking you out of prison I was so angry at first.

How could Coulson even think about brining you here when you hurt his daughter. Skye loved you so much. I don't even think you understood how much. None of us did, until we saw what your betrayal did to her. And she pretends she's fine and over you but it's an act. A good act. Most of the time I think even she believes it.

And Fitz…he is so angry all of the time. At himself for not getting better as quickly as he'd like, at you for doing it to him, and at the rest of us for not being physically handicapped. He was even so angry with Dr. Sousa for trying to get him to let go of his anger that he stopped going to therapy.

So, I was angry at Coulson. But Dr. Sousa gave me some perspective.

Every single person here is damaged in some way. We've all been through hell and back and yet we're all still standing. A big part of that is that we aren't suffering alone with our illnesses because Coulson is amazing and made sure we all had the held we needed. But also because we have each other.

I could have never survived the past three years without my family. And I don't mean my mum and dad; I love them so much but even if I could tell them about my life, they wouldn't understand it. But Hunter, Bobbi, Triplett…our team on the bus, that's my real family. And you're a part of that family, Ward.

Yes, you made many mistakes and you hurt us but you're still a part of this family. No matter what Skye or Fitz might think, I don't believe for a second all of that was a lie. That man who played board games with us and burned cookies trying to make Fitz happy when he missed home and who told _terrible_ puns is the real you.

You don't abandon family, Ward, and you're still family. And you're sick, maybe more than the rest of us. You've started getting better by getting help and I'm so proud of you for that but you can only do so much on your own. You need people to stand with you and be on your side, so I'm going to be the first.

And while I'm glad you and Hunter are getting along he isn't stable enough to be your support system. So, for now, I'm your person. Got it? I know you'd rather it be Skye but until she has less on her plate and figures out how to feel about you, you're stuck with me."

"There are worse people I could be stuck with," Grant whispered, close to tears.

She smiled. "You saved my life once and I'm going to repay that debt by helping you get yours back."

"Jemma, you don't owe me anything. If it wasn't for me, Fitz-"

"I believe you when you say you were trying to save us, Ward. That pod shouldn't have sunk. You can't continue to feel guilty about that. If you hadn't gotten us off the bus, he would have killed us both and you."

Grant pulled her into a hug. "You're too good of a person."

"I know, it's what makes me so irresistible," she teased, playfully pushing him away. "Now, take off your shirt."

"Jemma, I appreciate our renewed friendship but I'm a one-woman kind of man and that woman is still Skye-"

"Oh hush," Jemma scolded, her cheeks red. "I need to put these on you, jackass." She held up the electrodes with a scowl and he chuckled with a shake of his head and did as he was told. Jemma looked him over, her expression morphing into one of worry.

"I'm fine."

"You are not fine. You're malnourished, you've lost a lot of muscle, and I'm not sure you're ready for this test. Maybe we should get you back into the gym and on a new diet for a few weeks before we even think about running these."

He didn't have a few weeks. The kiddo was in danger now.

"No! Let's do these! I worked out in my cell. I may be skinnier but I can still do this."

Jemma narrowed her gaze before attaching the cold, sticky electrodes to his chest harshly. He did his best not to wince, she was stronger than she looked, but she still caught him and gave him a smug smile.

"On the treadmill! Let's see how not fine you are," Jemma ordered.

"When I pass this physical, you owe me a beer," he insisted with a smile.

"It's a good thing we're out," Jemma muttered with a smirk.


	12. (Grant) I Have the Will to Fight

**Title:** Fix a Heart  
**Chapter 12:** (Grant) I Have the Will to Fight  
**Author:** snarkysweetness  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters:** Team Bus, Team Playground, Team Avengers, etc.  
**Pairings:** Skyeward, Philinda, Fitzsimmons, Huntingbird, TripHunter, Clintasha, BuckyKate, KaraMike, Pepper/Tony, &amp; Izzy/Victoria with past Hawkingbird &amp; Melinda/Hyde  
**Summary:** Season Two AU: Two and a half years after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson and his team are still struggling to rise from the ashes, slowly piecing their lives and organization back together one shard at a time. With nowhere else to turn and the life of one of their own on the line they're left with no choice but to break Ward out of prison and bring him along for the ride. Filled with angst, betrayal, romance, and snark! Come along for the whimsical ride down what will never happen in season two.  
**Warnings:** Angst, canon-typical violence, sexual situations, &amp; swearing.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Author's Notes:** Grant Ward is so tiny and dumb and precious and sometimes it hurts me.

An hour later he was cursing Jemma.

Sure, he knew he wasn't in the shape he'd used to be in but he wasn't aware it was that bad. He'd done his best to work out in his cell but the prison food and lack of training equipment had done a number on his body.

He was a weakling and a failure and Jesus, was this what normal people felt like?

"I knew you weren't ready for this. You are not going anywhere near the field."

"Come on, Jemma, Skye needs me-"

"No, what she needs is for you not to get killed on your first mission.

I am putting you a strict diet. High protein, high calorie. _Lots_ of fish. You need those omega oil fats.

And not only do I need you to put on weight but I need you to build up muscle again. While that is going to take some time, I'm going to start you out with hell week training, led by Hunter. He may seem like he's filled with nothing but sarcasm and dick jokes but he's actually a very skilled soldier. You'll be in good hands.

I'm going to need you to come here straight after therapy tomorrow for your firearms test. Once that's done you're going to spend the entire day training. Your days will now consist of therapy, eating, training, more eating, more training, and sleep. Got it?"

He nodded. She was using her 'mom' tone and he already knew better than to tell her 'no' to begin with.

"Why can't I start today?"

Jemma smiled. "I like your enthusiasm, but I know you didn't sleep last night so I want you to get some rest and eat some real food. You need to start getting seven hours a night. I know it will be hard and I can prescribe something if you need it but I need you take care of your body. With our line of work a regular sleeping schedule is impossible to adhere to but until I say you can go to the field you don't have to worry about that."

"Better write that prescription, then."

Even though he was already beat and training would physically exhaust him he didn't want to take chances. He'd do whatever Jemma told him to do. He wanted to get back to the way he was before. Physically perfect. Mentally sharp. Ready to jump into action at any moment.

He wouldn't be able to keep Skye or Alice safe otherwise.

Jemma smiled, happy he was taking this seriously.

"I'll see if we have anything in stock; if not I'll get Hunter or Triplett to make a run. We need supplies anyway. Until then, go get lunch. Make it a big one. And take a nap before the party. You look like you need it," she said quietly, worried.

It was nice having someone care this much. It had been a long time.

"Thanks, Jemma."

"Well, it's my job. Because I just _had _to get an MD while I was getting all of those PhDs it to show off. And now I get to use it," she muttered bitterly. "Yay, me," she cheered sarcastically.

He sympathized with her. She was already running the lab and on top of that she had the added stress of being the base physician. He didn't imagine they had another option at the moment, being fugitives and all.

"I promise to be your best patient."

"You'd better be because those little brats aren't strong competition."

"Come on, they can't be that bad," he insisted with a smile. "They're so tiny and cute."

Jemma laughed as she led him towards the kitchen. "Kids are cute when you can give them back, Ward. Remember that. They are not cute when you have to deal with them screaming as you're holding them down to give them their damn flu shots because their parents can't control them."

"I saw you with Alice, earlier. She wasn't screaming."

"That's because she's the most intelligent and well-behaved child on this base. It's one of the many reasons why she's the only child I like" she said seriously. After a moment added, "but don't tell Natasha I said that."

He hid a smile and waved at Hunter, who was still eating. Not only was there pizza in front of him but he'd polished off a bag or chips and what looked like a box of cookies.

"Don't give me that judgmental look, I'm a growing boy."

Jemma rolled her eyes and took his slice of pizza off of his plate, to his protest.

"Bye, boys," she teased, kissing Hunter's cheek before walking off. "Play nice," she called with a wave.

"Bloody menace," he muttered, staring at his empty plate. He glanced at the last slice for a moment before offering it to Grant, who took it happily. He was starving.

"Thanks," he said, taking a seat. He could tell Hunter sharing food meant he really liked him. But instead of teasing him about it he had important business to attend to. Business he hoped Jemma didn't find out about.

"I need your help with something, but you can't tell Jemma."

"Whatever it is, I'm in. Damn pizza thief."

Grant smiled and polished off his slice before continuing. "I need to get back into training, _now_. If you can spare some time today, I need a sparring partner. I need to see where my muscle memory is so I know what I need to focus on. I can't wait until tomorrow."

"Yes!" Hunter jumped up in excitement. "Let's go! I'm so bloody bored, mate, and I'm going to wipe the mats with you."

Grant followed him with a frown. He was out of shape, sure, but he could still take Hunter.

* * *

Okay, so maybe he'd underestimated Hunter.

Grant lay sprawled out on the mat, pissed off. His ego was as bruised as his ass and there were other bruises forming everywhere else that he couldn't ignore and he felt out of breath.

It was official: he was useless.

How had it come to this? He'd once been the perfect physical specimen and now he was no better than a fat toddler.

Coulson had had grossly overestimated his ability to be an asset. If Grant couldn't even best Hunter in a boxing match how was he going to handle the field?

"Don't pout, Ward. Anyone would be out of shape after living in a cell for years."

"I'm not just anyone," he whined as he allowed Hunter to help him to his feet.

"You're a big baby," Hunter said seriously, handing him a bottle of water.

"Am not-oh shut up!" He said, throwing a towel at Hunter's smug face.

Hunter chuckled and took a long drink of water.

Grant hated feeling like this. He swore he'd never be physically weak again. That he'd never be incapable of protecting the people he loved again. Being useful in a fight was his greatest strength and now…

"Come on, mate. You look like I just killed your dog."

Grant frowned, remembering Buddy.

No, now was not the time.

He sighed and took a seat, taking a long drink before placing the bottle on the back of his neck to cool off.

"It's not you. It's me. They used to compare me to Romanoff, you know? And now I'm no better than Steve Rogers was before they pumped him full of that superhuman serum."

He glanced over at him sadly. "Hunter, how am I supposed to be there for Skye when the time comes if I can't even beat you in a fight?"

Hunter clapped him on the shoulder and met his eyes seriously. "You're more than just a workhorse here to kick arse, Ward. You have a lot of information on how Hydra operates, where their bases are, who they are. You will get back in shape but that isn't the only reason we need you.

Yeah, Skye's batshit crazy sperm donor might show up again but it's not your job to handle him. What we need is to bring down Hydra and the Cult so they aren't a threat anymore.

You've got to stop putting all this pressure on yourself. You've been out of prison for a day; give yourself some time. Now, if in six months you're still piss poor in a fight, then we'll have issues."

Grant smiled, feeling a little better. He knew he wasn't going to stop being hard on himself but the encouragement helped.

"Thanks, Lance."

"Anytime, mate. In fact, I may start an inspiration podcast. Or something less fuckboyish."

Grant laughed and finished off his bottle, wondering if he had time to take that nap he'd promised Jemma he'd take before the party. Speaking of…

"So, Lance, I've been thinking-"

"That's dangerous."

Grant was beginning to see why Coulson always seemed to have a migraine around Hunter.

"We're in Virginia, right? A few miles outside of Langley, I'm guessing?"

"How did you know?"

"Because the best place to hide spies in amongst other spies; right where the feds wouldn't think to look." Plus, he'd been paying attention on the ride over.

Hunter narrowed his eyes with a smile. "And here you thought you were only good for your body."

Grant rolled his eyes with a shake of his head. "Anyway…So before everything went to shit I kind of sold everything; properties, safe houses, possessions I didn't really need and put them all into different trusts. And I put those and all of my important paperwork and personal possessions in a safety deposit box in one of the old banks in DC."

"Yeah, so?"

Grant held his tagged hand up helplessly. "I obviously can't go get everything out myself, but I really need to get that stuff out."

Hunter stared at him suspiciously. "So you want me to go to the capital, waltz into a very public place, and get you a box of crap?"

"Yes?" Grant knew it was a lot to ask but he didn't really have anyone else.

"You do know you're a spy, right? Why in the hell did you get rid of all of your stashes? And safe houses! Are you fucking crazy?"

"No, actually. I'm the opposite."

Okay, maybe he was a _little_ crazy, but not for this.

Hunter crossed his arms and stared at him, waiting for an explanation.

Grant sighed, knowing he needed to work on this showing vulnerability and opening up to people thing, but he knew it was going to sound really stupid. Then again, this was Hunter so if anyone would understand it would be him.

"I wanted out. Don't get me wrong, I actually like being undercover and going on missions but…"

"You fell in love."

Grant smiled, he knew Hunter got him.

"Skye is brilliant and I knew she would make a great agent. Sometimes I would fantasize about us staying partners and traveling the world and just fighting and fucking but then…"

Flashes of memories played through his mind and he clenched his fist. She should have never been in the line of fire. He would never forget how seeing her bleeding to death on that floor had made him feel. How terrified he'd been.

The thought of losing her…

"Skye almost died.

This job is dangerous and I always knew that. I mean, I've almost died more times than I can count but it never really hit me until it was her lying on that table.

And I think I fell in love with her the first time she sassed me but it took me too long to accept it and even longer to tell her. I just always thought there would be time. And then she got shot and I realized this life isn't worth losing her for.

I was stupid enough to think that once I repaid my debt to John I would be free to live my own life. I was going to tell her how I felt and give her the perfect life, family, anything she wanted. But now I know he would have just used her to control me by hurting her."

He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to go there. John wasn't worth feeling like this.

"Anyway, I didn't want to confess my love to her while she was recovering so I made all the moves I needed to make in case she decided that she wanted us to leave S.H.I.E.L.D. I sold everything but my cabin and I put all of my money into trusts for her so that if anything happened to me she would be taken care of.

And I know Skye can take care of herself, I just wanted her to have the freedom to do whatever she wanted with her life.

Now that I'm probably being hunted by every federal agency I want to make sure they're somewhere safe. She has Alice now, having escape money is even more important. I want you to promise me, if something does happen, you make sure Skye gets those bonds and account numbers." They'd been put in his last name since he didn't have another to give her but his girl was damn good with forging identities. She'd be fine.

"Of course, mate. I'd do anything for those two."

"Me too," Grant admitted, knowing he was capable of anything and when it came to Skye he would do whatever it took to keep her safe.

"And I know you'd get her the money, even without me having it all hidden here, but I also have some of my grandmother's things in that box and there's something in there I really want Alice to have and I do owe her a birthday present, so…"

"Goddammit, Ward. You make it really hard for people to not like you. Does she know about all of this?"

"No. I didn't really get that far once everything went to hell."

Hunter sighed and leaned back, thinking about it. "I don't like leaving the base," Grant's stomach fell. It was fair. He was asking too much. "But…" Grant looked up hopefully. "Damn if it doesn't sound fun to tempt fate like this."

Grant smiled and hugged him gratefully. "I owe you, man."

"Oh, you have no idea how much."

* * *

Grant stood sleepily in the shower, regretting his nap. It had been less than an hour but now he felt worse. He had no sense of time, his entire body had cotton mouth, and he was more exhausted than he'd been when he'd laid down. He'd hoped the water would help but he was close to falling asleep standing up.

He shut off the water and quickly dried up and changed. He stared at his disgusting beard in the mirror, knowing he'd have to do something about it and his hair soon. He wasn't going to help his reputation of being a killer looking like the goddamn Unabomber.

Grant swung by the kitchen and made himself the strongest cup of coffee possible before heading down to Jemma's lab. He hoped she was alone. He didn't want to be the cause of a fight between her and Fitz. He didn't want to be the cause of anything when it came to Fitz. He needed to find time to talk to him, to apologize, but he didn't want to force it on him. Maybe the Doc could help him arrange it.

Grant turned a corner and nearly knocked Jemma over.

"Oh, shit! Are you okay?" He asked, fussing over her as he helped her stay upright. He wasn't sure he could forgive himself if he ever hurt her. He'd done that enough for a lifetime.

Jemma shook her head, wiping at her eyes. "I'm fine. I just wasn't paying attention."

He hadn't even noticed she'd been crying and his stomach fell. "Jem, you're not fine. What happened?"

She looked around and shook her head, motioning for him to follow her. She led him past the doors to the labs and towards her medical office. Once they were inside she shut the door and went to her desk, sitting on the edge and using her sleeves to wipe at her eyes.

"I'm fine, Ward. It's sweet that you're worried, but I don't need it."

"The hell you do, Jemma. I almost trampled you."

She chuckled. "You're not that strong anymore."

"You're still that short."

"Oh, hush."

Grant sat in one of her chairs and was now eye-level with her. "Jemma, you can talk to me. Who am I going to tell?"

She sighed and reached out to pat his hand. "It's not that, it's just…I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, but if you change your mind-"

"Oy, there you are. You owe me a bloody vacation, mate-What the hell did he do this time?" Hunter asked angrily, setting down the bag he was carrying and shoving past Ward to touch Jemma's tear-stained cheek and inspect her puffy eyes.

"I'm fine, don't start."

"No, you are not fine. I don't care how bloody damaged Fitz is, he doesn't get to treat you like shite, Jemma. I'm giving him a-"

"No, you're not! My relationship is none of your business. Do you see me interfering with your weird love triangle? No. And Fitz needs time and patience right now, not for you to attack him."

"No, what he needs is to stop taking his bad moods out on you. It's my job to keep you safe. I know you like to pretend you can do it all on your own but you can't. You've been through too much and you're too busy taking care of everyone else to take care of yourself.

Just because you want to give him a pass to treat you like crap doesn't mean I'm going to."

"Says the man who treats Bobbi like the devil!"

"That is different and you know it!"

"No, it isn't! You need to forgive her already! And Fitz is the way he is because he almost died to save my life! His frustrations are not his fault. And this is not me making excuses for him, he is in a lot more pain that he lets on to the rest of you and I can handle his mood swings."

"Yeah, you've been handling them really well lately. Is that why you've been sleeping in Trip's room instead of your own bed?"

"Okay, everyone needs to calm down," Grant said, putting himself between the two of them. Sure, this was none of his business but Jemma looked ready to kill Hunter and at the very least a full-blown screaming match was about to erupt and Hunter wasn't the only one feeling protective of Jemma. He wasn't going to sit back and let someone else make her cry, not on his watch.

"Piss off, mate," Hunter warned.

"I will not. She's a grown-ass woman who is capable of fighting her own battles.

And Jemma, he's your actual family, of course he's worried about you. You should be happy to have him. Most of us don't get to keep family around in this life. You both were lucky enough to be recruited by the same agency and to be working on the same team. I would give anything to see my brother again and you two get to see each other every day.

So instead of fighting why won't we take a little break and when we're all feeling level-headed we can have a discussion about our issues. Maybe in the safe space of therapy. Or with a bottle of Scotch?"

Jemma glared at him but she wasn't yelling so he took it as a good sign.

"Fine, but this isn't over. I warned that little prick what I would do to him if he ever hurt you when you started shagging him and I meant every word."

Jemma turned to him with a scowl. "Oh, I am going to shove my foot so far up your arse-"

"Hey! Hunter! Why don't you tell me how our little mission went? And why I owe you a vacation, which I will gladly pay for." He wasn't sure how since technically all of his money was Skye's now but he'd make it work.

Hunter shot Jemma a glare as he grabbed the duffle bag and set it on Jemma's desk. "The bloody feds were there hunting for you. You were right about that. But what I bet you didn't count on was your bloody brother, the senator, I'm assuming he's not the one you miss, was all over the bloody telly milking your escape for publicity."

"Oh no, I definitely knew he'd pull that crap."

Christian was predictable.

"If there were feds there, how did you get into my box?"

"With these." Hunter smirked and held up his own set of keys before tossing Grant his. "Unlike you, I still have my stashes and lucky for you, I'm also into using those old banks with their lax security." Using a corporate bank was a surefire way to be spotted on surveillance. "Cleaned mine out along with yours, just in case they checked," he said, taking out a bunch of cash and passports and setting them aside before sliding the bag to Grant. "Too bad we can't get pizza delivery, eh?" Hunter teased, fanning himself with his money. "Now, what in the bloody hell did you need so badly?"

Grant shook his head and began taking items out. A photo album from when his Gramsy had been a young woman. The copies of the bonds and accounts he'd put in Skye's name, the deed to the cabin, also in Skye's name, the keys to said cabin, a box with a locket inside, and-

"Paw-Paw!" He cried out happily, squishing his old dog against his chest. Sure, he needed to be run through the machine but he was still intact and just as snuggable. Alice was going to love him.

"Aww, Ward, he is precious." Jemma cooed.

"Paw-Paw?" Hunter asked, trying not to laugh.

"I was two and had trouble with words, okay?" Grant said defensively. "Do you think he'll survive the washer? I don't want to give him to Alice like this."

Jemma squealed and covered her mouth, about to cry. "That is the sweetest gift ever. Don't worry, leave him with me and I'll get him cleaned up."

"Thanks, Jemma," he said with a smile before searching through the empty bag.

Panic set in when he realized it was missing. "No, no, no," he muttered, patting every pocket and possible corner it could be hiding in. He held the bag up and shook it but nothing came out.

"Ward, what's wrong?" Hunter asked and Grant took a few deep breaths, trying not to freak out.

"There's supposed to be a purple box with…an engagement ring, where is it?"

Hunter and Jemma shared a 'what the fuck' look before Jemma took the bag and searched it, coming up empty.

"Are you sure you put it in the deposit box? Maybe it was on the bus…._oh_."

If it was left on the bus it was long gone.

All because he'd been stupid enough to take his grandmother's engagement ring and have it engraved because he was feeling manic after Skye didn't die as if she would have actually said yes to a marriage proposal back then. And now she'd never have the damn ring because it was gone.

"You bought her a bloody engagement ring?" Hunter asked incredulously.

"No!" That would have been crazier than what he'd actually done. "It was my grandmother's. The stone was missing and I always planned to replace it and then when Skye got shot I um…" Okay, yeah, he was crazy. "I just wanted it ready in case the time ever came and I was going to put in the deposit box when we stopped at the Triskelion but then-fuck! I can't even remember the last time I saw it. My grandmother's turning over in her grave right now. Oh, fuck."

"Oh…Grant…" Jemma wrapped an arm around him. "We'll find it. I'm sure it was left on the plane. We'll search it up and down until we find it. We never got around to repairing it so nothing's been removed except our own things that we cleared out of there. I bet it's still in your room, with the rest of your things."

"I doubt my things are still in there. Someone would have burned them by now."

"No!" Hunter said, finally speaking. "I remember Skye threw a huge fit when Coulson tried to box up his shit. Remember? It was when she was in her crazy emotion stage…" He eyed Jemma suspiciously. "Like someone I know…We're talking later."

Jemma gave him a mean side-eye before turning back to Grant.

"See, Skye must still have them. Or she put them away somewhere," Jemma insisted, pushing back some of his hair and giving him a small smile. "Your grandmother's ring is somewhere on this base. We'll get it back."

"Just don't mention the part where you planning to propose to her before your first real date when you ask Skye about it," Hunter offered.

"I was not going to-" He groaned. Great, they were never going to let him live this down.

"It's cool, mate. I married Bobbi after a week, then divorced her when I found out she'd been lying to me our entire marriage, then married her again. We all do stupid shite for love, mate."

Jemma shook her head with a sigh. "He has a point. Though it would be nice if you idiot men would just tell us how you felt before doing stupid shite. Like…don't tell me you love me before nearly drowning to save my life or in the middle of shagging for the first time while the rest of us are off saving Coulson's girlfriend and you're planning to kidnap her." She shot Grant a knowing smirk and he groaned, covering his face.

"In my defense I didn't think I was ever going to see her again and I had no plans to kidnap her but when John called and threatened to kill her if I didn't he didn't leave me much choice."

"You're still a bloody coward. You could have told her at any time. Just like Fitz…he had fifteen bloody years to tell me how he felt but instead he does it right before blowing a bloody hole in that pod and then he went on to stay in a bloody coma for six months, leaving me alone with that knowledge and guilt.

Just like you could have stayed with Skye in that bar in Dublin and told her how you felt or you could have told her when she didn't die or when she finally got sick of waiting for you to make a move and kissed you.

Hunter may be an idiot but at least when he's in love with someone he just fucking says it. Even if doesn't always work out for him."

"Hey!"

Jemma had a point. He could have told her a million times. That night in Dublin, after he'd been fighting his feelings for so long, he finally realized that she understood him and he didn't want to hide how he felt anymore. He'd been fighting the urge to go to her and tell her he loved her when May had given him an opportunity to take his cover even deeper and being the coward he was he took the easy route.

"Shit, I am a coward," Grant muttered. He should have stayed and had that drink and then taken Skye to bed instead of her…

Oh fuck, he'd had sex with her mother. She was never going to take him back.

"I still can't believe you freaked out because she got shot and got her an engagement ring."

"I did not get her an engagement ring! I just fixed the one I already had that my grandmother made me swear I would only give to 'the one'," he said lamely.

"Still should have asked her on a bloody date first," Hunter said, reaching for some of Jemma's candy in her bowl and she slapped his hand away.

"What was your plan, exactly?" Jemma asked, curious.

"To tell her when she was out of the med-pod. Not that she didn't know." Okay, maybe she hadn't. He thought the whole never leaving her bedside and killing a man for threatening her thing had been a clue but she had been surprised when he confessed he loved her so maybe they were both idiots.

"But then fucking Steve Rogers outed Hydra which kind of cock blocked my plans to run away with her."

Jemma kissed his cheek with a smile before resting her head on his shoulder and patting the top of his head. "You're such an idiot."

"Thanks for the reminder, Jemma."

He sighed and reached for the box with his Gramsy's locket in it and handed it to Jemma. "I need a favor."

"This one is all about favors today."

"It's for Alice," he snarked, shooting Hunter a glare.

"Anything for her," Jemma said seriously.

When Grant finished telling Jemma his plan her eyes were filled with tears and she gave him a bear-hug. "Of course, I'll get right on it. And this locket is lovely, your grandmother had excellent taste."

"Dammit, Ward, you and your romantic bullshit are making the rest of us look bad."

Jemma smacked his shoulder. "Try harder then.

I'll go to the lab now and get this fixed and get Paw-Paw cleaned up.

I will see the two of you tonight."

"And I will be following her because she has some explaining to do," Hunter said, quickly going after Jemma.

Grant shook his head with a smile and packed up his things.

He made sure Jemma's office locked behind him and he made his way through the maze of offices, trying to remember which turn to take to get back to his room. He wasn't sure he'd found the right hallway until a tiny human threw herself around his legs.

"Well, hello there princess," he said with a smile as he glanced down at a giggling Alice. "Where are you running off to?"

"Mommy says it's bath time but I no want to. Shh." She pressed a finger to her lips and he chuckled, sure poor Skye was not amused by this.

He knew he wasn't supposed to be this close to her but she didn't seem to be having any weird visions so he scooped her up and carried her towards the kitchen so he could get her back to her mom safely.

"Come on, I'll help you hide from her," he lied.

"That presents for me?" She asked curiously, looking at his bag.

He laughed and shook his head. "No, presents for mommy. But it's our secret, okay? I want her to be surprised."

Alice made a show of zipping her lips and he was reminded of how innocent Thomas had been as a child. Before everything…

"Alice Linn W-oh, there you are," Skye said in relief, covering her heart with hand and letting out a sigh.

"I found a runaway," Grant said with a smile, setting her down, glad his little trip down memory lane hadn't affected the little one. He fully understood Skye's worry. His mind was a dark, dangerous place that no child needed to peek into.

"Thank you." Skye scooped up the toddler and stared her down with a frown. "What have I told you about running off?"

"No do it?"

"And yet you still do it."

"Sowwy?"

Alice batted her eyes and Skye shook her head in resignation before kissing her forehead. "The next time you do it no pancakes for a week!"

The little girl gasped and shoved her bottom lip out, wibbling it.

"Yeah, that doesn't work on me. Only on your grandpa and uncles."

Skye met his eyes and he forgot how to breathe for a moment. "Thank you again. I do not have the time today to chase her around this base."

"Anything for you," he said stupidly before realizing how lame he sounded. "I mean-um…anytime."

Skye smiled and they stood giving each other a lingering stare for far too long before Alice interrupted their awkward moment of eye-fucking.

"Time for cake, Mama!"

Skye turned her attention back to Alice and poked her nose. "Not until after your bath and your lesson with Lao Lao."

Alice groaned loudly but Skye was not having any of it. "Don't start with me, miss. Now, say bye to Mister Grant and thank him for finding you before you hurt yourself."

"Bye, bye Mista Gwant. Phank you!" She said with a sweet smile.

"You're welcome," he replied, unable to not smile as he watched them leave.

Alice poked her head over Skye's shoulder and waved and he waved back, feeling confident he was leaving his precious Paw-Paw in good hands. Only someone that precious was worthy of his favorite toy.


End file.
